Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm on FIRE.

So, what is up? How are things? Really? That's great to hear. How am I? I AM FRIGGIN GREAT, THANKS FOR ASKING!

A miraculous thing has happened, dear friends. After much searching and general harassment of the Ticketmaster website I GOT ME SOME SPRINGSTEEN TICKETS.

Right beside the stage! ROW 4, SECTION 104, BITCHES!!!!!!!!

It will look JUST LIKE THIS!!!!!!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. It will be a miracle if I get all my work done today. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I forgive you, Ticketmaster. We can hang out. WOOOOOOOO!

Friday, March 28, 2008

On the mend.


Good lord, am I glad to see the weekend come! It's been a bit of a rough week. I am finally starting to feel better, though I sound a little bit like a man. You know, all croaky and hoarse-like. If there were ever a time to make harassing phone calls, that time would be now.

I fully intend to spend much of my time this weekend sleeping and getting back to full power. I think it will be nice. What will also be nice is when I cash in that miracle I've been holding onto and I get me some Springsteen tickets! I still have had no luck finding anything that does not SUCK. Oh well. Perhaps I am only meant to see his backside... which will appear to be the size of an ant. AWESOME.

Well, this girl is about to get herself on home. HELLS YEAH. I'll see you suckers awesome people later!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Back in half-full effect!

I decided to come back to work today despite being still sick. Since it seems to be IMPOSSIBLE for me to get any sleep like this, I figured I might as well just come to work if I'm going to be awake anyways. So I popped some DayQuil and here I am.

The funny thing about the situation is that DayQuil makes you totally high. I am not even joking. This is either going to be the best or worst day of work EVER. HAHAHAHA!

According to coworkers, you can see the DayQuil haze in my eyes... and you can see it when I try to type. It's quite funny. I am happy because this morning before work I went and stocked up on NyQuil, which will hopefully mean I will get some damn sleep. I have been up since 3:30am... and I think it shows.

Man, this DayQuil shit is good. Not good in the sense that it is making all my symptoms go away, but good in the sense that I really don't care that I still have them... because I feel a little floaty. There is a good possibility that in 15 mins I may start trying to discuss philosophy with people. Then I will probably tell them how much I love them, man.

In the meantime, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Heh. When is lunch? What? Wow.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The horror... THE HORROR!

I have run out of the Nyquil! When I realized this yesterday, I was profoundly upset. I felt too crappy to put on real pants and go get some. So I still have no Nyquil. Basically what I am saying is that this is total bullshit!

I really wish I had some sort of service where I could call and be all, "I need Nyquil." and then they would be all, "Okay, I will bring you some." What could they call that kind of service? Oh yeah, maybe MOM or BOYFRIEND. I have one of those, but as loving as my mommy is, she would not drive over 2 bridges just to bring me Nyquil. I don't blame her.

Oh well. I'll just have to find some other way to knock myself out for 8 hours. Like maybe rum? Or sleepytime tea? OH WAIT. I KNOW. I CAN PUT ON THOSE HARRY POTTER MOVIES. (Ohhhh, diss on you Harry Potter!)

Yeah. I think I need to go back to bed now. Thank you for your time.

7? In the am?

Dudes, it is just after 7am. I woke up at 6 to try to go to work. I was unsuccessful. I am staying home. My cough has turned into the hardcore kind that feels like your chest is being ripped apart when you cough. Awesome! (NO IT IS NOT. THAT WAS SARCASM.)

I'm going back to sleep now. Ugh.

Monday, March 24, 2008


I feel like the crap today. I think I am sick... as given to me by my caring nephew, Gavin. He thinks it is funny to blow in my face and freely distribute his germs. Well, kid... as soon as you figure out how to read, I shall direct you back to this very post just so you can read this sentence:
IT IS NOT FUNNY, YOU JERK! (But I still love you, despite your awful sense of humour. Who's your favourite Auntie? High five!)

