DON'T LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP

When you call me and I don't answer, you get my voicemail message. The message that clearly says you have reached SARAH and if you want to talk to SARAH you should leave SARAH a message. (Okay fine, so it doesn't actually say SARAH that many times. But it is clear that you are talking to SARAH.)

So why, Simon-from-the-mortgage-company, do you keep leaving messages for NICHOLAS about his mortgage when you know you are leaving a message on SARAH's voicemail? I mean, okay. The first time, maybe. But after not getting a return phone call after the 2nd message, why did you keep doing it? At that point, it should have been obvious that this was not NICHOLAS's number. It should have also probably crossed your mind that perhaps after you left the 7th message, SARAH was starting to get a little annoyed with you.

You called again today. You hung up after the voicemail message. I hope this means you have finally figured it out. IDIOT.

p.s. Yes. I know I could have called him back and told him to stop calling me, but that shit was long-distance.

Ugh, cherry!

There is nothing funnier than watching someone use the map to navigate a box of chocolates, only to end up with the gross cherry one anyway. SICK.

BAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wing? Sprinter?

It's possibly the most annoying time of year. That first bit of spring where it's still SO COLD in the morning but then it warms up later in the day. You're itching to wear your spring clothes, but that means walking to the bus in ballet flats and freezing your little toesies off because it's only 4 degrees. If you err on the side of caution and dress for the cold bit, then you're hauling around a wool coat at the end of the day when it's too warm to wear it. It is the worst!

Just hurry up already, spring!