Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Secret secret. I've got a secret.

Today I have some sort of secret job training thingy to go to at work. I have no idea what it will be, or where it is. They are really being hush hush about it. Keeping in on the DL.

I really hope it is like this:

And then on the way home, I hope it is like this:

Please, oh please, oh please, oh pleeeeeeeeaaaasssse. But it is probably just real actual job training.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Dear lord, please let me see a powerpoint presentation soon...

Man, people are going to think I'm so awesome when I use this harsh diss on someone in the next big meeting at work.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

How to drown out the sound of Celine Dion.

Method # 72:

Works like a charm... you're darn right you can rock out on a keytar!

Money money, it isn't funny... when you're living in the rich man's world.

I'm starting to feel a little bit of stress related to the possibility of moving. At first I was really excited... because who wouldn't want to live in a shiny new place? I do. I really really do. However, I am starting to realise that this really isn't going to work out the way I want it to. The problem is... money.

The bottom line is that I just don't make enough of it. Not nearly enough. I might as well get paid in actual peanuts... at least then I would always have food around. I have rent, car payments, insurance, cell phone, regular phone, cable and internet bills, visa and a student loan to pay off. And then I am still supposed to be able to eat afterwards. I suppose I can stop having fun altogether and never go out, never buy anything that is not edible and never eat at restaurants. Then I can afford to pay more in rent. That sounds like a pretty fun life, no?

I hate money. It gives me anxiety. If I am not careful, I might start getting anxiety attacks again. I really, really hate money. I guess now I just have to wait for my parents to win the lottery... because I certainly shouldn't be spending my precious pennies on lotto tickets. Grrrr.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Nerd alert, nerd alert!

If you have known me for any amount of time, you have probably discovered how much of a giant music nerd I am. Every music nerd has this one little particular genre that they are SERIOUSLY nerdy about. Not just "Oh, wow I like this song." but I mean, "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG! I REMEMBER WHEN THEY PLAYED THIS ON TOP OF THE POPS IN 1983!" I'm talking hardcore geekouts, yo.

For me, this genre is New Wave. I just can't get enough of it. (That was a subtle New Wave joke right there. You see? That is how nerdy I am. Are you starting to get it now?) I have this secret filing system in my brain that is able to categorize every New Wave hit I have ever heard. The other day at work a song came on the radio and I spazzed out. I suddenly blurted out, "OHMIGOD SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE!" Maybe you don't think this is weird... but the song came out in 1980, the year before I was born and they were never crazy popular here like Duran Duran or anything. So why the heck would I know that? Because I probably heard it once when I was 2 and I somehow retained that information. That is messed up.

Does anyone have a brain like mine? Does anyone else in my age group know and love Squeeze as much as I do? Cause if you do, I think we need to hang out. I'm tired of using my knowledge to impress the 40+ crowd at work.

Here's the song that sparked the geek out in question. It's so friggin' good.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Take THAT, Hallmark!

Any of you that have ever celebrated a birthday with me around are likely to have been a recipent of one of my awesome homemade greeting cards. I'm pretty sure that the whole reason people have birthdays is so that I can make them awesome cards. However, today the tables have turned! Here are the two homemade e-cards I got this morning at work...

This one is from David "Awesome" Track:

This one gets points for several reasons:

1) It is Harrison goddamn Ford.
2) It is Harrison goddamn Ford in a speedo.
3) This is basically the exact style of card that I make for everyone. I think it's the funniest thing ever.
4) Quote bubbles! Filled with hilarious things that the person obviously did not really say! (You really need to click on the pic to read the speech bubble. So worth it.)

Pretty awesome. Solid work, Tracker.

Then there was this little beauty, created by mixmaster Craig, the web MC:

Okay. There is a lot going on here, which is why it is so AWESOME. Craig really put some thought into this one... let's break down the points:
1) Symmetry between the "Sarah Rocks" and the photo of me throwing up the rock fist.
3) Birthday cake, which I totally love to eat. (How did he know that???)
4) Starbucks coffee. I make Craig go with me to get some pretty much every other morning.
5) The science beaker! I really, really love science. A lot. Maybe a little TOO much.

Plus, Angus made me a card that says "YOU'RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO DYING!!" on the front of it in kindergarden writing, and Amanda gave me a photo snowglobe with a picture of me making the most unflattering and hilarious face ever captured on film.
All in all, it has been an excellent day for creativity. Thanks, kids!

Happy Birthday, random celebrities!