I now have sore throat, headache and post-nasal drip which is causing me to feel quite nauseated. Fun times, hey? I got about 2 hours of sleep last night, so you can imagine how awesome I feel right now. I am hoping that I can get all my work done PDQ so that I may go home and right back to bed, which is where I should be. HOWEVER... it is not all bad.

I was sitting at my desk feeling gross(100 million)^2, when I heard this:

I still feel like crap physically... but the portion of my brain that appreciates friggin awesome 80's dance music is pretty damn happy right now. (That is a large portion, BTW.)

Can Yaz cure the common cold? Only time will tell...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Real pants vs. PJ pants. The debate continues...

I know it's easy to get all whiny about your life when you are either a) too busy or b) not busy enough. Lately for me, it seems to be the latter. I get bored very easily. It kind of sucks. Or does it??

The answer is NO. I came to this realization when at around noon today, upon being asked what I was doing my answer was something along the lines of "Drinking a latte and watching E! True Hollywood Story in my pj's... OBVIOUSLY."

Hello?!?!?! That shit is awesome! I never want to see the day when I am expected to be wearing actual pants before noon on a Saturday. I didn't get changed until 2. And even then it was into lulu's.

Now I am off to work on a new hip-hop dance routine. And I'm not putting my real pants on until 4:30. (In the PM, bitches!) Hells yeah.

I taught him everything he knows.

Conversation I had last night with my 4 year old nephew, Gavin:

G: "Auntie Sarah, do you like to watch America's Best Dance Crew on tv?"
G: "No. Do you like it?"
G: "Me too! It's the bestest."
ME: "TOTALLY. Who is your favourite crew?"
G: "Iconic!"
ME: "No way, man. It's all about Jabbawockeez and Kaba Modern."
ME: "Whatever, dude. They totally LOST!"
G: *sigh* "I know..."
ME: *looking at my mom* "This kid is so awesome. Obviously he has been listening to me."

And then we high fived. My brother is so lucky to have a kid that is EXACTLY LIKE ME.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Me and Julio Iglesias down by the cubicle...yard?

An odd title. Yes, I know. It's just because I'm at my cubicle (People around here like to call it an "office". You have to use air quotes when you say it out loud.) where there is a photo of Julio Iglesias pinned to the wall. I don't even really know why... I just put it there. Because how is that not funny? It is right beside a set of Wrestlemania (I, III and VIII) collector cards that Amanda found in the basement. What can I say, I have eclectic taste.

SO ANYWAYS... the whole point of this post is to talk about how after thinking about it for 2 days I could not think of anything to write about. Seriously. I have nothing. Isn't that crazy? TOTALLY!

The funny thing about this situation is that I have been really bothered by the fact that I couldn't think of anything to write about. So I am writing about having nothing to write about, just so that I have something to write about! This whole thing could have been avoided if I wasn't always so worried about people thinking that I am not funny. Since the inception of my blogging career, it has created this whole new source of anxiety. Because, you know... if I don't stick something up here every 2 days THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE WILL EXPLODE. BECAUSE I AM THAT IMPORTANT.

Oh sure, you laugh at that statement... but there's a reason I have made $1.84 off of this here blog. I've gotta keep this up, because in 20 years I would like to buy some jelly beans. I only like the expensive gourmet kind, so you can see why I need to save up. I must be able to keep myself in the lifestyle in which I have become accustomed to.

On a side note, I think I have been watching too much Seinfeld. Can you tell?

Monday, March 17, 2008

To the batcave! Or secluded den of evil. Whichever name you prefer.

I got new office furniture today at work. It is kind of hilarious. Imagine if you will, a cubicle. This is no ordinary cubicle... it is a cubicle covered in teal suede microfiber! No, I am not joking.

It is also funny because instead of the usual corkboard and push pin friendly walls, there is only one wall to stick things on. It has what resembles an upholstered headboard in shiny colour coordinated fabric. Hence the uncontrollable fit of giggles I have been in all day.

