Not that I need to explain it.

Here's the deal. When I had a job, I was at my desk all day. Right in front of a computer. For 8 hours. Now that I'm not at a desk all day, I am not always in front of my computer. In fact, most of the time I use my phone. Posting things to this space via phone is not the most convenient thing. So when I am out and about and think of short bits and bobs to share, I don't bother going through the hassle of posting them here. Anything that goes here is usually something a little longer, or something I think of when I happen to be on my computer. Hence why the frequency of posts has dropped off recently.

If you are aware of a decent Blogger iPhone app, please tell me about it. I'd like to give it a try. I just haven't found anything I like using. Okay? Cool.

Also, HOH! New template. It's about time, yo.

Dear Lady Gaga

Dear Lady GaGa,

Huh?

Regards,
Sarah

Hot tip!

Friends. If you decide to use Google Chrome as your new browser, you can apply custom themes to make it look pretty. Themes created by many delightful designers such as Todd Oldham, Anna Sui, D&G, Kate Spade and the one I chose, which is by Jonathan Adler. It's fun! Check it out!

Wife.

It's like I live in 1950 or something. If people asked me, "So, what do you do?" I could tell them, "I'm a housewife."

It's almost like that. You get up in the morning and you have coffee and breakfast and then he leaves. He leaves and you stay there, all alone. What are you going to do today? You've got big plans. Maybe a little exercise. Then you'll get cleaned up. Then you'll so a little laundry and some dishes. Or you could organize the cupboards. And the fridge, well the fridge needs to be cleaned out. You could definitely do that. Then what? I guess you could take a nap. Or maybe watch some television for a bit. Maybe read a book? Eventually you might get to leave the house for some groceries. That will be fun! But you won't go anywhere else. Not by yourself. That would feel strange, being alone in public. People would stare! No way. Just to the grocery store and back. Then you can cook dinner. Then he will come home, and you'll eat, watch more television and go to sleep. Then you'll get up and do the same thing all over again tomorrow. Because you're a housewife.

Yeah, it's almost like that. Except, you know. Without a "him".

Nice.

Yesterday I received an email from one of the guys I used to work with. It had the usual things like "good luck with the job search" and giving me updates on the latest goings on at the office. But there was one line that really made me smile.

"Your unique charm is one that will never be replaced."

It was so sweet. And kind of funny. Because I'm charming. And my charm is unique. It is one of those things that I will probably go back and read again when I am wondering why anyone bothers to talk to me in the first place. A delightful little reminder of who I am. I am me, and that's alright, man. That's alright.

Here's the thing.

It sounds odd, but I really needed a vacation from being unemployed. I went to Toronto for a week and spent time with some people that I just don't get to see very often, because they live so far away from me. It was one of the best vacations I have ever had. There was not a moment of grumpiness from me, even when I was tired and trying to get over the jet lag on 3 hours of sleep. It was end to end amazing. It was good for my brain to be around people, watching them make things and do things and create things and talk about making things.

HOWEVER, now I'm back at home and have to jump back into my life. Head first is the approach I'm taking. Here's the thing: I need a job. But what kind of job? I've come up with a list of things I want to get out of a place that I have to spend 8 hours of my day.

1) I want to create things. I want to be able to have a thing I can look at and say, "I made this".
2) I want a positive environment. I want to be recognized for the good things I do. I also want feedback on the things I don't do so well. I want them to help me get better at what I do.
3) I want to be paid fairly.
4) I want to be excited about what I do.
5) I want to work with other creative people. I feed off the energy of others, and I would love to be back in a creative environment again.

Now that I know this much, I need to figure out what I bring to the table. This is the tricky part. But after my vacation from vacationing, I feel like I'm finally ready to figure this out.

Also, I have learned that the best way to start your morning is to read a hilarious email, drink some coffee, and dance around in your underwear. Then you can start to get shit done. WOOT.

What to do when you have nothing to do.

The first week an a half of unemployment was just straight up MAGICAL. I would wake up every day at my normal time (6:30am) and hear my roommate getting ready for work. There would be a moment of, "Awwww MAN!" and then I would remember. OH YEAH. I DON'T HAVE TO GET UP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A JOB. WOOOOOOO! Then I'd go back to sleep until whenever-I-goddamn-feel-like-it o'clock. It was great. When I finally did get out of bed, there was a leisurely schedule. Make a latte, (I need to develop some barista skills JUST IN CASE) watch some television, write some things, think about possible activities, read the entire Internet. I kept pretty busy. It was nice. It sort of felt like a vacation.

But then one day, it happened. I got bored. It suddenly dawns on you that pretty much everyone you know is at work, so if you go anywhere, you will be going by yourself. You can't really call anyone because everyone is busy doing work crap. You rapidly run out of ideas to keep yourself busy. You start making lists of possibly career ideas, but that all turns to crap once you notice that you have written "rocket scientist" and "robot butler" three times each. WHAT NOW????

I like to search for cheap airfare for a last minute vacation, because I can actually take last minute vacations with like zero planning. I can't really afford one, but this is not the point. The point is to remind myself of the fact that I could, in theory, flee at any time. I also like to shop for things on the Internet, because I enjoy the thought of receiving a package in the mail. If I order something online today, that gives me at least a full 7 days of waiting for a package. But I never actually order anything, because HELLO? BUDGET.

I suppose after I clean my entire house, organize some stuff, and doing absolutely everything else I can in order to avoid having to sit down and seriously think about my situation, I will eventually have to just suck it up and do it. I will have to rewrite my resume, decide what I want to do with the rest of my life, and start getting serious about looking for work.

But I'll save that for tomorrow. These origami zoo animals aren't going to fold themselves.

Sucks to your assmar.

So I don't *actually* have asthma. Well, I don't think I do. I've never been diagnosed with it, but I have been treated for asthma-related symptoms. It sounds more complicated than it is. ANYWAYS, I don't actually have asthma. This is the point.

However, sometimes I get breathing problems when I exercise. Today I went for a run and it turned out to be a lot colder out than I had thought it was. When I was running it was okay. But now, it has been a few hours and I sort of feel like I have the beginnings of a chest cold. What the heck, man? It was just a little cold air. This always happens, which is why I stopped running in the first place. It's rather annoying. I'm not sick... my lungs just don't like all that cold air, I guess.

LAME.

A story.

Once upon a time, I had a job. A job that I hated. A job that made me miserable. A job that made it hard for me to get out of bed every day. A job that didn't challenge me. A job that held me back from reaching my potential.

One day, I lost that job. It was a great day.

Normally, here is where I would write THE END and leave you with that. But it's not the end. It's just the beginning.

Grumble grumble.

I recently became the proud owner of a Cafe Artigiano gift card. This was a very exciting thing, because I was about to be living without access to my espresso machine. YES this is a big deal. I should go see a surgeon about getting that thing attached to my body. THAT IS HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. Anyway, the first morning I was cat sitting I stopped in for a latte at the location right around the corner from work. When I went to pay for it, I was informed that the gift card reader wasn't working. ARRRRGH. I paid for it with cash, because I needed the coffee. I needed it real bad, yo. It was delicious, so I forgot about the mild annoyance.

The next time I went to use it, the card worked fine. Yippee! Delicious coffee, courtesy of Lydia. This morning, I went to use it again. THE CARD READER WAS DOWN AGAIN. WHAT. THE. HECK. Again, I really needed a coffee, so I paid with cash. STUPID JERK CAFE ARTIGIANO. That's $10 I would not have normally spent on coffee. I think I am going to save the rest of the gift card to try at a different location. I suspect that it works just fine at all the other ones. Blerg.

