Wednesday, January 18, 2006

This is what the greatest chef in the world looks like.

Well, this is how she writes, anyways! I don't have a picture of myself being all amazing with the cooking yet, but just imagine. The reason I have not put a picture of myself being a chef is because I don't want you crazy internet people to start stalking me or anything. Nevermind the fact that if you are reading this, then you probably totally know me. Shut up. No pictures for now.

So ANYWAYS, I am the greatest chef in the world! I totally made a pizza from scratch tonight for dinner. FROM SCRATCH, BITCHES!! I made the dough and everything! I was amazing. And so was my pizza. I got rave reviews from Lydia, who was very excited about me making dough. You totally wish you were here.

I used my pizza stone to make it, and it's wicked awesome. What's that? You DON'T have a pizza stone? That's so sad. I've always wondered what it's like to be that lame. HA!

Ummmm... so yeah. It was the best pizza ever. It's like I'm secretly Italian so that's why I'm so good at it. But I'm totally not even Italian. I'm way German, yo.

In conclusion, I am the greatest chef in the world. Totally better than that Emeril fool! I don't do the yelling. But sometimes I do say "How do you like that one, bitches?" It's a way cooler catch phrase than "Bam!" Plus he totally stole "Bam!". Ever heard of the Flintstones, dude? Pffft.

I make some good pizza. You are totally jealous of my mad culinary skills. I love it. Ciao!


Anonymous said...

ps you're AWESOME. i mean, i don't even like pizza that much, and i loved this shit.

also, you should totally put a picture on, so when jian googles himself, he'll see you and fall in looove.

anyway, you'll never sell out and pitch toothpaste...or ice dance with media whores.

Anonymous said...

What was on the pizza? and who is Jian?

sarah said...

The delicious, delicious pizza had tomatoes, mushrooms, chorizo sausage and mozzarella. Yummy.

Jian is but one of my many imaginary boyfriends. He's got a radio how on CBC and he's always on CBC TV too. I love him. He is very man-beautiful.

sarah said...

Crap! Not a radio how. A radio SHOW. Damnit. Keyboards suck.