Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I never party like it's 1999, because I wasn't invited to any that year.

So today I got an email that I have been dreading since January.

"Hey guys, it's time to plan the High School Reunion!"

OH. SHIT.

I have two main issues with this. The first one being that I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I am old enough to attend one of these things. I'm still living like I'm 20 years old. But like, with way less drinking and having fun. Which brings me to issue number two: HIGH SCHOOL SUCKED.

I know what you're thinking. "But Sarah, you are clearly awesome and very attractive. How could you have possibly had a bad time in high school?"

Well friends, my swan transformation happened a little late. As in like, last month. I was not cute in high school. I was not awesome in high school. I played the freaking TROMBONE in high school. I had ugly glasses. I had bad skin. I hid my body under giant clothes. I knew more about musicals than perhaps would have been considered socially acceptable.

God, just writing that gave me flashbacks. High school is like my 'Nam or something. *shudder*

I sort of think I should go, just to show how much I have improved. But I can see that ending badly:

Me: "LOOK AT ME NOW, BITCHES."
Them: "Who IS that?"
My one friend who showed up: "That's Sarah."
Them: "Who the fuck is Sarah? I don't remember a Sarah."
Me: *sigh* "Fuck this. Let's go watch Grease again. I know all the words."

Maybe it would be easier if I had a hot boyfriend to drag along with me. But I don't. I don't even have an INTERNET BOYFRIEND. Well, not one that is aware of his boyfriend status, anyways.

So yeah. I have about 5 months to figure out how to deal with this. That means I have 5 months to flip flop on the issue before I decide not to go, or it could also mean that I have 5 months to become successful and boyfriend-ed.

I think you know how this is probably going to end up.

6 comments:

Erin said...

My reunion was cancelled because not enough people wanted to go. Including me.

Lydia said...

My school didn't even have one. I think only lame people go to those. Liz Lemon didn't have any fun.

Mina said...

Just invent post-its.

Billie Rock said...

High School Reunions have been appropiately replaced by facebook. I mean really, what's the point?

I didn't go to mine. They had a family picnic for all the mommies, daddies and their kids. I'm just to young for that.

brie said...

I didn't go to mine either. Actually, I had planned with a friend to deliberately miss it. By the time it rolled around she was in school full-time and wasn't able to get away, but I went to San Diego. Way better than a reunion.

iwatchthenba said...

you'll end up a lesbian at a tori amos concert?