Sometimes I think about strange things.

I was just sitting here at my desk, wondering what it would be like if I was in Back to the Future Part II. Like what if past me was standing around the corner RIGHT NOW and spying on me. And past me is reading this and is like, "OMG NOOOOOO!!!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!" But I don't even know that I'm changing anything because I don't know what happens in the future. But past me knows what happens in the future because past me has also seen the future. Past me is trying to stop me from ruining the future by doing whatever it is I am about to do. But what if it's too late? What if past me can't stop present me from doing the thing I'm not supposed to do? What if this is the thing that I'm not supposed to do????

Crap. Have I just ruined EVERYTHING?

Twitter: The Criterion Collection from sween on Vimeo.

HEY INTERNET! LOOK AT THIS THING THAT MY FRIENDS MADE! IT IS HILARIOUS! My words are in there. Just look for the giant spoonful of dessert and the dance sequence. WORD.

Fix it.

I never go to the doctor. I've never liked going and have been lucky enough to be pretty healthy all my life, so I never really had to. I once went for 9 years without setting foot in a doctor's office. I know, right? Kind of impressive. So you know when something is bothering me enough to need to go to the doctor, it is a big deal.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. Yesterday I reached a point where I was finally able to admit to myself and to someone else that something wasn't right. I'm not supposed to feel like this all the time. It's not normal. I'm not okay, and it is time to fix it.

Here's hoping we can figure it out.

I'm ready to relax.

My brain is a strange and wonderful place.

My brain is a strange and wonderful place. Yesterday afternoon, for no reason at all, a word popped into my brain and I could not get it out. That word was yurt. Over and over again, I repeated that word. Yurt. Yurt. Yurt. I finally decided that it was the best word ever. I also decided that I would like to stay in a yurt one day. Yurts are awesome.

Today there is a song in my head:

I like to eat, eat, eat ohpples and banonos!

Not sure why, but ohpples and banonos is my favourite one. I like it even more than ooooples and banooonooos.

What was I talking about? Lunch? Nevermind.

VICTORY!!!!!

I did it. I finally did it. I COOKED MYSELF AN ACTUAL MEAL. I USED INGREDIENTS. I USED A RECIPE. THERE WERE MULTIPLE STEPS.

I'm back, baby. I'm back!

The recipe that brought me back to life was this magic spicy peanut sauce from Everybody Likes Sandwiches. It really was magic. I used it in a stir fry with some rice noodles. OM NOM NOM.

Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you don't know how do do things. Sometimes you aren't sure how you're going to get out of this jam.

Sometimes you cry about it. Sometimes in the middle of the crying about it, you realize that you are being ridiculous. Sometimes you stop crying and start laughing.

Sometimes you aren't sure if you've said too much. Sometimes you find it hard to stop saying things. Sometimes you have nothing to say.

Sometimes you write crap on the Internet. Sometimes people read it. Sometimes people don't.

Sometimes life is awesome. Sometimes life is hard.

The worst.

Today was just the worst. I was the worst at being funny, the worst at being a grown up, the worst at drawing pictures of hands, the worst at telling you how I feel, the worst at cooking dinner, the worst at being awake, the worst at cleaning, the worst at understanding things, the worst at not being annoying.

Today was just the worst.

Trade secrets.

Most of the things I write here are true. This is not to say that some of the things are lies, because none of them are lies. These strange, weird and wonderful things really do happen to me. However, I am a writer. I understand that sometimes, in order to make something funny into something REALLY FUNNY, I must inject a little bit of fiction into the situation. Which parts are totally true? Which parts are embellished? Is any of it fiction?

I'll never tell. I AM SUCH A MYSTERY.

Baby steps.

First you finish the laundry. Then you put it all away. Then you make your lunch. Then you wash your dishes.

Then you change your life.

Here I am, back at home.

Here I am, back at home. Six days away isn't a long time. Mostly it felt like it wasn't long enough. At one point, surely due to lack of sleep, it felt like way too long. I called the airline because I wanted to go home. They told me it would cost $500. I changed my mind. I'm glad I stayed.

I have never laughed so hard and smiled so much. There were hugs every five minutes. Then they started leaving. I cried. I cried so hard. I don't think I've ever cried when saying goodbye before. Now I'm pretty sure I'm ready to go pro.

Come back, friends. I miss you. I really fucking miss you.

NOMS.

In an effort to slowly get myself back on the "HEY I LOVE EATING" train, I went to Whole Foods yesterday to get some things. I bought a loaf of my favourite pumpkin seed bread and some delicious cheeses to go with it. I was going to make THE BEST GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH EVER IN TIME. I was also going to make a non-grilled cheese and tomato sandwich to take to work today. BUT... last night I ended up with a bunch of leftover sushi, so I brought that for lunch today. I have to wait until I get home tonight before I get to eat my yummy yummy bread. But I want toast NOW.

This is exciting. There's a kind of food I actually want to eat. TOAST IS THE BEST THING EVER.

OKAY, FINE.

I think it is time to admit it. I have not been taking very good care of myself lately. I mean, I have been exercising, which is a pretty big deal for me. But there are so many other areas in which I have totally been failing myself.

I am not eating properly. I used to really enjoy cooking and trying new things. But it seems like lately I've just lost interest in food. I'm not thinking about it as something to be enjoyed. I think of it as something I have to do. Eating has become a chore to me. Something I wish I could survive without doing. Grocery shopping has become a horrible and confusing experience for me. When it comes time to make dinner, I sit in front of the cupboards and stare. I can't ever think of anything I want to eat or anything I want to make. It must have stemmed from being busy and not having the time to cook proper meals, and then just starting to rely on the convenience foods. This is something I hope to change soon. I know I'll start to look and feel better if I start to actually think about what I'm putting in my body again.

I'm also not sleeping well. This probably has a lot to do with the not eating properly (and vice-versa). I suppose there's no time like the start of a new year to start fixing the things you have been doing wrong. Wish me luck, friends. Delicious, delicious luck.

Goodbye, 2009.

This year was really difficult for me. I spent far too much of my time feeling stressed, upset, sick, tired, worried, angry, unsure of myself. I'm not sorry to see it go.

But even with all the bad things, there were some great things. Friends got married, there were babies, people went on exciting trips, I helped people, people helped me, I made new friends, I missed old ones, I danced, and I laughed. HOLY SHIT, DID I DO A LOT OF LAUGHING.

My world has changed a lot in the past year, and I spent a lot of time being afraid of that. I guess I just wasn't ready for it. But I'm ready now. Let's do this, 2010. I'm bringing my A-game. BOOSH.

Changes.

Christmas is going to be so very different this year. I come from a gigantic family. My Dad has 4 siblings and my Mom has 6. When I was growing up, Christmas dinner meant 25 people MINIMUM. I'm used to crowding around a big table with barely any elbow room, hearing 17 different conversations going on at the same time, laughter coming from every room in the house. But this year is going to be different.

My brother and sister aren't coming over for Christmas Eve. It's just my parents and I. They're coming late in the morning on Christmas Day. My nephew won't be at Christmas dinner. There will only be 8 of us this year. It's so WEIRD.

I guess we're all older now, so things are changing. That doesn't mean I have to like it. Meh.
Or HUMBUG, I suppose.

Lazy Sunday

I've been sitting around all day, doing nothing. I managed to make myself some food and got myself showered, but that's about it. I can think of a million things I could be or should be doing, but I'm not doing them.

Housework? Meh.

MOAR PLZ.

