Friday, January 30, 2009

Meme me.

So I got tagged with another meme on Facebook this time, so I did it. Since some of you might not be able to see me on the FB, I am posting it here too. So here you go. 25 random things about me:

1. I love movies about the mafia, and have seen Goodfellas at least 25 times in my life. Probably more, actually.

2. I could not stand to eat onions until I was about 21. They suddenly became delicious.

3. I love to hug people.

4. When I was about 12, I decided that since I couldn't be pretty, I was going to be funny. It was an actual decision that I made. Because of this I am generally uncomfortable with compliments about how I look. But I love it if you laugh at my jokes.

5. I hate ice skating. This stems from an unfortunate incident at the age of 10, involving a mime.

6. I fall asleep listening to Kid A almost every night. (Though sometimes it is Amnesiac instead.)

7. I spent 3 years in college without ever taking a 2nd year course. That shit takes TALENT.

8. Every time I write something on Facebook, twitter or my blog about dancing, I am actually doing it. Every time. I just really love dancing.

9. I love wearing pants, but if I lived alone I would probably never wear them at home. Just because I wouldn't have to.

10. I want to travel, but I'm afraid to go anywhere by myself.

11. When I really like a song, I listen to it OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

12. I hope to one day find the perfect magical heels that will not make my feet hurt.

13. I am a bit of a label whore. I can't pass up a sweet deal on name brands.

14. Even before I got glasses, I secretly wished for them. I thought they would make me look

15. If I ever say something awkward, I will obsess for DAYS about what I could have said instead of the awkward thing I did actually say.

16. I think the r's in my first and last name are too close together and therefore think my name sounds weird. I would totally change my last name if I get married, because I think I can do better.

17. I regularly forget to eat meals. I just get caught up in whatever it is that I'm doing and the thought of eating never occurs to me.

18. I often think about living in another city, but don't know that I could handle doing it all on my own.

19. I can sometimes control my dreams. When I'm falling asleep I just think about the thing I want to dream about, and then I end up dreaming about it.

20. I am almost always wearing at least two layers of clothing.

21. The eating of corn on the cob FREAKS ME OUT. If I ever have it, I cut the corn off with a knife. I don't like watching other people eat it either.

22. It drives me mental when grown adults talk like babies. Even when they are talking TO babies.

23. I had no idea that I wanted to be a writer until about 3 years ago. I wish I had known earlier.

24. I love nerds. A boy is so much cuter if there is a slight nerd element present. Nerdy friends are better too!

25. I don't like planning. I have no five year plan. I have no five minute plan. I'm cool with that

So there you go. WORD.

The piano has been drinking, but not me.

After the day I had today, I really felt like I should have been. (Drinking, that is.) Today was the day that I took on my first official writing duties. It was the most horribly stressful thing EVER.

But, I have the good fortune to have the kind of job where I can spin around in my chair and yell out random vulgarities until I calm the fuck down, so that I can get back to work. So that's what I did. And it was great.

I'm taking baby steps, but I'll get there eventually. When I *do* get there, I will blow your goddamn mind. (I'm going to be a writer. That is CRAZY!)

ANYWAYS... I ended my day by watching this at my desk with my homies. It's fucking HILARIOUS. I think I need to get some Tom Waits into my music collection. Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I heart you.

So like, fucking Valentine's Day is coming up. In celebration of this wicked awesome occasion (which I will spend by myself, bt-dubs) my boss has filled our candy dish at work with those little candy hearts that say things on them.

Typically, I enjoy these candies very much. They serve as a self-esteem boost at times when these sorts of compliments are not flying at you in a fast and furious manner. I mean, who DOESN'T like to pull out a piece of candy that says "I like U", "U R Nice", or "Sweet Ass"?

However, this batch is a bit of a dud. I was expecting something way cute, and what do I get?

"Love Talk".

LOVE TALK?!?!? What the hell? These things are supposed to make up for the LACK of that. Pfffft. Love talk.

Normally, I'd be all, "Suck it!", but I can't really say that. Cause that's exactly what I did to the candies. (They were delicious.)