All of these people are celebrating birthdays today...

These stars were all born on July 20:
Rockabilly singer Sleepy LaBeef is 72.
Actress Diana Rigg (The Avengers ) is 69.
Bassist John Lodge of the Moody Blues is 64.
Country singer T.G. Sheppard is 63.
Singer Kim Carnes is 61.
Guitarist Carlos Santana is 60.
Drummer Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols is 51.
Actress Donna Dixon (Bosom Buddies ) is 50.
Country singer Radney Foster is 48.
Singer Chris Cornell (of Audioslave and of Soundgarden) is 43.
Guitarist Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam is 41.
Actor Reed Diamond (Judging Amy,Homicide: Life on the Street ) is 40.
Actor Josh Holloway (Lost ) is 38.
Singer Vitamin C is 38.
Actor Simon Rex is 33.
Actor Charlie Korsmo (Can't Hardly Wait,Hook ) is 29.
Actor John Francis Daley (Freaks and Geeks ) is 22.
Actress Billi Bruno (According to Jim ) is 11.

So am I! Plus I am younger than pretty much all of them. Woot! Also... SLEEPY LABEEF???? Ummmm, best name EVER!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

26 is the new 45.

I know that 26 is a bit early for a midlife crisis, especially since I fully intend to live to the age of 135, but sometimes you just have to wonder...

Today at work they were listening to the Mom station, and when "Wind Beneath My Wings" came on, I started asking myself very important questions...

Mostly "My god... what have I done?" (TO DESERVE THIS??? Bette Midler is among the most severe forms of punishment used in this country in modern times, you know.)

But seriously... how did I get here?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Goodbye, cute city!

I may have mentioned before that I live underneath what is called "Cute City". Cute City is inhabited by a very nice mom, a very nice dad, a very cute baby girl and a very cute puppy dog.
It's pretty fun living there sometimes. Mostly when you come home from work all grumpy and whatnot... and you open the gate to be greeted by a baby and a puppy! Then you start talking in your high voice and totally forget about the fact that you were grumpy up until 5 seconds ago.

Hence why I am so sad about the fact that cute city is moving away!

That's right, friends. The landlords are moving away! I really don't know how to feel about it. We kind of wanted to move anyways so this actually works out better for us in a way... but it's kind of bittersweet. They are seriously the best landlords ever. Not many people would be willing to come downstairs in the middle of the night to kill a mouse. Or come downstairs at 6am for the same reason. Or give detailed explanations of the exact species of ant that has been spotted in the vicinity of the house. Or give you free lettuce from the garden... or give you 3 bottles of wine at Christmas to make up for the fact that in November of that year you were totally at home and trying to sleep when there was a baby being born in their bedroom upstairs.

They are moving in October and I think that it is probably likely that we will end up moving as well. It just wouldn't be the same, living there with new people. I guess we all have to move on sometime, don't we?

So farewell, cute city! Good luck, and I will miss your smiling baby and puppy kisses. (Oh, and you too, grown ups! You're alright, kids.)

Monday, July 16, 2007

Careful, he's a hugger!

My birthday is this weekend, so my parents are making me dinner on Friday. My mom likes to make dinner for everyone on their birthdays... it's just one of those things that we do. This year, some of my friends might be coming out there with me to eat my mom's yummy food and hang out. I felt compelled to warn them about something before they meet my dad:

"Just so you know... he really likes to hug. A lot."

My dad is a serious hugger. My whole family is, really. I've never really thought about it as being all that strange... when you grow up in a hugging family, you just sort of assume that this is normal behavior. I remember thinking it was really weird when I came across friends whose families didn't hug. In my house, there was rampant hugging! All of the time! Are you sad? You need a hug. Happy? That qualifies for a hug. My dog even loves to hug me. I'm just kind of used to it.

I've really been thinking a lot about this lately... which lead to my discovery of this video:

This guy is a busker from Montreal who is a serious hugger. My family does not hug as much as this dude does. But watching it made me think about some interesting things...

Which of my friends are huggers and which aren't? Do I have friends that I hug and some that I have never, ever hugged? It sort of seems weird to me that I could have people that I consider to be good friends of mine that I have never hugged before. Is it weird? Have you really cemented your friendship with someone if you have never hugged them before? I've hugged people that I've just met. Is it crazy to hug someone you barely know? Would you ever hug a stranger?

Hugging sure is complicated for something that seems so normal to me! So friends, tell me your thoughts on hugging. I'd love to hear them.