2 minutes ago I was working on something, when "Little Red Corvette" came on the radio. I stopped what I was doing and just sat and listened to it for a bit. I just sat there and thought about how much I fucking LOVE Prince. It made me so happy, just thinking about how great he is.

I REALLY LOVE HIM.

Next time you have one of those, "I LOVE THIS SONG!" moments, I suggest you stop for a moment and think about WHY you love it and HOW MUCH you love it. You don't have to do it, but it's pretty great when you do. It will make you smile.

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH. I FUCKING LOVE PRINCE.

BRRRRRRRRRR.

HOLY MOTHERLOVIN CRAP IT IS COLD OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.

I know. I'm a total west coast baby when it comes to winter weather. We do get pretty spoiled over here in Vancouver. But seriously. Minus 5 is friggin COLD to this kid.

If I ever have to move back east, I am so effed.

SQUEE!

This day started out all wrong. It seemed to steadily get worse. It was pulling me down with it, into a pit of despair. There was a moment when I was sitting at my desk, where I decided that I wasn't going stress out anymore. I was going to snap the fuck out of it. So I tried a little relaxation technique. It took about 4 minutes to do and afterwards I already felt a little bit better.

Slowly, as the afternoon progressed, I began to feel lighter. Tiny things were making me smile. I was cheering up. By the time I headed home, I was actually smiling as I walked down the street. A firefighter said hello to me. I had a bounce in my step. I walked up the front steps to check the mail. MY BOOTS FROM J. CREW HAD ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!

I have been downright giddy since then. THEY ARE THE PRETTIEST BOOTS EVER IN TIME. I FEEL MAGICAL WHEN I WEAR THEM. I HAVEN'T TAKE THEM OFF SINCE I GOT HOME. I WORE THEM OUT WHEN I WENT TO GET MY BANGS TRIMMED.

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Hence the caps lock.

I think I may have just learned a lesson today, friends. I don't have to commit to being a grumpy miserable jerk just because things start out that way. I can turn it around if I want to.

HA! IN YOUR FACE, NABLOPOMO!

So. I thought I had buggered it up, but I kept going anyways. But then I realized that I had in fact posted twice in one day, therefore giving me a grand total of 30 blog posts in 30 days. So I'm calling this a win. A WIN!

Yay me!

The idea here was to make it a habit to remember to post here every once in awhile. I hope I can manage to do just that.

Also, it is December today. WHAT THE CRAP? Weird, right? I suppose I should probably start shopping and whatnot. OOPS.

Goodbye, old friend.

I got a text from my friend early this morning. Her dog had passed away last night. She thanked me for being a friend to her little dog and said that she was planning a funeral for him.

I spent lots of time with that little guy. He hated bicycles and would bark his face off at every passing cyclist. We would get kind of embarrassed by his freak outs, so we would tell people that he was just thanking them rather enthusiastically for being so kind to the environment. It was hilarious.

I'll admit, I thought it was a bit strange at first, when I read that she was planning a funeral for a dog. But then I remembered what it was like when my dog Ebony died. I was in college and was home alone, enjoying my first day of my month-long Christmas vacation. I was wrapping presents in the den when she came walking in. She whimpered, and I looked up at her. She looked at me with big, scared eyes and started wheezing. I grabbed her face and asked her if she was okay, as if she was going to be able to answer me. She started to wobble, so I grabbed her body in a hug. She collapsed in my arms. I panicked and ran around the house, looking for the phone. I needed to call the vet. I couldn't find it.

Ebony came wandering into the living room behind me. She suddenly seemed fine. I started to calm down. But then it happened again. She tried to get up and walk to me, but she couldn't stand. She was too heavy for me to carry her all by myself. I found the phone and called the vet. They told me to bring her in right away. I didn't have a car. I ran to the house across the street for help. They came over and helped me pick her up and drove us to the vet. They rushed her inside. 5 minutes later, they took me into a room and told me that she had died. I managed to make it out to the waiting room before I started sobbing.

I cried when I called my Mom at work to tell her. I cried when I called my Dad. I cried while I sat on the sofa waiting for them to come home. It was probably one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I cried harder for that dog than I had ever cried for any person I had known in my whole life.

But she was a dog, so we didn't have a funeral for her. It seems weird that we didn't, considering that she was such a huge part of our lives. When you think about it that way, it doesn't seem so strange to pamper them in the way that we do. We do it because we love them. Because they are offer us what no one else can. Absolutely unconditional love.

Goodbye, old friend. We'll miss you.

Too much.

I think I have too much stuff.

About two or three times a year I go through my closet and get rid of a bunch of things I don't wear and don't need anymore. It's a pain in the butt to go through everything and I end up creating a huge mess in the process, but when it's finally done it feels pretty great. I'm left with a better organized space and it feels kind of great to get rid of things I don't absolutely love.

But that's only clothes. I still manage to accumulate piles and piles of random things. Things that people give me, and therefore don't want to throw away. Things that I feel some sort of weird emotional attachment to for no apparent reason. These things are harder to get rid of. I'm not sure why.

For clothes, I have rules that I follow in the purging process. If I haven't worn it in a year, it goes. If I have never EVER worn it, it goes. If it doesn't fit right, it goes. But I don't have rules like this to apply to my other things. It's just... stuff. What are the rules for getting rid of random stuff? How do I figure out what to keep and what not to keep?

Going, going, going, going...

ALL DAY LONG. Going here and there and everywhere. In the pouring rain. Walking, walking, talking, talking, more walking. Wandering around, not knowing what you want. Seeing things but not wanting any of it. Wandering, wandering. Wanting to sleep. It's so dark out. It's so early.

Goodnight.

Things I learned this week.

I learned that I'm getting older. Consequently, so is my body.

Maybe I shouldn't participate in what I called "lo-fi acrobatics". (There's a reason they told you never to jump on the bed. You really can hurt yourself.) Maybe I shouldn't stay out until 1am in the middle of the week. Maybe I can't just eat whatever I want. Because I'll get hurt, I'll get tired and I'll get fat.

But my spirit isn't getting older, so fuck that shit. If you need me, I'll be over here jumping on the bed at midnight on a Tuesday whilst eating cookies. Then I'm going to fall asleep in my pillow fort. SO SUCK ON THAT, 28 YEAR OLD BODY.

A post is a post!

I am VERY tired, after staying out way too late at the Hidden Cameras show. WOOOOO! ACTING MY AGE!!!!

Anyway, I thought I would mention to you lovely people that I have some Google Wave invites. Want one? You can have one! Either leave me your email address in the comments, or send me an email and tell me you want one. Happy waving and whatnot!

Going out.

I'm going out. Tonight. On a school night. To a show. That starts at 9:30. In the PM. That's my bed time. Concert organizers are jerks.

Whoa.

FACT: Competition chili has NO BEANS in it.

Beans qualify as filler, and there must be NO FILLER in competition chili.

I discovered this today, at a chili lunch fundraiser thingy at work. It was weird, because I had never encountered chili without beans before. In fact, when I make chili, I put TWO kinds of beans in it. So, if there are no beans in competition chili, what is in there?

Meat. 7 different kinds of meat. Also, some onions and like, red peppers or something. But mainly meat.

In a related story, I think I'm dying. From too much meat. Ohhhhhhhhhh.

AWWW CRAP.

So I had written a little thing for yesterday and I saved it as a draft and FORGOT TO PUBLISH IT. So I suppose this means that I have officially buggered up NaBloPoMo? SHIT!

I will probably post it later anyways. Using some sort of trickery. MUAHAHAHAHA!

