Sunday, January 08, 2006

Hello, world!

Welcome to the first posting here on my blog. I like it. Do you? Oh yes. So I thought I'd start things off by bringing to you, the two people who will read this (Yo Mom! What's the haps?) my top 5 moments of the first 2 weeks of January 2006!

Trust me, some pretty awesome shit went down during these weeks! Some of it I can't talk about at the moment for legal reasons... but we don't need to go there. So, let's just get right into it. Come on, bitches!

5. The time I co-wrote that song with Michael Stipe of REM fame.

This happened on New Year's Eve and it was AMAZING! I was sitting at the bus stop with my good buddy Lydia and we were talking about the song What's the Frequency Kenneth?". As you may know, the song was inspired by the time this dude tried to mug Dan Rather and yelled at him, "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?". I was talking about how I didn't really get the connection between the incident and the song... and how if I had written it, the lyrics would have been a far more literal interpretation of the events. It was at this point that in a moment of pure genius, I wrote my own lyrics to the song. It went a little something like this:

What's the frequency Kenneth?
Blah blah blah blah
Hey listen here Dan Rather
I'm gonna stab you good

We both really liked it a lot. I smell a remix coming on! Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

4. The time my 2 year old nephew called my brother a fuckhead on the bus.

Oh this was GOLD! I wasn't even there, but the events were relayed to me by my mom. So there's my brother and his son sitting on the bus, having a good time. My nephew turns and looks at my brother and says "Daddy, you're a fuckhead!" Lots of people heard him and laughed their heads off. Including my brother. Fucking HILARIOUS! I totally never even taught him to say that, even though I am kind of inclined to agree with the statement. HA!

3. The time when Fleetwood Mac totally blew my mind.

Fleetwood Mac, why do you rock so HARD? I just totally rediscovered the ol' Fleetwood Mac last week and it totally kicked my ass. If I can ever learn to play any of their songs on my guitar, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to marry any boy of my choosing. It would give me that much power. I can see it right now...

ME: "Hi cute boy. Did you know that I can play "The Chain" on my guitar?"

CUTE BOY: "Jesus, woman! You're incredible! Let's get married."

ME: "Word."

2. This.

I think this might be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I've become mildly obsessed with watching this one clip over and over... 15 times a day at least. I have also come to enjoy doing my own awesome version of this little dance number. My roommate thinks it's the funniest thing EVER to make me do this in our living room. And I agree with her. But if you think THAT'S funny you should have seen it last night when I took that shit to the streets!

Which actually brings us to the number one moment of the first two weeks of January 2006...

1. The time I saw Hilary Duff at Hamburger Mary's!!!! HILARY DUFF!!!!

I don't think I need to tell you why this was funny and INCREDIBLE!!! I don't even like her! She was totally sitting right beside us and the funny part was that it took us about 10 mins to realize it was her. We had been looking over at her table, but not cause we knew it was her... but because Lydia wanted to know what they were eating cause none of us could decide what to eat. When we finally did notice, we were totally casual about it... I wonder if they noticed how suddenly two people at our table were frantically text messaging? Probably not. It wasn't even obvious! Not at all.

This celeb spotting prompted me to come up with the following witty comments:

"Take THAT, Suzie Wall!"

"Yo! Hilary Duff! What's the haps? So I totally loved you in Cheaper By the Dozen... good career move, by the way." (NOTE: I did not actually speak to her... I was just thinking about what I would have said to her, and how anything I said would have sounded completely snotty.)

So I think this was all pretty awesome. Good times in the first two weeks of January 2006. Honourable mentions also go to:

The time when the singer from Elliot Brood totally wanted to marry me.


The time I made out with George Stroumbo(etc) and then married Jian Ghomeshi like half an hour later.

(NOTE: The above two events REALLY happened. I swear. Ask anyone. Especially Mike Reno from Loverboy. He will totally vouch for me on this one.)

Peace out, homies!


Anonymous said...

I'm telling mom.

sarah said...

You're telling mom? Telling her what?? That I'm HILARIOUS?!!?
'Cause she totally already knows.

Anonymous said...

like, omg, you guys are so hilarious