Wednesday, October 31, 2007

If Bob Barker had been there, I'd have attacked him too.

This was me at work today:


And I didn't even win anything! But trust me, it was still VERY exciting.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lights! Camera! Spandex!

In the year 1990, I was but 9 years of age. That did not stop me from knowing the difference between awesome and lame. Had I ever seen this in 1990, I would have thought, "AWESOME!" and I would have been 100% correct.

I am fully aware that there is probably only one other person out there who will watch this and have the same kind of freak out that I just did when I saw it. (I think you know who you are!) If this doesn't fill you with glee, then I don't know WHAT will. It's just that fantastic.

The song! The dancing! The incredibly tight spandex unitard hotpants! Wow.

If anyone is ever up for a Erasure concert, you just let me know. I am SO there.

I think I need to track down an mp3 of this. The morning commute will become totally awesome.

Monday, October 29, 2007

26 or 62? You be the judge.

If what they say is true about people becoming increasingly ornery as they age, then boy is my family in trouble as the years go on. I don't think I'm old enough to be this cantankerous.

Do you know anyone who irritates you SO MUCH that the mere sound of their voice is enough to cause you to tense up immediately? Maybe also causes your hands to form tight fists without you knowing it? I do.


Just this morning I heard said voice and my whole body tensed up. As I listened, my jaw started to hurt a little... BECAUSE I HAD BEEN CLENCHING MY TEETH REALLY HARD FOR 5 MINS WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING. Upon realising this, I looked up with mean squinty eyes and thought to myself, "I would rather listen to the Eagles sing Desperado for 3 hours straight than to hear you speak for 5 mins... and I really fucking hate when the Eagles sing Desperado."

AND considering that those jerks are putting out a new album, I don't see how my stress level could possibly go down any time soon. GAH!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I've made a huge mistake.

In anticipation of staying up late at Odd Ball I went ahead and drank 2 cups of coffee... way the heck after my self-imposed cut off time of noon. In fact, this was done at 5pm and 7pm. It seemed like a great idea at the time.

However, around 11:30pm it really seemed to be wearing off. Maybe the dancing had made me tired? My eyes were seriously starting to rebel against the contact lenses I was wearing, so I jumped ship early and headed home.

Now I'm sitting here, yawning my face off at 1:20am, yet I still can't manage to go to bed. But I'm really tired. I really should have known better than to caffeinate with such reckless abandon.

I've made a huge mistake.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

It's like that dream where you go to work naked...

I'm on hold with the bank right now. There is something so creepy about sitting here listening to Rod Stewart on the "on hold" music while someone is on the other end of the phone looking at your entire financial history. Not that there's anything horrifically bad in there, but still. It's kind of private!

Obviously I gave them my permission... but it still feels weird!

Friday, October 26, 2007

It's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun.

This weekend is going to be awesome. AWESOME, I SAY!

Tonight is a Guitar Hero party with my rad posse from work. I have been rocking out all week in preparation.

Tomorrow is Odd Ball! I had so much fun at the last one that I can't WAIT for this one! I think I am going to go as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. Yeah. I know. I'm cool. I just happen to own a pair of black shorts is all.

All of this excitement will be accompanied by an amazing soundtrack. One of my wicked awesome co-workers loaned me a 3 cd box set "The Clash on Broadway", which is essentially the entire Clash collection. Quite frankly, I'm over the moon about it! I can't wait to listen to the WHOLE THING. Which I will then follow up with a 5 disc box set of The Jam. This includes a cover of Curtis Mayfield's "Move on Up". HELLO! AWESOME MUCH?

Here, watch this. It is a bunch of rockers, totally rocking out. I love it.

I think I miss 1982. Like, a lot. *sigh*

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Dear Sarah,

Your Single's Love Horoscope for October 24, 2007:

You're totally hilarious, and your personality's on fire today. The stars bless you with a knack for finding humor in the most bizarre situations. And guess what? Everyone's listening, especially that curious cutie.

Again, I think it meant to say "Dear Sarah, Here is your single's love horoscope for PRETTY MUCH EVERY DAY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

HAHAHAHA! See? It is already true because you just laughed at that.

These things are really good at telling you what you already know.

Thanks for the heads up.

Look what I found in my inbox this morning!

Dear Sarah,

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, October 24:

Your emotional nature is dominant today and you are that much closer to flying off the handle. Make sure that you avoid stressful situations and do your best to remain calm when you're provoked.

