Thursday, August 30, 2007

I just called... to say... your song SUCKS.

I loves me some Stevie Wonder, let me tell you. Uptight is seriously an amazing song. Higher Ground? Forget it! So good! And Superstition... well, you know how effing awesome that song is. I don't even need to tell you. It is just one of those things that everybody in the world knows and accepts as fact. Stevie Wonder is kind of amazing. Except for that one error in judgement he made in 1984...

Or as it more commonly referred to as, "I Just Called to Say I Love You".

I know it was the 80's. Who didn't make questionable choices during that time? Republicans were everywhere, it was a very confusing time for all of us. But still. That's not really a good enough excuse for this.

I suppose the lyrics are kind of cute... they make you think of like... love and crap... but like maybe more like platonic love. Like how nice it is to just ring up your spinster great Aunt to tell her you love her (because lord knows she doesn't hear it that often). So I GUESS it is kind of nice... my problem isn't really with the lyrics. It is with the music.

Take away the vocal track. What do you have? A MIDI FILE. That is what this shit sounds like. It's bloody awful. Don't get me wrong, I love drum machines and synthesizers. But not like this. Maybe it would have been okay if he had used a guitar? Or an actual piano? Or a better melody? I don't know.

Every time I hear it, I try to convince myself that maybe it isn't total crap... maybe it is decent enough to be forgiven? But then you get to the end, which really just ruins any shred of credibility the song could have ever had... CHA CHA CHA! Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Stevie. Cha cha cha? You should have known better. You really should have known.


Top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go.
Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?


brie said...

You crack me up.

sarah said...

Thanks! I do try ever so hard. It's like some sort of complex, really...

The_Hanging_Fool said...

If you look at the album that song was released on. The women in red. He wrote that song for a movie soundtrack - he HAD to corn it out. I'd guess it took him an hour to lay down that track.