Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Personally, I'd be okay with a little less honesty.

One of the benefits of working with ladies that are nearly twice your age is that you get to listen to the mom radio stations while you work. Sometimes it's coo, like when they play Chicago or Abba, but let's face it... that practically never happens. Most of the time you end up with stuff like this:

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides


I used to think this song was kind of funny, but today I actually paid attention to some of the words. You know what I discovered? This song isn't funny at all. It's just plain pathetic.

Obviously, this Dan Hill dude knows nothing about picking up chicks.

I mean come on. Let's look at this a little closer.

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much

If he can't even handle the sheer amounts of honesty involved when coming into physical contact with his lady (and I'm thinking he only means hand holding at this point) then I think it's safe to say they are going to have some "relationship problems" not too far down the road. And by "relationship problems" maybe I mean "problems with relations". You know what I mean.

And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die

It sounds to me like he has some pretty heavy issues with intimacy. I mean... he wants to cuddle, which is nice... but until he dies? With his eyes closed? That shit is just friggin WEIRD. Or maybe this is just his way of saying he wants to kidnap his girlfriend.

I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

WTF? NOW HE IS CRYING? I don't have time for this shit, and I hope this little girlfriend of his doesn't either. After the bit about how he wants to hide, I would have probably been all, "Alright, this shit is getting a little too emo for me. If you start crying like a little bitch, I am SO out of here."

And that bit about the holding til the fear subsides? Child, he could not hold on long enough, because lord knows what HE is afraid of, but I am a little afraid of HIM.

I hope whomever he wrote this song for dumped his ass, moved and didn't leave a forwarding address. Cause you know he's the type to get all "emotionally attached" and want to be friends. He has serious stalker potential.

So basically, what I am saying is that men should never play this song for ladies. Ever. Because it is actually really creepy. No romance here, friends.

1 comment:

Mina said...

Child, thats the best blog you have ever written. I accually laughed out loud for real.