*internet hugs*

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Robbie Williams... aka King of the Bongo

Okay, so I was looking on Wikipedia for somethingorother and I ended up reading the Lily Allen entry. This is where I happened upon a most fascinating piece of information:

Allen provided backing vocals on the Basement Jaxx song "Lights Go Down" (from Crazy Itch Radio) and appears on tracks on Robbie Williams's latest album, Rudebox as example on the Manu Chao-cover "Bongo Bong And Je ne t'aime plus".

To which I responded with a loud "WHAAAAAAAAAT??????".

I read the sentence out loud to Lydia and she responded with a loud "WHAAAAAAAAT?????".

So I looked it up. And much to my surprise, I actually really liked it! I seriously thought it was going to suck harder than a Dyson (they never lose their suction, you know.) but it's pretty darn good!

There's no official music video for it yet, but you can watch this one for now, just so you can hear the song. Try not to dance around. I dare you!

He's just full of surprises, that one.

So close... yet so far away...

Frig, man. I put my name in a draw to win tickets to the Hip concert tonight and I TOTALLY LOST.

I guess I can just go home and stare at a wall... which is almost as awesome in the sense that is is totally NOT awesome AT ALL. So basically what I am saying here is that I didn't win and now I am grumpy to the extreme for real.

What a harsh diss on me! Mostly because the peeps that did win can totally afford to buy tickets... and I cannot, so it is an extra harsh diss because it reminds me of how I am ghetto poor. HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING!

Plus I did not see the cute boy on the bus this morning. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO SUCK?????

(PS: Being whiny and over dramatic is an excellent way to both make and keep friends!)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Dang, it's like George Clooney hot outside today...

On any other sunny summer day, I would be annoyed that I had to come into work and stay here for a good solid 8 hours.

But not today. Today I am glad to be here... because someone had the good sense to equip this building with air conditioning. *ahhhhhhhhhh*

The morning heat also forced me to make a way early trip to the Starbucks for an icy treat... and I discovered the wonders of an iced vanilla brewed coffee. As far as Starbucks goes, that shit is cheap. Only $2.50 for a grande! Plus I added skim milk, so it's not crazy bad for me. Excellent. Say hello to my new summer beverage.

This may be the first day in the history of my life as a working adult that I actually don't want to go home... I'm so not looking forward to the sweaty bus ride home. Yuck.

You are darn right, Mr. Poindexter. Darn right.


Okay, I just freaked myself out because up until 5 minutes ago I totally didn't realize that Buster Poindexter was actually David Johansen from the New York Dolls. No wonder he looked so familiar... this is just like the day I discovered that "Blinded by the Light" was a Springsteen cover. I feel like an idiot.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

And you can dance... for inspiration...

YESSSSS! Apparently, Debbie Harry can read my 5 year old mind. They are making Desperately Seeking Susan into a musical!

I LOVED watching this movie when I was little... mostly because I thought Madonna looked so rad in it. I still do! My favourite part is the club scene, when she is dancing to her own song... only it's not her song because she's not playing herself in the movie.

This musical is even crazier because it will be packed full of Blondie songs. I'll probably never get to see it, but this is one musical I would totally pay to see.

Yeah yeah yeah for giant bows and new wave dancing! (And for Aidan Quinn, who I think is kind of awesome.)

Monday, July 09, 2007

Whew! I feel so much better now...

This morning on the bus I saw a kid wearing a shirt that advertised the fact that he was on his way to physics camp at UBC. PHYSICS CAMP!!!!

Suddenly I don't feel so bad about spending so much time alphabetizing my CD's.

Heh. Physics camp...

Sunday, July 08, 2007


Today I partook in what is quite possibly the nerdiest activity I have in my repertoire of activities. I know how nerdy it really is, but I don't care because I LOVE doing it.

Every once in awhile I get bored and decide to rearrange my CD collection. I have a ton of them, because I have kept every CD I have ever bought/had given to me/"borrowed" from my Dad. I'm not going to lie to you. I had made a frigging mess of it lately. They were scattered all over the place, and completely devoid of any sort of classification system. I finally got pissed off today when I couldn't find my frigging copy of Midnite Vultures. So I went to town.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Just alphabetize that shit and get it over with. It is not so simple! This is the kind of thing one really needs to think about. I once organized them all in chronological order, according to time of purchase! Mind you, it was a much smaller collection back then so it was easier. Frig if I remember when I bought/swiped them from the campus radio station!

