Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Ooooooh, bop. Fashion.

This morning I had a real time of it trying to get out of the house. I could not figure out what to wear. As a result there is a giant pile of clothes on my bed and a giant pile of clothes on the floor. I'm probably not going to clean that up right away.

ANYWAYS... in my fit of "I hate everything I own." I pulled out a pair of pants that I haven't worn in forever. They are actually kind of cute. So I threw them on with some basics and decided that was good enough. I had to change my shoes when I looked out the window because it looked like it was about to rain like crazy. Then I finally left for work.

On the way to work all I could think about the ENTIRE TIME was how horrible my outfit was. I kept thinking about the pants and why I never wear them... then I remembered. These fuckers don't have any pockets on the side. I HATE THAT!!! I NEED THE POCKETS ON THE SIDE. They would be amazing pants if they just had frigging pockets. But they do not. And now I think I look like an idiot.

Then I got to thinking about my shoes. I tend to wear them when it is raining. Most of the time they look alright. Today however, they do not. I was sitting on the bus staring at my feet when I realized what the problem with my shoes was. THEY LOOK LIKE ORTHOPEDICS. What the hell? Why do I wear them? UGH.

By the time I got to work I was all in a snit about my wardrobe disaster and feeling slightly grumpy. As soon as I walked in the door, one of my favourite office peeps saw me and yelled out,
"SARAH!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER!!!" and scooped me up into the biggest and bestest bear hug ever, complete with the nuzzle on the top of the head.

Suddenly I didn't feel like I looked as bad as I thought I did. Why worry about these things? They are just pants. I think I would rather be wearing stupid pants and get a wicked awesome hug instead of wearing nice pants and no hugs. I am the winner!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

A real catch.

I've just uncovered a hidden talent. I am fricking AWESOME at making these:

Those would be vegan peanut butter cupcakes with chocolate ganache frosting. I KNOW, RIGHT????? (Note: I stole this picture from the interweb, so these are not actually MY cupcakes. Mine are BETTER. Because I covered the entire top with frosting.)

I can't even really tell you how friggin delicious these are. I'm just going to let you dream about how good they must taste. I think this may be my most marketable asset. I'm going to have to start advertising this to boys. (Ahem, GEORGE. You could have these EVERY DAY, baby.)

Friday, April 25, 2008

Attention to detail.

Last nigh Tracy came over for a visit. We decided to rent a movie and cook dinner, cause it's fun. (I forgot that it was Thursday, and as a result missed 30 Rock, The Office, Grey's and whatever other show is back on. Ugly Betty? I don't know. DISS.)

So ANYWAYS, we went to the video store and were pretty excited about watching Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. We got home, cooked dinner, ate dinner... and when Tracy went to put the movie in she looked at the case with a puzzled look on her face.

"What the? We did NOT rent this movie... NO..."

What we rented was not Walk Hard. What we rented was Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. It is a fantastic high budget thriller about reality show contestants being killed by a family of inbred cannibals. High quality, indeed.

After laughing about it for a good solid 20 mins we found ourselves back at the video store explaining to the clerk that while we appreciate fine cinema such as this, it really wasn't what we were looking for. Good times indeed.

On a side note, Walk Hard was pretty friggin funny. I nearly cried during the Beatles scene. Paul Rudd is the shizz.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Alternative ways to express your indifference about other people's awesome vacations.

Let me start off by explaining to you that I never go on vacation. This is not because I have anything against vacations. In fact, I kind of dig them. I would go so far as to say that they are awesome. It is mostly because I can't afford them. Working for peanuts does not make it easy to afford things... unless you work in the zoo and are buddies with the elephants who can hook you up with all kinds of shit on the cheap. (Peanuts are the currency of choice in the zoo.)

ANYWAYS, due to my lack of vacationing I am always a little bitter when I have to hear people talk about their awesome vacations. I have a standard reply for these occasions. It's kind of a one-size-fits-all reply. It works for everything! Or so I thought. Here are some examples:

(Last year) Angus: "I'm going to Mexico!"
Me: "Mexico, Schmexico!"

(A week ago) Craig: "I'm going to Vegas!"
Me: "Vegas, Schmegas!"