Today I woke up feeling under the weather. Normally when I feel like that, I just push on and go to work anyways. But today I decided to listen to my body and so I stayed home. I'm all achey and headachey and blah. I think I just need to relax and sleep and drink tea. So that is what I will do.

THUG LIFE, BITCHES.

I fell into the trap.

I am not a huge fan of the Christmas thing. I find the whole lead up to the day to be very stressful. Everything is hurried, you rush everywhere, you worry about finding the exact right gifts for everyone, you can't find what you are looking for, there are people everywhere ALL THE TIME. It is not a fun time for nervous girls like me.

I normally try to hold off as long as possible on getting into it. I've always thought that I need to hold off until December 1st. It just seems downright silly to start thinking about it until then. But this year, I caved.

Yesterday, I bought eggnog. I KNOW, RIGHT? But here's the thing. It is ORGANIC. I'd never seen organic eggnog before. I picked it up to look at it, and found myself imagining drinking a homemade eggnog latte at breakfast. That was it. I was SOLD.

I made the latte this morning and OH MY GOD. It was divine. The most delicious coffee ever in time. I don't even care about being sucked into liking this Christmas stuff. It's totally worth it.

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMS.

For crying out loud.

I tend to write and joke a lot about crying. The truth is, I don't actually cry all that often. Sure, I often feel like I want to or am going to cry, but I don't really actually do it. Every so often, though, it does happen. And when it does, boy does it ever happen.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I felt it stirring up inside me right before I left work. It was about something that most people would think to be stupid. A non-issue. But I had been slowly getting worked up over it for two days. I could feel the tears coming as I walked down the street to the train station, but I shoved them back down. I felt them rise up into my throat again as I stood under my umbrella in the pouring rain, waiting for the bus. I managed to fight them off again. As I walked closer to my house, they came back. This time they were stronger. After checking the mail and finding nothing there to lift my spirits, it started to spill out. My eyes welled up and I ran down the steps and around to my door. I barely managed to get the door shut behind me before I was full on SOBBING.

It lasted for about 10 minutes. A good, hard, gasping for air, UGLY cry. Then it just stopped. So I took a picture of my tear-stained face and saved it away for later. It was a weird thing to do. But I just felt like I needed to do it. Not two minutes later, my phone rang. It was my Mom. I swear, the woman has radar. She always knows when to call. I talked to her for awhile, made some dinner and then went to bed. I slept for ages.

I woke up this morning, and pulled up the crying photo. I burst out laughing at the sight of my sad little face. It was so silly and kind of adorable. So I guess it wasn't such a weird thing to do after all.

I've been smiling ever since.

One small thing.

One small thing can turn into a much bigger thing, if you let it.

I let it.

I got really worked up about a grammatical error in an email. It made me so mad. It was completely irrational. Getting so annoyed about this one thing caused me to get annoyed about several other situations, probably just because I had decided to bathe in this negative energy I had been collecting.

So when the other small problems popped up, I was ill equipped to handle them and allowed those to be a bigger deal than they should have been.

And now I'm sitting here, all tensed up, on the verge of a headache and feeling like I might throw up.

I need to learn how to not care so much about the stupid things. It would be so much more pleasant to be able to live like that. *insert smiley face here*

I got the (social) skills to pay the bills.

Okay. So, Facebook. It's kind of annoying, right? And maybe sometimes you're like, "I am so going to quit this shit. YESTERDAY." But you don't, because you sort of feel like you need it to communicate with people. But you keep thinking that it's kind of stupid.

But then, one day someone awesome sends you a friend request. You get really excited. You feel super important. Mostly because you never get friend requests. So you talk about it a little in a public forum. People see it. Then you get more friend requests. And more. And even more. Eleven, to be exact.

Eleven. In one day. And you feel awesome about it, because eleven people think you are cool enough to be their friend.

I think this pretty much makes up for the entire 5 years of high school.

Internet, I love you.

The Internet is a wonderful place. It is full of awesome things made by awesome people. It is also full of crap made by jerks. But mostly awesome stuff.

It is where I have found people that like the same things I like, hate the same things I hate, get excited about the same things I get excited about, get annoyed by the same things I get annoyed by.

It is also where I find recipes and instructions for folding origami creatures. So, you know. Awesome.

My horoscope for today.

A much larger wave of emotion than you had expected washes over you, and you should find that your friends and family are there to support you -- though almost certainly not in the way you expect.

So it sounds like that's going to be pretty fun.

America!

I went to America today. It was great. Though I was pretty bummed out about not finding any clothes at Target (or anywhere, for that matter). I was, however, very pleased at some new cowboy boots, yummy food things from Trader Joes and a ridiculously awesome plaid trooper hat. I AM SO CANADIAN WITH THIS HAT.

This hat which I purchased in America.

Whatevs.

A strange thing.

Sometimes when I'm getting ready in the morning, I'll see myself in the mirror in my underwear and I'll think to myself, "Hey, not bad."

But then I put on my clothes and I think to myself, "Hey, maybe we could lose a few pounds. Like say, 30."

What is THAT about? It's strange.

TWO IN ONE DAY!

This one is just to tell you that I. CAN. NOT. STOP. LAUGHING.

Everything is funny this afternoon. I love it. I love it so hard.

Have a great Friday, kids.

Smiling makes me smile.

I fully expected to be a grumpy ol' jerkface today, as today is my jobiversary. 4 years ago, I started here. As this day approached, I started to think about my career path and what I'm doing and where I'm going and why I'm doing it and blah blah blah. I started to get anxious. Also, it is Friday the 13th and I dropped my bagel on the floor this morning. I took this as a sign.

But then something great happened. Two people went out of their way to tell me that I had made them smile and laugh today. Do you know how awesome that is? It is my favourite feeling in the whole world.

So it doesn't really matter that I've been at the same job for 4 years. Clearly, I'm doing something right in life.

Something to look forward to.

It's very easy to be grumpy these days. Stuck in the dark all day, rarely seeing the sun. Everyone around you is feeling the same way, so you all just feed each other that delicious negative energy. And you eat it up, greedily. You can't seem to get enough of it sometimes.

This is why the little joys in life are so important. You need to have something to look forward to. One tiny little thing that makes you happy.

For me, it is my mailbox. I have been informed that someone awesome is sending me a package soon. Even though I know it won't be there right away, checking my mailbox will be my favourite part of my day until it arrives. Because for those moments right before I walk up the front stairs, I will be SO EXCITED. SO HOPEFUL. And even when I see that it's not there, I'll feel that way again when I think to myself, "Maybe tomorrow!"

It's going to be so great when it's finally here. I really love mail.

Remembrance.

Today is Remembrance Day, which means having a day off. Normally, I'm all, "WOOO! DAY OFF!" but not today. I always feel a little weird about making plans for this day. I feel like maybe I'm not supposed to have fun today. I'm supposed to remember.

I usually just end up using this as a day for staying home and thinking. Quietly reflecting about life and stuff.

I'm sure by the end of all this reflecting, I'll need my mom.

This space for rent.

I am kind of the greatest friend ever, because I looked past my annoyance of Twitter marketing to help out Lydia with a thing. I tweeted about this contest, which I actually think is kind of cool.

It would be pretty awesome if one of my Internet buddies won it, because they could come here and visit me. So maybe you should enter. And maybe we can drink tea together. And maybe Lydia has turned me into some kind of corporate marketing monster. ROARRRRRRRRR.

Making friends is difficult.

