Wednesday, November 02, 2011

So it begins.

The time change hasn't even happened yet and I'm already feeling it, you guys. This happens every year. About a week before, I'll be sitting there when I'll suddenly feel like it is time for bed. Then I'll look at the clock and see that it's only 8pm and I'll be like, "UGHHH I HAVE TO STAY UP FOR SO MANY HOURS STILL. BEING 90 IS SO DIFFICULT." You know, because I'm actually 90. I've fooled you this entire time! Suckers.

ANYWAYS, this keeps happening throughout the week until the day it actually happens, at which point I am trying to go to bed at 4:30pm. But then the clock change finally happens and I wake up feeling HORRIBLE because I lost an hour of precious sleep. The first day is sort of okay, but it just seems to go downhill rapidly from that point. By the end of the week, I am basically a zombie. I am only capable of communicating in grunts and anything you say to me will cause me to either laugh hysterically or cry. There is no in-between. Just laugh or cry. Then suddenly it's the weekend again, so I sleep for like 12 years and I'm good to go.

It's going to be a pretty great two weeks, yo.

**EDIT** It has been pointed out that we actually gain an hour of sleep this time. I knew that, I think. Either way, this shifting of time makes my brain very confused! I'm still all messed up, whether we gain or lose an hour of sleep. You shouldn't be able to just move time like that. It's reckless!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Pancakey goodness.

Lately, all I ever want to eat for dinner is pancakes. Is that weird? As a grownup, I understand that I can't really eat pancakes for dinner every night. Well, I could, but I shouldn't. Is there any way I could do this while still actually getting some legit nutrients? Like, what if I ate my pancakes with a side of broccoli? Would that make it better? It sort of seems like that would make it even more weird. 

Eating pancakes every day would be living the dream. The dream of a five year old who is a GENIUS.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Everything's coming up Milhouse!

So I think I'm Milhouse. 

I'm serious! Stupid crap keeps happening to me, but then there's always some tiny positive thing to laugh about. Just like Milhouse. 

I lost my job, but then got to go on vacation for the first time in forever. I moved back home but then realized that meant my mom would cook for me. I finally got a job, but then my hours got cut, giving me 4 day weekends for the entire summer. My roommate is moving out, but still paying rent until the end of the year which means I have a few months to hang out in my underpants. 

Also, I get injured a lot. See? Milhouse! 

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

30. It's not so bad.

So, yeah. I totally turned 30. You know what? It wasn't bad at all.

I was having a chat about being in your 30s last night with a new friend, and we both agreed that 30 is so much better than 20. Sure, when you're 20 you get to mess around and have relatively few responsibilities. I mean, I had fun when I was 20, but it was also kind of crazy. When you're 20 you make lots of mistakes. By the time you're 30, you've learned how to avoid making most of those mistakes again.

When you're 30, you know what qualities you appreciate in others and can easily spot those qualities in people. You waste a lot less time on people who don't have any of the things you like in a person. You know so much more about how you react in certain situations. You have a better understanding of where you fit into the world. You can find your people and your places more easily. Your choices are more informed because most of the time you actually have past experiences to draw upon for reference.

Yeah, maybe my back problems are getting worse, but it's okay. I'm having a pretty great time being 30. (Though maybe you should ask me about this again in 6 months. I've only been 30 for about 2 weeks.)

Monday, July 04, 2011

Summer. It's kind of difficult.

I have mixed feelings about summer. I mean, I like the sunshine and all. But why does it have to be so damn HOT? Ugh. I am not lucky enough to be part of the percentage of the population who are in possession of those magical sweat glands that allow you to just walk around in moderate heat without melting into a puddle. No, I am a Sweaty Betty. I sweat all the damn time and it is NOT CUTE. My hair gets flat, my makeup melts off... it's just a bad scene, yo. I prefer cooler sunny days. The kind where you can get by with a light sweater and jeans.

In addition to being a sweaty mess, I am also terribly pale. My skin is pretty white, you guys. For someone like me, sunshine bespells doom. When I go outside, I prefer to be covered up. Pants, long sleeved sweater, light scarf. It protects me from the evils of UV rays and shit. But nooooo, when summer is here, I can't do that. It's just WAY too hot dress like that, so I have to wear summer clothes. Exposed shoulders! Bare legs! Trust me, that's not good for anyone. My legs are so white you can't look directly at them. This means I have to add another step to the process of getting ready, as I cover myself in SPF a million so I can go outside without burning my epidermis. It's kind of bullshit. I like it when I can just put it on my face (as I do every day) and cover the rest of me with clothing. It's just so much easier.

Summer is a lot of trouble, sometimes.

Thursday, June 09, 2011


"I don't know. I'm just not mechanically inclined, okay?"

She said this as she tried to pull open the door that actually pushes open. Man, how did I go so long without working in an office? Comedy goldmine, I tell you.

Monday, May 30, 2011


Hello, friends. I am writing to you from my phone, because my computer has just died. Yes, it finally bit it. Had this happened two weeks ago, I would have been overjoyed and run out to the Apple store to replace it STAT. But today is different.