The most hilarious part about all of this is that my new "office" is waaaaaaaaay in the back of this narrow little hallway I have decided to call "the alley". I guess this is going to be where I beat people up when engaging in shady dealings. I am also going to see about rigging something up so that "Beat It" starts to play when I walk down there.

I now reside in a wee little corner far away from everyone else. I think it's pretty funny. We have come up with all sorts of fun names for it, such as "The Hole" and "Effing Siberia".

This is good news for you, the reader. Why? Because it will only serve to make me more bitter, which will likely make for excellent reading materials for you. I know you love it when I am miserable. That's when the sarcasm really shines. SHINES!

Friday, March 14, 2008


Easter is the time of year when Godless heathens come together to eat chocolate. Being that I AM one of those said heathens, I decided to get in the spirit of things and sample a seasonal treat.

I was inspired by Erin's post about the famous Cadbury Creme Egg. Lydia and I had been talking about them, and she seemed kind of shocked that I didn't really have any personal history with them.

I never ate them as a kid. My mom thought they were gross, so she never bought them for us. Since they were my main suppliers of candy (which was not something I got all that often) I just never had the chance to try them. I was never really interested in them as a teenager either. I think I've maybe had 3 of them in my entire life! I really couldn't remember what they tasted like.

So today I decided to give these little buggers a shot. What did I think?

Ummmm... it was okay. Kind of disappointing, actually. Erin and Lydia made them sound so amazing... but I was not all that impressed. For one thing, I thought the yolk part in mine was not yellow enough. Perhaps I just got a dud? I also thought it was a little bit too sweet for my liking.

That being said, I am willing to give them another shot. It is chocolate, after all! (Especially if I can find one of the illusive British eggs.) So there you have it kids. I can still be converted.

PS: I would also like to mention that as I write this I am watching an episode of 90210. It is Kelly's 21st birthday. How did they celebrate? They went to a Dave Koz concert! Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY OF LEGAL DRINKING AGE like saxophonic elevator music. Why did I ever think these people were awesome?

PPS: That reminds me, I'm turning 27 this year. I'm thinking... Kenny G. You in? Heck yes, you are.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

What, like you've never seen a girl breathing into a paper bag before?

What did you do today? Here's what I did:

Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. *pause* ...
Yay, they are gone! ...

SERIOUSLY. The hiccups are the friggin WORST! I have had them off and on all day. People have tried unsuccessfully to scare me, I held my breath, sat at my desk breathing into a paper bag for 10 mins... and no luck!

The only thing that manages to make it go away is the mystical powers of one of my coworkers. Seriously. He cured them twice just by being there. I think he secretly controls the universe or something. It's crazy. It is very handy to know someone who cures hiccups... but what the heck am I going to do if they come back when I am at home?

I gotta get that dude on speed dial.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sometimes I just like to veg out.

People are always asking me if I am a vegetarian. I am not. Not officially, anyways. I do eat meat every now and then... just not very often. It is not a decision I made for political reasons nor does it have anything to do with personal beliefs. I just don't like cooking with meat. It's kind of icky. In fact, I don't even like steak! *gasp*

This is pretty much why I started getting into cooking proper veg meals, instead of the pasta and sauce thing I used to do. My god, am I glad I did.

People, let me tell you about something that will change your life. It is called the "Three Sisters Burrito" from the Rebar cookbook. HOLY SHIT, THIS MEAL IS DELICIOUS.

It's roasted butternut squash, corn and cilantro with some chipotle and ancho chile flavours in it. I'm just going to go ahead and call it a FLAVOUR EXPLOSION.

AND it is even BETTER the next day after all the flavours have soaked in a bit. I just ate this for lunch, and I am telling the truth when I say that my day just got 1 million times better.

I would marry this burrito. (If it would have me.)

Go! Make it! Eat it! Then cry some tears of joy.

(PS: I don't bother making the red sauce. I just use salsa and it is the yums.)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A life of hermitude...