If you take the train here in the morning, you will run into at least three different people at the entrance/exit to the train station all of whom are offering you a different free newspaper. I hate reading the newspaper. Mostly because the ink always gets on my fingers and I hate the way it feels. Also because I get really annoyed when the articles are on page A4 and then they are continued on E7 and then you are like, "Where the fuck is E7?" Then you find E7 and there's only like half a paragraph left anyways and it makes me mad that there is a whole page just dedicated to finishing up stories because why didn't they just finish the story on the next page? It is like the newspaper business is immune to logic or something. I DIGRESS.

So anyways, when I leave the train in the morning I always see the same old man. His name tag says Saul. Saul is likely nearing 80 years old, but he stands outside EVERY morning quietly asking everyone if they would like a paper. He is quite possibly the most adorable man on the planet. I want him to be my friend. I want to go to a diner with him and drink coffee while he tells me ridiculous stories. I want him to give me tips about life.

But it can never happen. Because I can never take a paper from Saul. He'll see it in my eyes. He'll know that I hate reading the newspaper. He'll know that it's a pity paper, and he will never want to hang out with me after that.

It's a shame, because I think Saul and I would get along really well. We could talk about brown pants and running shoes, since I already know that he is a fan of that look.

One week.

I've made it through week one of NaBloPoMo! WORD UP.

The first bit of the week was pretty easy, because I came up with some writing prompts to use. It's something I've never really done before, but I quite enjoyed it. Once I had the idea, I was able to sit down and write 4 posts easily. NO PROBLEM. It felt pretty great.

Sometimes I need to stop thinking so much about what qualifies as content, and just tell you what I want to tell you. Today I want to tell you about a sandwich. A magical sandwich. From Finch's.

It was made on a fresh baguette and had sliced pear with blue brie, prosciutto and toasted walnuts, drizzled with balsamic and olive oil. IT WAS AMAZING. With each bite of this sandwich, I kept wondering why I had ever bothered to eat any other sandwich in my life. Why would I ever eat a sandwich on stupid regular bread? With stupid regular cheese? WHY HAVEN'T I BEEN PUTTING WALNUTS ON THEM?

I think I may have moved up into a whole new sandwich bracket. This could be trouble, friends. Big trouble. Delicious, delicious trouble.

Rituals

We all have little rituals that we perform (often daily) in order to keep ourselves sane. These little things make us feel like ourselves. I have one that I perform every week. I get a little sad when I miss it, even though missing it usually means that I'm off doing something awesome.

I spend my Saturday mornings exactly the same way, week after week. I look SO forward to doing it, even though it's nothing super special. I get out of bed around 9:30 or 10. I head to the giant chair and turn on the TV for a bit. I make myself a large vanilla soy latte, which I put into my favourite mug. (It's huge and was one of Lydia's. It came from La Senza, and I've been using it for tea and coffee since before I even lived here.) I turn on the W Network and watch whatever chick movie they happen to be playing that morning. (Last week was something with Amanda Bynes. DO NOT JUDGE ME.) I usually also eat some toast for breakfast.

Even if I think the movie is stupid, I still sit there and watch it. There is just something about the act of drinking THAT coffee out of THAT mug while watching THAT channel that makes me feel like... me. I never feel more at home than I do in those first few hours on Saturday morning.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a latte to make.

Ah-HA!

This past week has been HORRIBLE. I haven't been feeling so great. I've had crazy neck and back pain all week, which has lead to headaches and miserableness. But even before the neck pain started, I felt SO TIRED. Just completely physically drained. I couldn't understand why, because I had been sleeping fairly well. I just didn't feel like myself.

Today, it hit me. The time change always fucks with me a little bit. It often takes me a week or two to adjust. The fall one seems to be a little different, though. When I get up in the morning, it's dark out. It's light out on my way to work. In the office, we don't have overhead lights turned on, so it is really dark in there. On dark and rainy days, it is like working in a cave for 8 hours. Then I leave work in the dark. I've lived my entire week in the dark. I am pretty sure this is why I'm miserable.

I'm thinking about trying light therapy. The lights are a bit expensive, but I found some portable ones online from Target for a bit cheaper. I'm willing to give it a shot, because it's better than being a mopey old jerk for the next 6 months.

If you've tried light therapy, let me know. I'm interested to hear what you think of it. Or maybe you have other things that help you get through the winter blahs?

*sigh*

The things she could not live without.

The things she could not live without:

• her espresso machine


• hugs


• smiles from strangers


• making you laugh


• sleeping


• seeing your face


• Kid A by Radiohead


• real friends


• imaginary friends


• her iPhone


• seeing your smiling face

(Inspired by some postcards I bought at The Regional Assembly of Text.)

The things she loved.

The things she loved:

• Saturday morning coffee in her pjs


• movies about dancing


• the quiet moments right before she falls asleep


• brand new pens


• new shoes


• getting surprises in the mail


• science!
  

(Inspired by some postcards I bought at The Regional Assembly of Text.)

The things she hated.

The things she hated:

• waiting


• thinking about money


• cold water in the bathtub


• the taste of vitamin C tablets


• earaches


• being tired


• when Word automatically changes the font


• LOUD NOISES!


• spiders

(Inspired by some postcards I bought at The Regional Assembly of Text.)

The things she liked.

The things she liked:

• pancakes for dinner
  
• grape soda


• seeing new emails in her inbox


• hearing leaves crunch under her feet


• spinning around in circles in the sunlight


• the smell of freshly baked bread

(Inspired by some postcards I bought at The Regional Assembly of Text.)

NaBloPoMo, bitches!

Happy November, jerks! You know what that means... it is National Blog Posting Month. I've never taken part in this before, but I was thinking about it yesterday and I'm kind of sad about what has become of this space. I've been spending most of my time creating other kinds of content in other places, and therefore have let my writing here fall off. So I'm trying to kick myself in the butt and see if I can get back into the swing of things.

I shall be attempting to post once per day for the entire month of November. This doesn't seem like such a difficult thing to do, but sometimes you just feel like you have nothing to write about. I'm going to try to fix that. There's ALWAYS something to write about. I can write about having nothing to write about. WHOA. Meta.

Anyways, I'm excited about being back here. Let's see how this goes. Hopefully I don't muck it up.

Until tomorrow...

Bored.

I'm bored. Yeah, that's right. I said it. And don't give me any of that whole, "Only boring people get bored" crap. That's a lie. I know this. I know this because I am a very interesting person. A very interesting person WHO HAPPENS TO BE BORED OUT OF HER MIND RIGHT NOW, YO.

Now you're thinking I'm arrogant, calling myself interesting and shit. But I'm not. This is based on the fact that people are always telling me how interesting I am. Okay fine. The word they actually use is "weird", but that's like, basically the same thing. So whatever. I'm interesting.

AND I'M REALLY, REALLY BORED.

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

I used to have short hair. Really short hair, at one point. I loved it. The first time I went short (when I was 19) I was convinced that I would never have long hair EVER AGAIN. Short hair is so easy! I lasted about 8 years with short hair. I started growing it out over the past year, and now it is way long. It has been long for awhile now... and I'm starting to get bored with it. I feel like I want a change. But every time I talk about cutting it shorter again, people freak out. They keep telling me not to cut it, because I look so much better with long hair.

The problem is that when I had really short hair, I didn't ever take photographs of myself. This means that I don't really have anything besides my memory to go on. At the time I thought I looked great with short hair.. but what if I was wrong? If I had pictures, I would have PROOF of looking awesome. (Or possibly ridiculous.)

I'm going in tomorrow. I still have no idea what I'm going to do. But then again, I pretty much never do. I don't decide until I'm in the chair.

