Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Emergency muffins, E-schmergency muffins!

I am a little creeped out by food that seems unnatural or is "brand new". Like when you are in the produce market and there is a sign that says "NEW! Pygmy Asparagus from Taiwan!"
That shit is freaky. There is some weird sort of sciencey business going on there. While I loves me some science, I don't know if I want to eat it.


Hence why I am so unwilling to embrace this new discovery, which comes to us courtesy of Angus:

















What is this, you ask? It looks like but a harmless cereal bar! (A concept which also took me awhile to get used to, btw.) No. It is not made of cereal. Apparently, this is some kind of crazy newfangled muffin!

WTF? Muffins are not muffins unless they are shaped like friggin muffins. That's like, the whole point of a muffin. You have your muffin TOP and your muffin BOTTOM. This muffin bar thing has no top nor bottom! It is a muffiny log. It freaks me out.

I tried one. It was weird. It has a muffin-like texture and muffin-like flavour... but it somehow does not taste muffiny. Not to mention the fact that there must be some really freaky preservatives in there to keep it from getting mouldy like regular baked goods are wont to do.

I am generally uncomfortable with the concept as a whole. It is NOT a muffin. Hence why I decided to call them "Emergency Muffins". Because I would only eat this in an emergency where I would not have access to a real muffin. If you should happen to come across one of these freakish bars, give it a try and let me know what you think. I wonder if anyone else will be as creeped out by these as I am... probably not. I'm kind of irrational about things like this.


PS: I don't think pygmy asparagus is real. I totally made it up. I checked google in case, but it really isn't there. Sorry if I got your hopes up, re: tiny asparagus.

1 comment:

Rimshot said...

Exactly what sort of emergency would require a muffin? I mean SPECIFICALLY a muffin as opposed to any other foodstuff.

Also, I am totally in agreement that BAR does not equal MUFFIN.