Sunday, March 05, 2006

Monday is coming? What? Shut the fuck up!

Sunday night, you are mean.

I just totally won the Oscar betting extravaganza OF THE CENTURY, (Lyds and I bet mini eggs and jelly beans on each category... I totally kicked ass. I have a sixth sense about awards shows. I know things. Things I am not supposed to know.) but instead of going out and celebrating ninja-style like I DESERVE to be, I am still at home. Why? Because tomorrow is Monday, and that is when I have to go to work again.

Damn you. I really wanted to party it up ninja-style. I don't exactly know what that means, but you can bet your ass that it's effing HARDCORE.

Almost as hardcore as it would have been if I had listened to the advice of a co-worker and told one of the dudes in sales that I was going to "punch him in the fucking throat" in response to being made fun of for blogging at work.

It was actually pretty funny. Funny for the following reasons:

a) When sales-dude was making fun of me, he made the typey fingers whenever he said the word "blogging".
b) I was actually given a tutorial on how to deliver the line "I'll punch you in the fucking throat." It included lessons on making menacing scruched up angry faces, and fist shaking.
c) The fact that everytime I tried to follow directions and make the faces and fist and the swearing, I got totally laughed at.
d) I'm starting to think that maybe the laughing at me was the whole point of the above exercize.


That just gave me an excellent idea. I'm going to propose that all our Monday morning meetings have themes. Tomorrow can be ninja-style. This is going to be awesome to the max times infinity!

Sometimes I even blow my OWN mind. Holy crap.

Why is there not a lineup of people at my door right now trying to get inside my fucking head?? I tell you, things are happening in there. Things are HAPPENING.

One more thing. Upstairs where my landlords live is cute city. They have a puppy AND a baby. Today I decided that I would like to make them a sign for their door. Here is what it would say:

"Welcome to Cute City. We have a puppy AND a baby. Jealous much?"

Then people will read it and say out loud, "Ummm... only about 97%!"

See you tomorrow for NINJA MONDAY!!!!


Anonymous said...

Hey who had the best dress?

sarah said...

That is an excellent question, sister.

I think Jennifer Aniston looked awesome.

As did Felicity Huffman.

Sandra Bullock's dress had pockets though, so hers gets three extra cool points from me and the Fonz.

There you have it.

Dave said...

I want to make it with Uma Thurman.