Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Alternative ways to express your indifference about other people's awesome vacations.

Let me start off by explaining to you that I never go on vacation. This is not because I have anything against vacations. In fact, I kind of dig them. I would go so far as to say that they are awesome. It is mostly because I can't afford them. Working for peanuts does not make it easy to afford things... unless you work in the zoo and are buddies with the elephants who can hook you up with all kinds of shit on the cheap. (Peanuts are the currency of choice in the zoo.)

ANYWAYS, due to my lack of vacationing I am always a little bitter when I have to hear people talk about their awesome vacations. I have a standard reply for these occasions. It's kind of a one-size-fits-all reply. It works for everything! Or so I thought. Here are some examples:

(Last year) Angus: "I'm going to Mexico!"
Me: "Mexico, Schmexico!"

(A week ago) Craig: "I'm going to Vegas!"
Me: "Vegas, Schmegas!"

(Last year) Lydia: "I'm going to Europe!"
Me: "Europe, Schmurope!"

However, today I ran into a problem.

Angus: "I'm going to Hawaii!"
Me: "Hawaii, schm - oh shit! That doesn't work!"

What the hell am I supposed to say about Hawaii??? If you are aware of any really sucky things about Hawaii, please share them with me so that I may bring something to the table. It would be helpful if some sort of rhyme was involved.

For now, I guess I am going to have to go with "Hawaii? Meh. You haven't lived until you've been to the majestic farming communities of Northern Idaho."

1 comment:

Lydia said...

Well, they do have volcanoes. And eat a lot of spam. You should just find a bargain and go somewhere...