Monday, March 12, 2007

War. HUH! What is it good for?


We have ants in our house and I am fed up. This morning I openly declared war on these little buggers. On my lunch break I wandered over to Canadian Tire to fetch some ant killing spray. I stood in the aisle for ages, staring at all the RAID. Every single can I picked up was all, "Hey, I'm totally poisonous, so keep pets out of the room for 1 hour after you use this shit."

I was suddenly involved in this super-intense internal struggle. Do I kill the ants for reals even if I could possibly poison Lydia's cats? Hmmm... I really do hate cats... and they will probably be okay... and I do REALLY hate ants... but what if it DOES poison the cats? Hmmm... I really am not a huge fan of the cats anyways... but the poisoning of said cats is probably the kind of thing that someone would hold against you for a really long time, even if it IS accidental... OH FINE, I WON'T GET THE POISON!

Rather annoyed, I decided that surely Capers would have something I could use... or at least a good suggestion. So I dragged my ass all the way up there in the crazy winds. Again, I stood in the cleaning aisle, searching for something... anything that would kill the ants! No luck. So then I asked a guy that works there about it. Here is what was said:

ME: "Do you guys have anything that might deter ants? Well, maybe not just deter, but actually KILL them? I want to kill some ants."

CAPERS GUY: "Ummm... no."

ME: "Oh, that sucks. I was hoping I might find something that wasn't poisonous, but I guess not."

CAPERS GUY: "So you have an ant problem?"

ME: "Ummm... yeah. I can't figure out how to get rid of them."

CAPERS GUY: "Oh, you know what you should do? Clean. Ants will live forever in a dirty house."

ME: *getting angry* "Yeah, THANKS."

CAPERS GUY: "Why do you need to kill them? Can't you just live with them? Why can't you just live with them?"

ME: "BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. Thanks for your help."

*grabbing a bottle of all purpose cleaner off the shelf and muttering to myself*
"Fucking hippies."

One way or another, I am going to kill those sons of bitches. Out of spite. In an environmentally friendly manner.

Put that in your hippie pipe and smoke it, CAPERS!


Lydia said...

I like how he insinuated you were DIRTY, and then you actually bought cleaner. Perpetuating the stereotype...

sarah said...

I bought it because I thought if I sprayed the stupid ants with something a other than vinegar they might not like it. There's absolutely no science behind that one. I just needed to pull a trigger!

Lisa said...

Unless it is set out otherwise in your rental/lease contract, it is your landlord's job to get rid of all pesky ants. Your landlords have to pay for the cost of getting rid of the ants and they have to come up with an effective way of getting rid of the ants. Whether or not that involves poisoning the cats is between you and them.