So you may recall that I had decided to attempt living like a hermit in order to save money. Here's an update:

I actually don't mind being a hermit! Is that weird? As it turns out, I really enjoy hanging out all by myself. I am not bad to hang out with! I mostly stay in my house and watch weird movies on TV. It's funny. I like it.

However, my hermitude has inadvertently spilled over into my work day. I used to make a point of going downstairs to eat lunch so that I could get away from my desk for a bit and socialize. But now I don't do that. Now I sit at my desk and play mah jong on the internets. I feel bad because I never see my work peeps as a result... but I really like mah jong. A lot.

What to do? Meh.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Get up, a get get get down...

Daylight savings time is a joke.

I lost an hour of sleep. Consequently, my internal clock is way messed up! You see, I was not tired at 10:30, which is normally when I would go to bed... because 10:30 was actually 9:30, which is way early! This means that I ended up staying up until 11:30. That wouldn't have been so bad... except that when the alarm went off at 6am it was really like it was 5am. Do you see how messed up that is? And for what? So I can wake up in the friggin dark? BULLCRAP.

So here. Watch this video and substitute "911" with "Daylight Savings Time" and you will see how I feel. Grrrrr.

On a side note, Steph and Daniel totally saw Flavor Flav eating at Anducci's in Burnaby! What the heck? He was even wearing the clock! In Burnaby! That's crazy!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Run, Forrest, Run!

So I'm due to go for a group training run after work... which is in about 20 mins. I am so NOT looking forward to this. I signed up for the Sun Run team at work again... and I have only agreed to go on this group run thingy because the team captain is just so darn NICE and I don't want to disappoint her. Seriously, she goes for runs on LUNCH BREAKS. For fun. Because she is fit as all get out and this exercise thing obviously does cause her to feel like she is going to throw up and then pass out.

I just want them all to know I am trying, however pathetic I look while doing so.

Go team! (I say this because one of you will surely have to help me get up the hill on the way back. Thank you in advance.)

It should be noted that I am also NOT looking forward to the bus ride back home when I'm all good and sweaty like. Ewwwwwww.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I never thought I would ever say this...

I think I am bored of the internet. (!!!!!!)

Due to a system upgrade at work, I have been unable to actually DO any work today. This means that aside from the few random tasks I have been able to complete, I have mostly been hanging out on the interwebs.

Did you know that after you cycle through your regular sites that the internet is TOTALLY BORING? Cause it is.

I have checked on the status of getting some halfway decent Springsteen tickets about 75 times today... and no luck. I think the Ticketmaster site hates me. I just don't want to sit in the VERY back of the balcony, 17 rows up if I don't have to. Is that so wrong? Am I being foolish to wait this out in hopes of having better seats pop up closer to the show date? I don't know how this crap works.

Can I go home now? No? Okay, I'll just sit here awhile longer and stare at things. I feel like I'm really doing some good here.

Monday, March 03, 2008

100% Certified Nerd. I've got the allergies to prove it.

Once I was at the doctor and he stuck that flashlighty thing up my nose to have a look. He told me I had an "allergic nose". At that very moment I thought, "Awesome. I wonder if I put that on my resume if it would help me get a computer based job..." I also thought, "Awesome. I AM NEVER GOING TO GET MARRIED."


I digress.

The point is that I have lots of allergies, which never seem to leave me alone. However, I have recently discovered another one and it may have the potential to actually be beneficial! That's right friends, I am allergic to work! No joke!

Over the past few months I have noticed that the frequency of daily sneezes is at an increased rate when I am at the workplace, vs. when I am at home. This is weird, because there are cats in my house which I am TOTALLY allergic to. One would think that I would sneeze more in the presence of a known allergen which causes my eyes to swell up if I touch them and then touch my eye.

AND there are no cats at work. (That is actually the one thing this place really has going for it... NO CATS!)

So why am I sneezing so much at work? Because I am allergic to work, OBVIOUSLY.


You can't argue with science.