Monday, January 26, 2009

The sleeps.

I think I have the insomnias again. UGH. It has been awhile since I have had a bout of it. It sucks.

Ever since my ridiculous caffeine overdose on Friday, I have been one giant ball of intensely nervous energy. I just can't calm down. I suppose there are some factors that have made me slightly more nervous than usual, but I don't know. It just seems so amplified, considering that I can't think of one major thing that I am WORRIED about.

I wonder what it must be like to be a person who never has problems sleeping, and never finds themselves SO worked up (about NOTHING) that every muscle in their body is tense. It must be so very, very awesome.

Can you teach me how to calm the frig down?

Friday, January 23, 2009

It is funny because it is true.

So Lydia and Kelly read my tweets about the Dr. Pepper and both laughed their butts off, because they know that I seriously get like that. And was sort of still like that when I showed it to them. And am still sort of like that now. Like a bajillion hours later. I am a giant ball of nervous energy.


Nighty night.

Ohhhh! Milk was a bad choice!

In this case, Dr. Pepper was a bad choice.

You see, what happened was that I had a coffee this morning because it's totally Friday and that's like, WHAT I DO ON FRIDAYS so I had a coffee. Then I got to work and it was Rob's 50th birthday, so being the mature grown up he is, he requested a Pizza Pop lunch which also included the following: Dr. Pepper, Twinkies and Sun Chips. So ANYWAYS, I totally ate some Sun Chips and like 2 Pizza Pops (those things are small! Don't judge me.) and had like 2 cups of Dr. Pepper, because IT WAS DR. FREAKING PEPPER, you know? I love that shit.

Then I started to feel weird. Like really nervous. So I turned around in my chair and was all, "Yo. Guys. Does Dr. Pepper have caffeine in it? BECAUSE I AM FREAKING OUT OVER HERE SO I SORT OF THINK IT DOES."

As it turns out, it does.

So, yeah. I suppose those who are hyper sensitive to caffeine should probably not consume mass freaking quantities of it. Because then you will speak/write exclusively in run on sentences and use caps lock FOR NO REASON and everyone will think you are crazy, but you aren't you really just had too much Dr. Pepper.

Rookie move.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

An open letter to Microsoft Word

Dear Microsoft Word,

I know that you go out of your way to be helpful, but I think you should know that there is such a things as being TOO helpful. You are always there to point out potential spelling and grammatical errors, which I do very much appreciate. HOWEVER, I would really appreciate it if you would keep your font preferences to yourself.

Allow me to be frank with you: when I say "ARIAL 12 POINT BOLD", I mean "ARIAL 12 POINT BOLD". I don't care how many times you try to change it, I will always mean "ARIAL 12 POINT BOLD".

I assure you, I will never, EVER, mean "Times New Roman 10 point regular". Ever. Seriously, dude. NEVER.

Let this letter serve as notice to you, Microsoft Word. Your reign of terror is OVER. TIMES NEW ROMAN IS THE SHITTIEST FONT EVER AND I WILL NEVER USE IT SO JUST GIVE UP ALREADY.




Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Best. Day. EVER.

I am downright gleeful. FILLED WITH GLEE, I TELL YOU! Later on today, I shall celebrate this most wonderful day with a dance. The dance of joy.

Well, not THE dance of joy... but A dance of joy.

Monday, January 19, 2009

What the morning will bring.

Tomorrow is going to be a great day.


Never in a million years did I ever think Biggie got his flava from friggin' Herb Alpert.

I mean, seriously.

I like to imagine Diddy just chillin in the VIP lounge, when this song comes on and he's all, "Shit, son! Take out that whack-ass trumpet and you got a party!"

The rest, my friends, is history.

(Thanks to Alan for showing me this!)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Seven More Things.

This is for my sister, because she's a jerk and already knew that stuff.

1. Sometimes I really DO worry about living alone. If I got hurt, how would anyone know? It would be days before anyone tried to find me... Gah! So yeah, I'm not always joking about that.