Until then, I'll get lost in Google results for "haircut awesome cool".

I think I'm pretty hilarious.

Self-deprecation is the kind of humour I am most fond of. I use it because I would much rather make fun of myself than to possibly offend someone else. This is why I do it so often. The problem with this is that when you do it as often as I do, people seem to read it the wrong way. If I make fun of myself, I must hate myself.

I don't. I swear.

To me, self-deprecation is about knowing yourself. No one knows me better than I do. I know my limitations, my strengths and weaknesses, my fears, my everythings. So when I make jokes about how I don't go out or talk to people it is not because I HATE MYSELF, it is because I KNOW MYSELF. I know that I don't go out and that I don't talk to people. I'm not sad about it. I think it is FUNNY. And it's okay for you to laugh about it too.

I make jokes about myself because I know I can take it. I think I'm HILARIOUS, so why wouldn't I share that with the world?

Haha, I'm totally arrogant.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Down with the sickness.

I am pretty sure I am getting sick, which SUCKS ASS. I just feel so tired. I feel like I could go to sleep right now and sleep straight through until next Tuesday.

Hey, I should totally do that. BEST IDEA EVAR.

Everything is going to be alright.

I was driving home from downtown tonight and feeling a little bummed out about some things. As I headed over the Georgia Viaduct, I saw a bright light out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw a sign on top of a building in Chinatown. It was written in the brightest neon lights:

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

I smiled and laughed to myself.

"It is." I said. "It really is."

My little part in a big thing.

There it is. The most famous tweet of them all. (All of MINE, I mean.) The original is here.

So this happened.

HEY GUYS, I'M ALIVE.

I'm also published. Sort of.

WHAT?

Yes, it is true. One of my tweets is in there! Want to see for yourself? Buy it! If you are able to, please purchase it through HERE, as part of the sale of your copy will go to help out a very deserving little girl and her family. If you can't buy it from there, (does Amazon.com ship to Canada? I don't know. Look it up!) you can find it here.

Woohoo!

Would you put your brain in a robot body?

I think I would. I mean, think about it. You could still do all the stuff you like doing, but you would never have to stop for bathroom breaks. And you would probably never have to worry about getting dressed ever again. It would be like walking around in the nude all the time, but way less controversial because you would have nothing but robot-y things to see on your body. That would be kind of cool.

If you ever had anything wrong with you, it would be way easier to fix than a human body. You would be like, "Ow, my knee hurts." and then you would just go to Home Depot. You would never forget to eat, because you would never need to remember. Your video game machines would never act like jerks to you ever again, because you would be one of them. You would never need to type ever again, because you could just use your human brain to think things and it would go straight to the computer in your robot body. If you wanted to print them out, you would just think, "Print that out!" and then it would come shooting out of the printer in your robot belly button.

It doesn't sound so bad to me.

Oh, wait. If I had a robot body I couldn't drink beer, because it would short circuit me.

Fuck that noise. HUMAN BODY FTW.

The internet threw up in there.

I just looked at my GMail inbox, and GOOD GOD. That place is a disaster area! The problem is that they make a point of telling me that I have all of the space in the whole wide world. ALL OF IT! IT IS ALL MINE! So I don't delete anything. And then it end up looking like the Internet just threw up in there.

So, I have decided to make some sort of organizational system. I don't know what exactly I am going to do, but I'm going to do something. Do you have any tips for managing your inbox? Let me know if you do. WORD.

Never forget.

I never drive to work. Like, EVER. I drove in this morning, because I was supposed to drive out to Delta after work to go for my dress fitting. But then my fitting got cancelled. And now there is a pretty good chance that I'll forget that I drove today and leave my car sitting in the parking lot.

Hot.

This heat. It is too much. It is making me upset. I am not sleeping well, therefore I am GRUMPY AS FUCK. I am also STUPID AS FUCK. Everything is making me mad. Everything makes me want to punch someone in the face and then probably cry about it a little bit afterwards.

Ugh.

I SAID UGH, GODDAMNIT.

Yuck.

I am so tired that I can feel each and every molecule of carbon dioxide leaving my body as I exhale. It is a great deal of work, this breathing. Existing. Everything feels like it takes so much effort. And if there's one thing I hate, it is try-ers. Ugh.

Almost true, except I don't swear at the ladies as much as I swear at the dudes.

Joan: "Excuse me, Sarah? Don't you think you should finish that copy before you leave today?"

Me: "What the fuck time is it, Joan? I think it's 5 o'clock. I think it's time to get my drink on. See you bitches Monday."

Peggy: "Oh my."

Me: "SUCK IT."

Go ahead, Mad Men Yourself. DO IT.

You were asking for it, missy.

It was really hot out today, so I had an iced coffee this afternoon. At about 3. Which was really fucking dumb of me because HELLO? I AM WIDE AWAKE STILL.

Fuckballs.

I don't really want to liveblog my insomnia again just yet. It's time to give that dead horse some rest before I start beating on it again. So I shall give you a brief rundown of my vacation.

My birthday was on Monday. It was the most lovely day. I woke up in the morning to messages from all my lovely internet friends and all my lovely real life friends. They kept pouring in all day and I was just delighted. You lot sure know how to make a girl feel special. I ate lots of yummy sushi with my Mom and sister and hung out with my dog. Awesome. I spent the next day shopping and hanging out with my Mom and sister again, because they are awesome.

Wednesday I spent the day at the swimmin' hole with my sister. We found the best secret swimming spot EVER. It was so rad that we actually went there twice in one day. i already want to go back. It was like I was a kid again. Swimming is the best.

Yesterday and today were all housey things and shopping things. Good times.

I was initially pretty upset about not being able to go anywhere on vacation this time around, but I've had a truly lovely week. Staycations aren't so bad after all, yo.

I'm still alive.

OH HAI. JUST VACATIONING AND USING THE INTERNET LESS THAN I NORMALLY DO WHICH IS KIND OF GREAT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

Gumballs!

I got gumballs for an early b-day present! A whole box of them! Which is necessary, because the flavour in those suckers only lasts for like, 30 seconds. From then on it is a matter of how determined I am to make it last. I tend to keep chewing them long after the flavour first runs away, because I'm positive I'll hit another little flavour pocket. It's always a little sad when it's time to spit it out. BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE LIKE A MILLION MORE.

I wish you a wonderful day.

Today has not been great. It has been a bad news day. I guess that's why this stood out to me so much.

It was just a regular work email, full of the usual stuff. But the end of it was slightly different.
It said :

"Thanks for your help and I wish you a wonderful day."

I wish you a wonderful day.

I wish you a wonderful day.

The sender of this email doesn't just hope that I have a wonderful day, he wishes that I have a wonderful day. It just seems so much more genuine and sweet. I love it.

Isn't it funny that one little word he chose to use changed my whole day around? Think about that.

Older? Yes. Wiser? Debatable.

Next Monday I will wake up, having gotten older again by one day. I will also have gotten older by one year.

I miss being younger. I miss having birthdays where all I cared about was what kind of presents I was going to get, or what kind of cake I’d get to eat. I don’t wonder about these things so much anymore. They have been replaced by bigger thoughts. Thoughts like, “Why am I still doing the exact same thing I was doing last year?” or “Shouldn’t you be moving on? Moving forward? Why can’t you bring yourself to do that?”

The answer is always the same. I don’t know. I never know. Which is exactly the problem. If I knew the answers, I’d be doing something about it. If I was doing something about it, I wouldn’t need to ask the questions.

Maybe this year will be different. Maybe I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’ll take a flying leap and change everything. Or maybe I’ll just do the robot dance. Again. For another year.