Ummmm, thanks tips. I think it was supposed to say, "Dear Sarah, Here is your horoscope for EVERY DAY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Anti-Sarah.

When one is a teenager, the number one cause of parental concern is when a kid up and dyes their hair dark.

Well, bitches better look out cause I just did that!

Ahhh, but don't worry. This is not a cry for help. I was only trying to colour coordinate. Now my hair matches my soul perfectly.

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Cold, rainy, stormy days like today make me realize just how much I love one particular group of friends of mine. Without their warmness and softness, I would be ever so cold and miserable. I love you guys. This one's for you!

I love you SWEAAAAAAATSHIRT. I don't have a red one at the moment, but I really do love my purple one. I love ALL of them. *sigh*

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

We heart coffee.

This morning I stopped in at Starbucks on my way to work to grab a London Fog (or earl grey tea misto with vanilla as they like to call it). Despite my desire to be able say that I hate it there because it's so corporate and uniform, I really can't. Because I kind of love it there. It is kind of nice to be able to be anywhere in the city and be able to get the exact drink you want, whenever you want it.

As I was sipping my tea at my desk, I decided to learn a little more about them. According to the wikipedia article, Vancouver has the most Starbucks locations than anywhere in the world. This didn't really seem shocking to me, because I know we seem to have a LOT of them around... but I was curious to see how many. So using the location finder on the Starbucks Canada website and typing in only "Vancouver, BC" as the location, I was actually kind of amazed at the number that popped up.

84. There are 84 Starbucks stores in this city alone. I'm only talking about Vancouver proper. This isn't even taking into account all of the stores in nearby cities like Burnaby, Richmond, North Van, etc. Within the borders of actual Vancouver there are 84 possible places for you to grab your favourite latte. (Actually, there are even MORE because that is not counting all those little ones inside Safeway!) That is slightly insane.

Just in the neighborhood I work in, there are 4 of them not too far apart. There's one at City Square, another one at Broadway and Heather, another one down the hill on 6th near Heather, and ANOTHER one on 2nd and Yukon! It's bananas! What I don't understand is WHY there are so many. Is it because they are greedy or because WE are incredibly lazy? Probably both. The good news is that if they continue to expand, we may never hear conversations such as this ever again:

Guy: "There's a Starbucks across the street. Let's go get a coffee."
Other Guy: "Jesus, we have to cross the street? UGH."

No wonder people make fun of this place. We are kind of ridiculous.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Like I really needed another reason to love Denis Leary...

So I'm watching Rescue Me, and who happened to just pop up on the show? AMY SEDARIS! She's so friggin hilarious. If you don't watch the show, this is yet another reason why you totally should. Awesome.

Curling - it rocks the house. Heh. Get it? Rocks the house? Heh.

Tonight, I curl. And for those who laugh about curling, may I present to you this.... concrete proof that curling is friggin awesome and totally not for 80's style nerds:

You know that in 1895 those bitches were the coolest cats in Manitoba. And that part about drinking beer afterwards? Totally true.

There goes the neighborhood.

I was 7 years old when my parents decided to sell our house in a shady neighborhood in East Van and move on to greener pastures. They wanted to raise us in a safer kind of place... so we moved to Surrey. (Ha!)

For the next several years they had to defend their choice to friends and relatives. "It's not like we live in Whalley..." That was kind of true. Our neighborhood was pretty nice and safe. Full of lots of families and not too many vagrants. However, as I got older I noticed that the Whalley grossness was slowly moving closer to us. It was big news around town the first time a hobo showed up in front of the Superstore. We never really had to deal with crime in the area or anything like that.

So it is kind of crazy that 19 years after making the move out to Surrey, it has finally happened: somebody stole my Dad's car!

I don't think he really cares all that much. I bet he's already been looking for a new car! Everybody wins, I guess.

Oh, Surrey. You are just so crazy sometimes.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Lazy = awesome.

Today is Sunday, otherwise known as the day that I visit my parents and do laundry. Since I saw them yesterday I'm not going out there to visit. That still leaves me with laundry to do though. Meh. I keep looking at the heap of clothes sitting on my floor that are begging me to wash them... and I really don't feel like doing it. But I will. Because I don't want to wear ugly pants to work all week.

So far this day has been great. It's nearly 2pm and I am still in my jammies. I've watched 2 episodes of the Sopranos, and eaten lunch.

I friggin love Sunday. It is the one day of the week where it is deemed as acceptable to be a complete lazy ass. Heck yeah! But I really must be going now. I should really get dressed, seeing as it is so late. I'm so wearing sweatpants. HA!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Laaaa la la la la wait till I get my money right...