You see, my hours have been cut at work. At the end of the week I'm moving to part time. It's only temporary, but I'm not sure how temporary. So it's not the best time to be dropping big coin on a new computer. Crappy timing, to say the least. But that's how things go, I suppose.

I'm hoping to be able to get it fixed at the end of the week. As long as it lasts until I'm back full time, I'll be fine with it.

Life is pretty fun, huh?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, May 02, 2011

Election night fever!

Haha, get it? Fever? Because the results are making me sick! Haha!

I just moved into my new place yesterday, which means I don't have cable or Internet yet. So I'm sitting in my room refreshing Twitter every 3 seconds on my phone. I really think this has been the most stressful election night ever in time.

I'm trying to be optimistic about this, but it's so hard. There's a reason this election was called in the first place, and it pains me to see so many people ignoring that and voting for Mr. Harper anyways. It's just sad.

Le sigh.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


When you call me and I don't answer, you get my voicemail message. The message that clearly says you have reached SARAH and if you want to talk to SARAH you should leave SARAH a message. (Okay fine, so it doesn't actually say SARAH that many times. But it is clear that you are talking to SARAH.)

So why, Simon-from-the-mortgage-company, do you keep leaving messages for NICHOLAS about his mortgage when you know you are leaving a message on SARAH's voicemail? I mean, okay. The first time, maybe. But after not getting a return phone call after the 2nd message, why did you keep doing it? At that point, it should have been obvious that this was not NICHOLAS's number. It should have also probably crossed your mind that perhaps after you left the 7th message, SARAH was starting to get a little annoyed with you.

You called again today. You hung up after the voicemail message. I hope this means you have finally figured it out. IDIOT.

p.s. Yes. I know I could have called him back and told him to stop calling me, but that shit was long-distance.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Ugh, cherry!

There is nothing funnier than watching someone use the map to navigate a box of chocolates, only to end up with the gross cherry one anyway. SICK.


Thursday, April 07, 2011

Wing? Sprinter?

It's possibly the most annoying time of year. That first bit of spring where it's still SO COLD in the morning but then it warms up later in the day. You're itching to wear your spring clothes, but that means walking to the bus in ballet flats and freezing your little toesies off because it's only 4 degrees. If you err on the side of caution and dress for the cold bit, then you're hauling around a wool coat at the end of the day when it's too warm to wear it. It is the worst!

Just hurry up already, spring!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I have rules. Phone rules.

I've had a mobile phone for about 10 years. I like it. It's handy to be able to give someone a ring whenever I need to. The problem with having a mobile phone though, is that everyone else has them too, and they seem to be under the impression that because I own one, they should be able to reach me all the time.

But they can't.

You see, I have my own set of rules. I am not bound by my phone. If you call me and I'm in the middle of something, I won't answer. If you text me, I don't feel obligated to respond within 30 seconds. I've been known to come home from work and place my phone in the charging dock upstairs and not look at it for the rest of the night. Sometimes I just straight up turn the thing off. I'm social on my schedule, yo. I also don't expect anyone else to drop everything and pay attention to me when I try to call or text. It's just how I roll.

I KNOW. This is practically unheard of. But hey. What can I say? I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

How I'm Going To Jumpstart My Musical Career

It's pretty easy, actually. When they turn on music in the office, (typically 90's rock music) I will turn on my music (hip hop) but with only one headphone in. Then I'll just wait for the mashups to happen.

Then BOOM! I'm famous.

Friday, March 04, 2011

when girls says "maybe we can hang out on the weekend"

Of all the search terms people have used to arrive at my blog, this one is my favourite.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, February 18, 2011

9 to 5

I've done it. I've made it through my first week of work. (Oh yeah. Did I tell you? I GOT A JOB.) The first week is always a little overwhelming, isn't it? You're just figuring out how things work and getting to know how everyone else likes to do things. And if you're like me and have been unemployed for nearly a year, you are also just trying to remember how to be a person who has a job. (So, wait. You're telling me I have to get up early and leave my house every day? Say whaaaaaaa?) It's a little overstimulating. Hence why I almost went to bed at 8pm on a Friday night.

Even though I have arrived at home every night this week feeling totally zapped of all energy, it has been awesome. Because that means I've spent all day putting my energy into writing and learning. And learning more. And revising the writing. And revising the writing again. And learning MORE more.

In short: I think this is going to be pretty awesome.

Monday, January 10, 2011

What??? I can't hear you!!!

I woke up this morning and my head felt funny. Like it was stuffed full of cotton balls. My ears were plugged up and my hearing is all wonky. Everything sounds muffled still. The last time this happened was a couple of years ago. I went to the doctor and can you guess what it was?

An ear infection. That's right. I'm a 29 years old and I still get ear infections. WHAT THE HECK?? You're supposed to outgrow them by the time you're a teenager, but not me. I'm fully committed to being the ear infection kid. Blerg.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go use my prescription nasal spray. Meerp.