To the right.

It really hurts when I try to turn my head to the right. GUESS WHAT I KEEP DOING.

Eeeeeeeew.

Yesterday was a milestone. A big one.

I. Ate. Fish.

I KNOW, RIGHT? It's crazy. I've never been a fan of seafood, which is kind of a shame considering where I live. It's all seafood all the time over here. Yesterday I was convinced to try it again.

My friend Bernie is the most delightful cook, so I only tried it because he made it. We had this shrimp salad thing on baguettes in this yummy creamy dill sauce, crab cakes with chipotle aioli, crab ravioli with a chipotle cream sauce and two kinds of cedar plank salmon (one teriyaki, one wasabi glaze).

It was all delicious. I'm glad I mustered up the courage to try everything, because it would have been a shame to have missed out on any of it. I'm still not a huge fan of salmon, but I think I'll be more willing to try it now. I'm such a grown up!

Because sometimes you forget what you are doing.

FOR LIKE A WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK.

On Wednesday, I thought it was Thursday. Today I knew it was Thursday, but I was bitter about it. Tomorrow is for sure Friday. That is something I can really get on board with, friends.

All out of sorts.

I'm all out of sorts today. It was that silly day off in the middle of the week business. It was also the OOPS I DRANK COFFEE IN THE AFTERNOON YESTERDAY AND THEN COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP SO I TOOK SOME SLEEPY MEDICINE AND THEN I WAS GROGGY thing.

I thought it would all end when I got home, but nooooooooooo. I walked in the door and I was starving, so I ate dinner right away. This is not how it normally works. Normally I don't eat until 7 or 8pm. So now I'm sitting here all weirded out because I did everything backwards. I have all this time to just... sit here.

This day, it is messing up my brain and I don't like it.

L'autobus... OF EVIL.

The first bus I caught this morning was packed. Every seat was taken and the aisle was full of people who were standing. The bus was moseying on through an intersection when suddenly the driver SLAMMED on the brakes. Everyone went flying. I was hanging onto a pole, but you can't fight momentum, man. I was thrown off my feet and into the guy on the right side of me, while the guy on the left side of me flew into me. Like human dominoes! I caught myself by clutching onto the pole. It was in this very moment when every muscle on the left side of my torso felt like it was being ripped away from my bones. FUCK DID IT HURT.

This left me standing there in an intense amount of pain, trying to act like I was fine. My eyes started to well up a little and I started to feel really hot. I turned around to face forwards and my vision started to go a little fuzzy. I thought I was about to pass out. I stumbled off the bus at my stop and had to give myself a moment before I started walking. The breeze hit my face and I started to feel a little better.

I took some medicine right when I got to work. But holy fuck am I going to feel this one tomorrow. AWESOME.

I fucking hate the bus.

Friday

They don't call it Casual Friday for nothin'. For me, pretty much every day is casual at work. I don't really have to follow a dress code. Even so, I always make a point of wearing jeans on Fridays. It's like a mental thing. It's my busiest day at work, so I like to be comfortable. It's just how I roll, yo.

So. You've seen these jeans before. They are from Old Navy. It makes me sad to think that I can't just go buy some new ones when these ones are done. They were some sort of "special edition" issue. *sigh* It's okay though. They still have a lot of life left in them.

The shirt is from Aritzia. I have a couple of shirts from there and I quite like them. It's a good place to go if you are looking for t-shirts with interesting graphics or slightly different styles of the basic t-shirt.

The shoes are my "Jesus sandals". They are cute, strappy brown leather sandals that I bought about 6 or so years ago on sale at Aldo. The necklace is from Le Chateau. I love the chunky beads and the black/brown colour. It goes with almost everything. The scarf is one of my favourites. Another H&M find! Brie happens to have the exact same one, and Lydia has it in red. Everyone loves it!

So that brings us to the end of this little project. Did you like it? To be honest, I've had a lot of fun doing it. I think this might be something that I keep up. It won't be a daily occurance, but maybe every once in awhile. Let me know what you think!

Thursday

I know, I know. It's summer. But it was raining. SO WEARING BOOTS IS OKAY.

This outfit got me through fall, winter, spring and is now helping me work my way through summer. It's probably my favourite outfit. To make it work for fall/winter, I just throw on a scarf and a long black cardigan. Since the arrival of spring and summer, I've been wearing it with the black flats from yesterday. So versatile!

The dress is from H&M and is one of the best purchases I've ever made. I've worn the hell out of this dress. I love it because it works so well for every occasion. It's casual, but can be a little dressier too. It's also super comfortable.

The leggings are from American Apparel and are the only kind I wear. I like them because they are a thicker cotton and feel more like pants then tights. I don't like wearing anything super sheer for leggings.

And then there are the boots. My beloved boots. They are made by Vagabond and are super comfy. I bought these at Winners a couple of years ago for $5o. I KNOW, RIGHT? BARGAIN. I wore these almost every day in the winter, because they go with everything. I wear them with dresses, jeans, skirts... anything!

Wednesday

Yes. I know. This outfit is remarkably similar to what I wore yesterday. But it IS different. What can I say? I just like wearing jeans. ANYWAYS, let me break it down for you.

A plain black v-neck shirt is a must have, I say. This one I think is from Walmart or somewhere stupid like that. It was maybe $6. The jeans are from H&M and are some of my skinniest jeans. I was a bit shy to wear them at first, but now I LOVE them. The shoes are DVS. A basic black ballet flat is another wardrobe staple.

The scarf is H&M. I love this bright marigold colour. It adds a little pop of colour to an otherwise basic outfit. The necklace is the same one I wore on Monday. (See? I told you I wore it a lot!)

Tuesday

Today felt like a lazy, tired kind of day. So I went for comfort. Cute comfort, I hope! Let's start from the top.

The shirt is from H&M. It's actually long enough to be a dress and you can wear it as such with some leggings. I'm not quite ready to wear that look out just yet. I'm a little shy about it being too tight.

The jeans are from Old Navy, purchased a couple of years ago. They were my first ever skinny jeans, which I never wore because I was worried I was too chunky to wear them. I rediscovered them this past fall and have worn the hell out of them since.

The shoes are my new metallic gold Birkenstocks. They have a cute little ankle strap that you can't see.

The scarf and necklace are both from H&M. I love the big chunky stones on the necklace. I get lots of compliments whenever I wear it. My sister gave me the scarf as a gift and it is AWESOME. From a distance it looks like a very pretty floral pattern, which it is, but there are actually little tiny pink skulls hidden amongst the flowers. I love it.

Monday.

I love this skirt. I just bought it yesterday. I couldn't WAIT to wear it, so I ignored the weather forecast of general chilliness and went for it. Oddly enough, this entire outfit came from the same place, but at different times. All are from Joe Fresh (at Superstore). The t-shirt was purchased maybe 1 or 2 years ago and the shoes are from last spring. The necklace was a Christmas gift from a coworker. (I wear it several times a week!)

A little project.

I've decided to take on a little project this week. (In addition to the giant book that I will start tonight.)

It's nothing terribly fancy. It was born out of my desire to play around with my camera and is also an exercise in vanity.

For this whole week, I'm going to be posting photos of what I wear each day. There's really no reason to do this. I just think it sounds fun. (I was inspired by Mighty Girl's recent series about other people's wardrobes.)

I'm very important and have very important things to do.

When I had my regular cell phone I was always rather annoyed by those people who would whip out their Blackberry or iPhone every 5 goddamn minutes to check their email or Facebook or WHATEVER. I thought it was kind of sad that people could not stand to be disconnected for even a moment. It seemed kind of ridiculous.