IF my money was right at this very moment in time I'd whip on over to the Ticketmaster website and buy me some friggin Kanye tickets. KANYE! Oh how I would LOVE to see that show. I love him. And would love to be that annoying girl who has the seats in front of you and blocks your sight lines because she won't stop busting out all those kickass dance moves which all involve complex arm movements.

Yeah. You know you'd love it too.

I would wear a gold chain with HUGE gold pendants hanging off of it. And maybe a hat. And pink eyeshadow.

IF my money was right.

Instead I'll probably just stay home and wear sweatpants. But on the bright side, I now have a new theme song to sing whenever I get home:

"laaaa la la la wait till I get my sweatpants on..."

Thursday, October 11, 2007

So close, yet so frickin' far...

This morning I had wicked good bus karma. When I got to the first bus stop, I only had to wait a few mins before the bus came. When it got there, it was totally empty so I got a seat. Score! That almost never happens. It was awesome. Then when I got off the bus at Cambie, I managed to cross the street just in time to hop right on my second bus... which also had plenty of seating! Double score! Normally the Cambie bus fills up pretty quick, so by the time you get to 18th, you are packed in there like sardines... but not today.

The bus pulled up to a stop with a line of people at it. The doors opened and the second person to step on the bus just happened to be the most adorable boy I have ever seen. I call him my bus crush. I can never talk to him because the bus is always so full that when I am at the back, he is at the front. But not today. As soon as he stepped on the bus I looked around and grinned when I noticed that the seat next to me was empty. I looked up and watched as he walked towards the back of the bus... and sat down... RIGHT BESIDE ME!

I started to freak out a little. This beautiful boy is sitting beside me. His arm is touching my arm. How do I look? I'm wearing a hat. Everyone seems to think the hat looks cute on me, so this is good. I finally compose myself and decide to say something. Anything. I have to say something. I turn around with a smile on my face prepared to ask some asinine observation about public transit when I notice that he is wearing an iPod. An iPod. How is he ever going to fall in love with me if he never talks to me because of that damn iPod???

I made some sort of scrunched up face and turned back around. Instead of moping about it like I normally would I smiled again. Why? Because his arm is touching my arm... and I still have 2 stops left before I have to get off the bus. *sigh*

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

What a FOOL believes... (is that Michael McDonald is awesome.)

I think Paul Rudd really had a point in 40 Year Old Virgin... is it really necessary to play so much Michael McDonald in the workplace?

Something tells me that no, it is not necessary at all.


Monday, October 08, 2007

Holiday math.

This mulitplied by 2:

equals: I think I'm going to throw up.

Man alive.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Tell me something I DON'T know...

Okay, seriously. How shitty is Nickelback???

I think Def Leppard should sue them for effing up the Google search results for "photograph lyrics". Because let's be honest... as if this:

 any comparision to the supreme awesomeness that is this:

I think Nickelback may slowly become the new Aaron Neville. That's unfortunate for them, because there is a slight chance that I could totally run into Chad Kroeger when I am downtown shopping for jeans in the ladies section. Then I would have to kill him. Too bad for that guy!

Monday, October 01, 2007

"That's Andrea, the office bitch."

Today whilst at a work related event where drinking is encouraged (and paid for... yes, I get those.) I had at least three people make the same comment to me. It struck me as slightly odd. Here is what they said:

"Sarah? Get mad? Be angry? I can never imagine that happening!"

The first time I responded with, "Wow. Do I never talk to you at work? Cause I am always pissed off. Like, seriously all the time."

"Really? I never see it. You always look happy and seem to be in a good mood."

"Wow, I must hide it REALLY well, cause I'm effing MISERABLE."

Then they all laughed... because I am hilarious.

I kind of thought that I had been making it pretty obvious how pissed I was. Oh well. The awesome thing I learned here is that people seem to think I'm rather pleasant and nice. So when I blindside them with my cruel manipulations and evil schemes it will be so much more enjoyable... because they will have never seen it coming. MUAHAHAHHA!

PS: Here is a hilarious random quote I overheard at some point in my day, said by a lady:

"I hate that guy. I'd like to pull his scrotum up over his head. That'll teach him."

Wow. Graphic. I'd never even say that.


It has been about two full weeks since I first changed my email notification sound on my work computer to this.

And it still makes me laugh my head off EVERY TIME.

Seriously. I get a lot of emails, people. A lot.