Monday, April 10, 2006

Now THAT is something I could get on board with...

It appears as though has finally come up with some useful information. This little gem of a story.

The gist of it is that women who drink up to twice a day scored 20% higher on tests than non-drinkers... which basically means that moderate drinking helps women think.

Which is horrible news for men.

Why? Because, in theory, if I have 2 glasses of wine, the time in which it takes me to realise that you are a complete moron will be cut in half.

And most of us are already pretty darn good at moron-spotting, so perhaps it might be time for y'all to hold a meeting and re-vamp your sales pitch.

Unless you are this guy. He sells paper, and I would totally buy it from him because he's really cute. Plus he has that whole "What's up, I'm shy and funny" thing going on.
PS: I so totally don't need to buy paper. But I would. From him.

SO... now I have big plans for a new science experiment. I will have a couple of drinks and then read my old calculus textbook and see if I get anywhere with it this time around.

I'm betting that in 6 months MIT will be on the phone to me, saying "Come on, yo! We could really benefit from your sweet mathematical skills. Chomsky says he's totally stoked to hear your thoughts on communication theory."

"hmmmm... life really would be awesome times infinity if Sarah was here..."

Look out world, here I come!

Great idea #3455633335: Become an accountant so I can yell "Calculate THIS!" at people for no reason and have it be clever instead of just plain weird.


Embot said...

I agree. Shy and funny rules.

Dave said...

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Totally stolen from cheers.