(Last year) Lydia: "I'm going to Europe!"
Me: "Europe, Schmurope!"

However, today I ran into a problem.

Angus: "I'm going to Hawaii!"
Me: "Hawaii, schm - oh shit! That doesn't work!"

What the hell am I supposed to say about Hawaii??? If you are aware of any really sucky things about Hawaii, please share them with me so that I may bring something to the table. It would be helpful if some sort of rhyme was involved.

For now, I guess I am going to have to go with "Hawaii? Meh. You haven't lived until you've been to the majestic farming communities of Northern Idaho."

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Earth Day!

I feel like a jerk because it is Earth Day and I have spent the entire day in the office in front of this energy sucking computer.

I am sorry, Dr. Suzuki. I'm not going to lie to you.

After work I fully intend to drive my fuel efficient car to the grocery store so that I may purchase foods that were shipped in from California. Then I will take those foods and prepare them on my electric stove top, thereby sucking up more energy. I'm also going to watch television. But I'll totally turn the lights off when I do that last one. Also, I took out the recycling this morning, and bought a new Sigg water bottle. Plus I am going to reduce carbon emissions for 10 seconds by holding my breath.

Are we still cool? I hope so. I love you.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Born to Run...walk...run...walk...run.

To give you an idea of how the Sun Run went today, I will share with you what my horoscope said today (though I didn't read it before I left, so this is funny):

Dear Sarah,
Here is your horoscope for Sunday, April 20:

You need to slow down and let your instinct guide you more than ever. They aren't infallible, of course, but they should steer you clear of one or two sketchy situations that won't work out.

Ummmm... YEAH. Translated literally, that means, "When you feel that sharp pain in your side and if feels like you are being stabbed in the abdomen, stop and walk for little while." Which is pretty much how THAT went. But this is what I expected, since I did so little training. But I finished it, and managed to run more than half of the race! Woohoo!

Aaaaaannnnnnnddddd now I hurt. Man is that Robaxacet going to feel good later.

Friday, April 18, 2008

It's the freakin' weekend, baby... meh.

So you know how most of the time when Friday comes along you are all, "Wooooo! It's Friday! Woooo! It's the weekend!"? Today I am not like that. The thought of what is due to happen upon me finishing work today is making me feel ill. And I mean ill as in sick... and I mean sick as in the throw up way, not the "Dude, that's sick!" way.

The Sun Run is on Sunday... and I am completely not enthused about it. It is like I held a brainstorming session about what I could subject myself to that would make me feel completely miserable... and this was the big winner. BARF. I am going for a training run in about 30 mins with some ladies from work... and while I enjoy their company greatly, I do not enjoy this running business anymore. NOT. AT. ALL.

Ugh. I do enjoy the fact that upon reaching 4:30pm this afternoon it means I do not have to work for the next 2 days... but overall I am still not looking forward to it. Allow me to use a metaphor to further illustrate this point:

It is like someone just gave me $20 for no reason, and I'm all "SWEEEET!"... and then they hit me in the face with a giant piece of lumber and now I'm all "Well, THAT sucked."

Yes. It is just like that.


It was not so bad running after work. It was kind of nice. I am a big baby. Also, I just looked out my window and there is some major blizzard action going on out there. WTF? This shit is crazy! Only David Suzuki can save us now...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I should write this on my hand.

I drove to work today because I had to go somewhere before work and I decided it would be easier and faster to just drive straight to work. This is not something I regularly do. I'm a bus/walk kind of girl. I am also very forgetful.

So basically what I am getting at, is that the fear that I will accidentally forget my car in the parking garage across the street and take the bus home is a valid one. There have been 4 occasions already when I have been thinking about which bus I am going to take home, and then suddenly think, "OMG, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT MY CAR!"

I should probably get some memory improving flash cards or something, huh?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Look out, world!

Everything is about to change. EVERYTHING. And all because of one truly excellent decision I made yesterday in the midst of a fit of excitement.

Remember how a really long time ago I wrote about my deep desire to own a pair of Chanel glasses?


That's right. I did it. Yesterday, upon learning that my ever so stylish lil' sister had thrown down $400 for a pair of Dior glasses, I decided it was my time. After searching all over Metrotown and trying on a million pairs I finally found them. I found the glasses that will change my life.

