Last night I attended a funeral. A funeral for the youth of my friend, whom we shall call "The Dude". You see, he turned 30 this week, therefore causing his youth to perish.
It was the best funeral I've ever been to. (Even during the time St. Elmo's Fire was playing. WTF, dude?) His youth was eulogized in a hilarious fashion and I think he was sufficiently humiliated. And sufficiently drunk.
So, Dude... here's to your youth. May you remember it fondly... and perhaps actually start to grow up a little. Heck, I'm WAY younger than you are, and I've already started going to bed at a reasonable hour. Even on weekends. I KNOW, RIGHT????
Also, Happy Birthday! As promised, my gift to you is your VERY OWN BLOG POST!!!! I hope you enjoy it. You can even bookmark this bitch and look at it every day. It really is the gift that keeps on giving.
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