BUT THEN I GOT MY IPHONE AND I GET IT NOW.

Oh, boy do I get it. I heart it. We shall never be apart again, Internet. NEVER.

It's funny because it's true.

I actually watched it last night and this was exactly what I saw. I'm sort of jealous of Jon, because how awesome would it be to be able to just look into a camera and complain your face off? PRETTY AWESOME. I'd like to do it right now.

Anti/Pro

Yesterday I wrote something elsewhere about how sometimes I get really nervous about talking to people, even on the Internet. I do love people and I wish I was better at talking to them. I'm one of those people that likes to sit back and watch everybody else interact and try to figure people out a little bit before I actually interact. So I guess that makes me look anti-social. But I'm not. I'm pro-social. (Is that a thing? I don't think it's a thing.)

I'm just a different kind of social. The not talking all the time kind. Is that so bad?

Me Talk Pretty One Day

I went to see David Sedaris at a reading in Victoria at Bolen Books. Here's what happened.

The reading was scheduled to start at 7pm. We got there at 4pm. We had excellent seats, but there was a lot of waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. He arrived just after 7, and read a story that had been rejected by "This American Life", a work in progress that he thought wasn't quite working, and some entries from his diary. They were all completely hilarious and adorable. After the question period (in which people asked some REALLY STUPID SHIT) we all moved to the signing table at the back of the store. Since we had such great seats for the reading, this meant that we were pretty much at the back of the line for signing.

We waited for 3 hours. 3 HOURS. Things started off okay when we were in the fiction aisle. By the time we reached science fiction, things started to go downhill a little bit. We were all starting to get a little tired and crazy. As we winded our way into the final aisle of toys, we all went mental. Touching everything, playing with puppets, pointing out inappropriate phrases on boxes of toys (for example, a fort building kit that said, "Just add bedsheets for endless fun!").

When I could finally see him, I started to freak out a little bit. I had heard him asking people about what they did for a living. I panicked. What the hell was I going to tell him if he asked me that? I couldn't tell him what I do. I couldn't say that out loud. Not to David Sedaris. Oh crap.

Erin and I decided to work as a team, and went up together. (Read her experience here.) After incorrectly guessing her star sign, he guessed mine:

DS: "Sarah... cancer?"

Me: "YES! Whoa. You're good. How did you know?"

DS: "I lied before. I'm actually very good at these things."

Me: "That's amazing."

DS: "So, Sarah. What do you do?"

*Oh crap. Oh crap. Just say it. Just tell him. Don't freak out. It's the truth.*

Me: "I'm a writer."

*OH CRAP. OH CRAP. I JUST TOLD ONE OF MY FAVOURITE WRITERS THAT I AM A WRITER OH CRAP.*

DS: "That's great! What sort of things to you write?"

Me: "Well, for money I work in advertising."

DS: "Really? Oh! I have to ask you something. Have you heard of Zack Galifianakis?"

Me: "Yes! I just saw The Hangover last week. He's hilarious."

DS: "Okay. This is so great. Absolut Vodka hired him to create some ads for them. Have you seen them?"

Me: "No! That's crazy."

DS: "He agreed to do it under the condition that they had to use whatever he came up with. They are so bizarre. They're wonderful. So weird. You have to watch them. Here, I'm going to write this down for you. I don't want you to forget!"

Me: "Okay! They already sound awesome."

DS: "Make sure you watch them. It would be interesting to hear what someone in the ad business thinks of them."

Me: "I'll watch them right away! Thanks!"

DS: "Thank you for coming!"

AND THEN I FREAKED OUT A LITTLE.

You see, despite the fact that this is not my official job title, writing is a part of what I do. Writing is what I do when I'm NOT at work. Writing is what I do sometimes when I AM at work. I'm a writer. It's what I do. I've always been hesitant to tell people that. I've always felt like I'm not qualified to call myself a writer... but I am. I've never answered the "What do you do?" question that way before. I've never really said it out loud. So it was a big deal for me. Especially since the first time I ever said it was so someone I admire so very, very much.

Squee!

See? I'll never forget about these videos now:

They are really bizarre and hilarious, by the way. Check them out.

Also, here is my book! (Photo courtesy of Erin.)

Too much.

I'm not quite ready to sit down and write about it just yet, but I think I'll be ready tomorrow. Until then, enjoy these tidbits from Erin about the time we met David Sedaris. Yesterday. (Squee!)

Brought to you by...

At the end of the day, I looked down at my outfit and noticed something. Every single thing I was wearing came from the same store. American Apparel.

OHHHHHHHHHHH.

My dress, the shirt/dress thing I had to wear underneath my dress for modesty purposes because come on I'm a professional, my leggings and my scarf. All from American Apparel.

Shit. Now I'm worried that maybe I looked a little porny, despite being covered up. That's just what happens when you wear their stuff, right? Whatever. It's cool. I didn't have much dignity left anyways. Losing the last of it shouldn't make much of a difference.

I AM TOTALLY GOING TO GET A NEW iPHONE OH YEAH.

That is all.

PS: WOOOOOOOO!

Lazy Sunday

Today I won't put on any makeup. I'm going to let my hair air dry. I'm going to lie about in my Neil Diamond t-shirt. I'm going to eat eggs on toast. I'm going to do some laundry.

I'm going to have myself a delightful little Sunday.

Really.

Does anybody actually ever do any work in the last half hour before they go home? As soon as I see the clock hit 4pm, I've already mentally checked out. That's when I try to do all the stupid crap that you don't really have to think about. You know, stuff like checking your email 700 times. And drinking water very slowly. And opening and closing files. Important stuff.

*sniffle*

I'm sitting here watching So You Think You Can Dance and I'm getting far too emotional about the whole thing. This one dude finished the Mia Michaels choreography and when they let him through to the next round he TOTALLY STARTED SOBBING BECAUSE HE JUST REALLY LOVES DANCING SO MUCH. And then I was all OH MY GOD I JUST REALLY LOVE DANCING TOO and then maybe I started to tear up a little.

Then they were all "Oh, hey now we're going to do West Side Story." Which is why this show is awesome.

A refreshing change.

Upon my arrival at home from work, I stopped short before falling into my typical routine which is computer ON, television ON, brain OFF.

Instead, I wandered over to the giant stack of unread and half-read books on the floor beside my bed. I grabbed the top one and sat myself down in the giant armchair. Then I read. I read and read and read. Then I read some more. I finished the book.

I can't tell you how excited I am to have actually finished a book. Reading is something that used to be a huge part of my life, but in recent years I seem to have drifted from it. I'll start a book, get halfway through it, then abandon it for something new. The hours I used to spend reading have been replaced by sitting in front of a computer screen or a television. But no more.

I want to make this my summer of reading. I think my brain could use it. So could my soul. I'm going to get to work on the rest of the stack beside my bed. When I run out of things to read, I will come back and ask you for some suggestions. Or, feel free to offer some up now if you wish.

READING IS GOOD. IT MAKES ME BETTER AT THE THINKING. YAY READING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT.

You know how whenever you get a group of people together, someone always quotes Anchorman and then everyone laughs? (Seriously. It happens EVERY. TIME. ALWAYS.)

I did that by accident. I had a bit of a Brick moment.

There were lots of people in here and they were all talking at the same time. It made me very nervous and confused. So I said it, because I really didn't know what was going on:

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT."

Then everyone laughed.

So... yay? I'm still confused, but they think I'm HILARIOUS so I guess it's cool.