I decided to go alphabetical for now... which ended up being the easiest way... but also the most shameful.

There is a Bush album (Deconstructed... I HAVE THAT???) right beside my London Calling CD.

Don't worry. I'm going to go kick my own ass right now. Damn my 16 year old self!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

So imagine that you walk outside and you are standing in a meadow where there are fat little babies who just learned how to walk playing with puppies, bunnies, kittens, baby pandas and baby ducks. Cute, right? NOT AS CUTE AS THIS VIDEO.

A cute boy with a cute accent, singing a cute song WITH HIS EYES CLOSED while a video of frolicking baby animals plays in the background. It makes me melt.

It also makes me feel kind of pervy because he's only like, 20. But really, can you blame me? His name is Paulo Nutini and he's Scottish! It's such an awesome trick!

You can thank the flux capacitor for that one...

Conversation between slightly drunken friends on a Friday night:

DAVE: *blah blah blah, makes joke about someone's mom*

ME: (speaking in fake British accent, which is actually pretty good) "Oh, shut up you tosser."

DAVE: "Did you just call me a tosser?"

ME: "Indeed, I did."

DAVE: "HAHAHA! That's awesome. Oh wait... SHUT UP!"

(This carries on for bit.... 5 mins later...)

*Dave's mobile rings... his ringtone is "American Psycho" by Treble Charger*

ME: Ummmm... Dave, 1999 is calling, you'd better answer that!"

*Hysterical laughter and mad props courtesy of Amanda and Seth... and me.)

Damnit, I'm awesome.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Memory *mostly* full (of crap).

When I was little my brother and I used to watch a lot of TV together. It was pretty much the only time we didn't fight. Hence, a good number of my childhood memories are centred around the television. Some of them are pretty funny... and completely random. It makes me wonder why I remember them at all, since they were so weird and insignificant.

1) When I was 3 or 4 I was sick one day and couldn't go to preschool. I was pretty pissed off about having to stay in bed. My mom felt bad, so she brought our teeny tiny little black and white Grenada TV into my room, and we spent the morning watching scrambled up episodes of Mr. Dressup and Sesame Street. I'm pretty sure we got a 21 inch colour TV like 2 days later. I love my mom.

2) When I was 5 my brother and I were watching Magnum PI (I really liked the theme song) when he turned to me and said, "Magnum PI is a gaylord!". I'm pretty sure he didn't know exactly what that meant, because he turned around and started watching again. I wonder what my mom was thinking when I came up to her a few mins later and said, "Jason just called Magnum PI a gaylord! What does that mean?" (I think an appropriate answer would have been "BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!")

3) I loved watching Family Ties and thought that Alex P. Keaton was the coolest dude EVER. I loved him. I wanted to be like him. My hopes were crushed years later when I found out what a Republican was.

4) I used to watch Muchmusic ALLLLLLL day. This is where I discovered reruns of the Monkees! My mother came to regret exposing me to it after I saw the Christmas episode when Davy got knocked off a ladder, clung onto the Christmas tree and sent the whole thing falling over. Why did she regret it? Because I thought it was SO FUNNY that I had to replicate it by standing on the corner of the couch and falling onto the cushions like 70 times a day for years afterwards.

And now you can share the memories with me...

Heh. Nice shorts, gaylord. (Just kidding. I love Tom Selleck.)

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Who needs the Kwik E Mart?

I dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Last night Kelly was nice enough to drive Lydia and I out to Coquitlam (or the Coq, as I like to call it.) to visit the Kwik E Mart! I highly recommend checking it out, mainly for the sweet photo ops and the fact that there are like, 9 different flavors of Squishees. (Dr. Pepper AND Root Beer included! Yessssssssss!)

Check out Kelly's Flickr for more sweet photos of our adventure. Including one of the man the dudes outside in the lineup called "a real-life Apu". Actually, before he even said that, I was talking about how I was sort of worried that basically any person of Indian descent who happens to work at a 7-Eleven is probably about 100% more likely to get harrassed by drunk kids wanting them to say "Thank you, come again!" due to this whole promotion. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

IMG_1498.jpg Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson

Oh, Ralph.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

She's turning up the heat...

Karaoke party at my house! Good lord, did this make me laugh. I love Loverboy.

I've waited hours for this...


Holy crap, am I excited about this show. Lydia and I have AMAZING seats... row 15 at the corner section! I might cry a little. October 9th can not come fast enough. I am filled with glee right now. GLEE!