2. I am a little bit psychic. I have had premonitions before. Usually they just come to me in the form of a thought. I'll just think about something happening and then it does. Sometimes they have come to me in dreams. I first realized this when I had a very vivid dream about my Grandpa dying. (I was 17 at the time.) About a month later it actually happened in the way I had dreamt about it. Creepy, huh?

3. I love to not speak. Sometimes I'll spend an entire day at home by myself without ever saying a word. I just think it's so nice to just SHUT UP every now and then. It makes me think about how sometimes when you are talking when you don't have anything to say you are really just throwing them away.

4. If you get your hair cut, I probably won't notice. At all. Unless it is like crazy different. This is because as soon as I see someone with a new look, I immediately forget what they used to look like before the change was made. So if you got your bangs cut but your hair is still long, it will look exactly the same to me. This is why I hurt your feelings by not noticing.

5. Using the microwave makes me nervous. Science tells me that I need not worry, but I am always convinced that the damn thing is going to explode right before it beeps.

6. Speaking of the microwave... I often tap dance in front of it when I'm waiting for my food to cook. I've been doing it since my parents got their first microwave back in the day. It just seems like the perfect time to tap dance. I mean, what else have you got going on?

7. I once had a play date with Jimi Hendrix's father. When I was little (maybe about 3 or 4?) my aunt was babysitting me at her house. Her boyfriend's family was quite close to the Hendrix family, and he was up visiting them. Apparently I danced? I don't remember it at all, but I wish I did. It's a cute story.

So there you go. Seven MORE things. Sister, I bet you know all of these too... but they are slightly more interesting, yes? If not, SUCK IT. Muah.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Seven Things

So there's this Twitter meme thingy going around where you write a blog post and tell people seven things about you that they may not know just from reading Twitter or your blog. I got tagged by @sugarmiss80, so here it goes...

1. I do not have pierced ears. I have my nose pierced and at one time had one in my lip as well, but nothing in the ears. Most people think that's really weird. Sometimes I think about giving it a try... but meh.

2. I still have my baby blanket. I used to keep it on my bed and sleep with it under my pillow for YEARS. I was seriously old when I stopped sleeping with it. It eventually migrated to the top shelf of my closet, but I never got rid of it. I think it is at my parents house still. I find it oddly comforting to know that it is still there. (Its name was (of course) Blankie.)

3. I am an accomplished trombone player. I started playing when I was 11 and played straight on through till I was about 20. I was freaking GOOD. Sadly, I haven't played it in years. Now when I try to play it mostly sounds like farts. (But like, really beautiful farts.)

4. I hate being alone in public places. It freaks me out. I was forced to do it when I travelled by myself but I do NOT like it. It is highly unlikely that you will ever see me sitting in a coffee shop all by myself, and you will DEFINITELY never see me eat at a restaurant alone. I just don't like not being able to talk.

5. I know all the words to "Gimme Dat Nut" by Eazy-E and can't hear the song without singing along. Cause I'm awesome like that. But that is the only time I ever sound that vulgar. I swear.

6. I watch "Save the Last Dance" and "Honey" pretty much every time they are shown on TV. Which means that I have seen each of them about a million times. And I'm not sorry.

7. I have weird childhood memories that no one else in my family remembers. They all think I'm crazy, but I swear they really happened. There are two in particular:

a) I was about 3 or 4 and was getting ready for preschool in the morning, when I got an attack of heartburn. I was standing in the kitchen and my dad was all, "WHATEVER, YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL." Can 3 year olds get heartburn? I think it's hilarious.

b) I was watching Magnum PI with my brother once when he turned to me and said, "Magnum PI is such a GAYLORD!". He then turned back to the TV and kept watching. I suspect he didn't really know what gaylord meant.

There you have it. Seven things you may not have known about me. Or perhaps seven things you totally already know about me, in which case I say, "Whatever. Suck it!" Haha, just kidding! You're awesome.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Most peculiar, mama...

Mondays are nothing but trouble, I tell you.

Coworker #1: "Looks like everything is under control here."

Coworker #2: "That's what we WANT you to think..."

Me: "That's what we want your Mom to think..."

SEE? And this stupid joke was made even AFTER I finished my coffee. *sigh*

It's going to be a long day.

