Yo! What's the haps? is pleased to present a story of an incredible Saturday night, told in two parts. Enjoy!
PART I: "How did I not know about this? It is the most amazing thing ever!"
SO... Amanda and I decided to head over to Granville Island Brewery to indulge in a taster round. It was totally awesome, because I discovered that they make CHOCOLATE BEER. YES, M-effers. I said CHOCOLATE BEER. It is delicious. You should probably try it. Yummmmmm.
PART II: "What the hell, man? How did I end up on the sidewalk?"
I still don't understand the answer to this, but whatevs, man. Whatevs. So here's the story. Upon leaving Sammy J's with Amanda and Platypus, I fell victim to a rogue tree branch in the middle of the sidewalk. I know what you are thinking. What the hell was a tree branch doing in the middle of the sidewalk on Granville Island? I DON'T KNOW. There aren't even any friggin' trees around there, yo! What the frig? So yeah. I was in mid sentence of what I'm sure was some hilarious anecdote when BOOM! suddenly I'm on the ground in some lame-o 1990's looking jazz dance pose. The hilarious part is that I didn't stop talking. It went like this: "Blah, blah, blah...*falling down occurs here* Holy crap, yo. I totally just fell down!" I sat there for a second, trying to assess the situation before I got up and walked away. I am still friggin' confused about how it happened. I think it is because a) I habitually drag my feet when I wear my snow boots and b) I had inner ear problems as a child.
So the moral of the story is, that sometimes you drink delicious Granville Island Lions Winter Ale and fall down afterwards, despite the fact that you are totally not even drunk like you were that one time when you screamed like an ambulance in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
What? You didn't do that? Me neither. I was just making that up... you know, to illustrate a point and whatnot. GOODNIGHT.
4 comments:
Funny how the falling down, which you did do, and the ambulance noise, which you claim not to have done, happened in the same place.
Coincidence? I think NOT!
So basically, the conclusion that can be reached here is that when you are around, I make a fool out of myself. This can be explained by science. What happens is, you send your idiot germs out into the atmosphere and I must breathe them in, therefore causing me to act COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER. Because it's not like I'm a complete spaz or anything.
Yes...erm..no...erm. Um. Yes, you are a complete spaz.
I know. But that's why the people love me. (And the people DO love me.) I bet your day will totally suck tomorrow, because I won't be there with my hilarious jokes and klutziness.
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