Well, hello there. Aren't you fabulous!

I'm going to pick them up sometime this week. I can't WAIT! I will probably get a promotion right after I walk in the door wearing these lovelies. How could I not? I will look so official and powerful. It is going to be awesome.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Trouble is brewing... courtesy of Starbucks.

Being that I am a little tired this morning, I decided to buy myself a coffee this morning. So the dude is making my Americano Misto and he looks up and asks me the craziest question ever:

"Do you want an extra shot with that?"

The only thought that runs through my head at this point is "IT'S FREEEEEEEE!"

So I said yes. And now my head will probably explode before I even get to the bottom of the cup. WHAT WAS I THINKING???

That is 2 cups. In one drink. It's INSANE.

I'm so going to get the caffeine shakes. And the crazy eyes. (I've got hydrogen psychosis!)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Gimme Gimme Gimme!

I am pretty sure that it is my civic duty to share this with you. I'm not putting the video up right here because I want to keep you in suspense for as long as possible. Just trust me when I say it is worth watching.

And no, I will not apologize for getting this song stuck in your head. It will probably be in there for the next 4 - 7 days... and you will love every minute of it.

Speaking of songs that get stuck in your head... I am going to see Mamma Mia tonight! It is going to be pretty fantastic. I hope my theatre buddies enjoy hearing the sweet sounds of my singing voice, cause once it starts I am unlikely to shut up. This is the one time when knowing all the words to ABBA songs is going to make me seem cool. (I know what you are thinking. "THE ONE TIME???" I know. I agree. Knowing the words to ABBA songs makes you seem cool ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.)

Monday, April 07, 2008

Rock the vote?

Oh, lord.

Apparently Heidi from The Hills is endorsing John McCain in the upcoming election. When I read that, I thought to myself, "OF COURSE! OF COURSE SHE IS A REPUBLICAN!" It all makes sense now.

What does not make sense, however, is that when McCain found out about the endorsement he was all, "Girl, I LOOOOOOOOVE The Hills! I never miss an episode! Heidi is #1!"

Great. Like I needed ANOTHER reason to feel bad about watching this show. I'll feel so dirty watching it and knowing that John McCain is sitting in a hotel room somewhere watching the same thing as me.

Apparently he did not get the memo about how when you are a 71 year old man saying that you watch The Hills makes you sound more "pervy" than "cool". Ew. Ew, ew, EW!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Weekend TV is the best.

Well, this is embarrassing. But I need to talk about it. It is the only way to figure this out.

I need some sort of explanation as to why the hell I am watching a Dateline special about Britney Spears.

I'm just gonna go right ahead and blame society for this one.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

You can't start a fire without a spark.

<--- He is totally a spark! Dude shows up and suddenly everyone is all "Sweet Jesus, everything is on fire!" Seriously. On fire. Always.

Awwww yeah.

I don't know if there is really even much point in me telling you how friggin amazing this show was. Even if I rambled on about it for hours I still don't think you could possibly understand how great it was.

I was SO excited when I got there... and even MORE so when I saw where my seats were! I was 4th row right beside the stage... but since the section I was in didn't actually have a row 1, technically it was 3 rows up. So there. ANYWAYS... it was incredible. Bruce was like, 10 feet away from me on more than one occasion. The first time it happened I squealed like a total girl (as I am one...) and I think my mind exploded. He's just that friggin cool. Proof of that extreme level of coolness is that he is nearly 60 years old and the sight of him twirling around the mic stand with stripper moves did not creep me out at all. In fact, it was kind of the hotness. I am not ashamed to say that.

There's just something about screaming "Born to Run" at the top of your lungs with several thousand others that makes my heart smile. I only wish I could do it every day. (Also fun: yelling "BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE!" Go ahead, try it.)

*sigh* I just love him to bits. Totally made it into my top 5!

PS: I feel obligated to mention my minor celebrity sighting. I spotted Hayden Panettiere from Heroes on the floor in front at the end of the show. She has magical celebrity hair that curls oh-so-perfectly. I don't think she knew the words she was trying to sing along to, though. I don't judge. (As if I've never done that.)