Thursday, January 08, 2009


I was drinking some tea and I saw my reflection at the bottom of the cup. I started laughing because my face was all weird like when you look into one of those wacky mirrors they have in fun houses. I thought I looked cute.

It made me think of my nephew, who is five, because this is exactly the kind of thing that he finds HILARIOUS. Because he is five. And awesome.

I hope I never stop laughing at the things I thought were so funny when I was five.

I'm having a real time of it...

The following events are what caused me to spin around in my chair and exclaim to my coworker, "I'm having a real time of it today, Rob. A REAL TIME OF IT!"

First off, I put this fancy new hair stuff in my hair. I like it, but I forgot to round brush my stupid bangs again, thus causing me to be annoyed with the way said bangs are sitting. The rest of my hair looks very beachy. It's nice.

Then I decided that I totally had time to make a latte, but only if I multi tasked by putting the coffee on and running away to brush my teeth in the bathroom. This is false. You do not have time to brush your teeth while you are making a latte. Because by the time your teeth are brushed you will run out into the kitchen, the espresso will be done and there will be no goddamn steam left for your milk. Then you will have to put your milk in the microwave, and that shit just ain't right. It is not the same. So do not attempt to brush your teeth whilst making a latte. Unless you make a latte in the bathroom, or brush your teeth in the kitchen.

Then there was the phone issue. I got my phone lines transferred at work, which meant that I had to un-forward my calls to my old number. I could not figure out how to do this, because the phone at my new desk is different than my old phone. We could only find a manual for the NEW version of the phone, which instructed me to simply press the "call forward" button twice. But my phone did not HAVE a "call forward" button. Hence my confusion. So THEN I got the bright idea to just switch the phones around. This involved me crawling around under my desk (in a shortish dress) trying to find the plugger-inner thinger. (That is the technical name for it, I believe.) I could not find the plugger-inner thinger, because it is apparently located far away from my desk and can only be found by following a complex trail of weaving wires. It took a very long time for me to realize that I could just remove this bottom platform thingy on the phone and unplug it from there. And then I felt really stupid and everyone laughed. (But to be fair, THEY could not figure it out either!)

Which brings us up to now. I've just gone ahead and continued to do EVERYTHING wrong today. And all I have to say about it is this:

Le sigh.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

What a guy.

So last weekend I was sitting around, watching TV all day because I was sick. I was flipping through the channels and paused for a second on Entertainment Tonight. This is when it happened. This is when I got Rickrolled.


I am not even joking. It is a real thing. He ACTUALLY did this.

It's on an album and everything. He's so not even in on the joke... do you think he even knows about Rickrolling? Probably not. He probably just thought that this is what the kids are listening to these days.

Oy. And they wonder why the music industry is in trouble!

My taste buds is goin' WILD!

Forget about his taste buds... I'm going wild! Goddamnit, I love television.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Because I got tired of waiting.

I've been waiting to hear this ALL day. But, since the radio didn't cooperate with me and I am now all alone in the office...

Awwwww yeah. And one more thing, just because I can:

They really were like a factory of music!

Sunday, January 04, 2009


So I'm still sick. It just won't go away! Grrr.

As a result, I have spent the majority of my time cooped up in my house, hiding underneath blankets and passing the eff out 30 mins after taking my nightly dose of NyQuil. I actually did manage to leave the house for a bit yesterday, to go for a wander in the snowy city. It was quite pleasant, actually. Even with all of the cold and sniffling that came with it.

Today, however, was a totally different story. Last night I couldn't get to sleep, so I decided to watch Slumdog Millionaire. This was an excellent decision. This movie is amazing. It's such a great story, and it is very well told. It manages to be beautiful, horrifying, sweet, funny and intense all at once. I would highly recommend it. ANYWAYS... I ended up being awake until about 3am after that, so when I finally *did* fall asleep I was in it for the long haul. I totally didn't wake up until 1pm. It was at this time that I decided to remain in my pj's for the entire day. And so here I am, at 5pm. In my jammies.

I am such a rock star. *cough cough sneeze sniffle cough*