Dear microwave in the lunch room at work,
Why are you such a piece of crap? You've only been here for about a month, and already you are letting the team down with your laziness. I mean, seriously. Since when has it ever been okay to nap on the job? Don't get me wrong, I wish it were allowed... I'd do it myself! BUT IT IS NOT. So why you think that it is okay for you to just shut 'er down after 6 mins of heating up lunches is beyond me.
So listen up, microwave. I'm going to give you a chance, because you are new and all. But you should be aware of the fact that pretty much everyone here hates you and your lame excuse for a work ethic. So buck up! You can easily be replaced. (That one is INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH!)
I have to eat my lunch at 11:55 now because of you. I hate going downstairs at 11:55. I feel like I'm being cheated. You are a jerk.
Sincerely,
Sarah
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