Lights! Camera! Spandex!

In the year 1990, I was but 9 years of age. That did not stop me from knowing the difference between awesome and lame. Had I ever seen this in 1990, I would have thought, "AWESOME!" and I would have been 100% correct.

I am fully aware that there is probably only one other person out there who will watch this and have the same kind of freak out that I just did when I saw it. (I think you know who you are!) If this doesn't fill you with glee, then I don't know WHAT will. It's just that fantastic.




The song! The dancing! The incredibly tight spandex unitard hotpants! Wow.

If anyone is ever up for a Erasure concert, you just let me know. I am SO there.

I think I need to track down an mp3 of this. The morning commute will become totally awesome.

26 or 62? You be the judge.

If what they say is true about people becoming increasingly ornery as they age, then boy is my family in trouble as the years go on. I don't think I'm old enough to be this cantankerous.

Do you know anyone who irritates you SO MUCH that the mere sound of their voice is enough to cause you to tense up immediately? Maybe also causes your hands to form tight fists without you knowing it? I do.

EXAMPLE:

Just this morning I heard said voice and my whole body tensed up. As I listened, my jaw started to hurt a little... BECAUSE I HAD BEEN CLENCHING MY TEETH REALLY HARD FOR 5 MINS WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING. Upon realising this, I looked up with mean squinty eyes and thought to myself, "I would rather listen to the Eagles sing Desperado for 3 hours straight than to hear you speak for 5 mins... and I really fucking hate when the Eagles sing Desperado."

AND considering that those jerks are putting out a new album, I don't see how my stress level could possibly go down any time soon. GAH!

I've made a huge mistake.

In anticipation of staying up late at Odd Ball I went ahead and drank 2 cups of coffee... way the heck after my self-imposed cut off time of noon. In fact, this was done at 5pm and 7pm. It seemed like a great idea at the time.

However, around 11:30pm it really seemed to be wearing off. Maybe the dancing had made me tired? My eyes were seriously starting to rebel against the contact lenses I was wearing, so I jumped ship early and headed home.

Now I'm sitting here, yawning my face off at 1:20am, yet I still can't manage to go to bed. But I'm really tired. I really should have known better than to caffeinate with such reckless abandon.

I've made a huge mistake.

It's like that dream where you go to work naked...

I'm on hold with the bank right now. There is something so creepy about sitting here listening to Rod Stewart on the "on hold" music while someone is on the other end of the phone looking at your entire financial history. Not that there's anything horrifically bad in there, but still. It's kind of private!

Obviously I gave them my permission... but it still feels weird!

It's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun.

This weekend is going to be awesome. AWESOME, I SAY!

Tonight is a Guitar Hero party with my rad posse from work. I have been rocking out all week in preparation.

Tomorrow is Odd Ball! I had so much fun at the last one that I can't WAIT for this one! I think I am going to go as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. Yeah. I know. I'm cool. I just happen to own a pair of black shorts is all.

All of this excitement will be accompanied by an amazing soundtrack. One of my wicked awesome co-workers loaned me a 3 cd box set "The Clash on Broadway", which is essentially the entire Clash collection. Quite frankly, I'm over the moon about it! I can't wait to listen to the WHOLE THING. Which I will then follow up with a 5 disc box set of The Jam. This includes a cover of Curtis Mayfield's "Move on Up". HELLO! AWESOME MUCH?

Here, watch this. It is a bunch of rockers, totally rocking out. I love it.



I think I miss 1982. Like, a lot. *sigh*

Even BETTER!

Dear Sarah,

Your Single's Love Horoscope for October 24, 2007:

You're totally hilarious, and your personality's on fire today. The stars bless you with a knack for finding humor in the most bizarre situations. And guess what? Everyone's listening, especially that curious cutie.

Again, I think it meant to say "Dear Sarah, Here is your single's love horoscope for PRETTY MUCH EVERY DAY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

HAHAHAHA! See? It is already true because you just laughed at that.

These things are really good at telling you what you already know.

Thanks for the heads up.

Look what I found in my inbox this morning!

Dear Sarah,

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, October 24:

Your emotional nature is dominant today and you are that much closer to flying off the handle. Make sure that you avoid stressful situations and do your best to remain calm when you're provoked.


Ummmm, thanks tips. I think it was supposed to say, "Dear Sarah, Here is your horoscope for EVERY DAY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

The Anti-Sarah.

When one is a teenager, the number one cause of parental concern is when a kid up and dyes their hair dark.

Well, bitches better look out cause I just did that!

Ahhh, but don't worry. This is not a cry for help. I was only trying to colour coordinate. Now my hair matches my soul perfectly.

Shamalama-ding-dong.

Cold, rainy, stormy days like today make me realize just how much I love one particular group of friends of mine. Without their warmness and softness, I would be ever so cold and miserable. I love you guys. This one's for you!



I love you SWEAAAAAAATSHIRT. I don't have a red one at the moment, but I really do love my purple one. I love ALL of them. *sigh*

We heart coffee.

This morning I stopped in at Starbucks on my way to work to grab a London Fog (or earl grey tea misto with vanilla as they like to call it). Despite my desire to be able say that I hate it there because it's so corporate and uniform, I really can't. Because I kind of love it there. It is kind of nice to be able to be anywhere in the city and be able to get the exact drink you want, whenever you want it.

As I was sipping my tea at my desk, I decided to learn a little more about them. According to the wikipedia article, Vancouver has the most Starbucks locations than anywhere in the world. This didn't really seem shocking to me, because I know we seem to have a LOT of them around... but I was curious to see how many. So using the location finder on the Starbucks Canada website and typing in only "Vancouver, BC" as the location, I was actually kind of amazed at the number that popped up.

84. There are 84 Starbucks stores in this city alone. I'm only talking about Vancouver proper. This isn't even taking into account all of the stores in nearby cities like Burnaby, Richmond, North Van, etc. Within the borders of actual Vancouver there are 84 possible places for you to grab your favourite latte. (Actually, there are even MORE because that is not counting all those little ones inside Safeway!) That is slightly insane.

Just in the neighborhood I work in, there are 4 of them not too far apart. There's one at City Square, another one at Broadway and Heather, another one down the hill on 6th near Heather, and ANOTHER one on 2nd and Yukon! It's bananas! What I don't understand is WHY there are so many. Is it because they are greedy or because WE are incredibly lazy? Probably both. The good news is that if they continue to expand, we may never hear conversations such as this ever again:

Guy: "There's a Starbucks across the street. Let's go get a coffee."
Other Guy: "Jesus, we have to cross the street? UGH."

No wonder people make fun of this place. We are kind of ridiculous.

Like I really needed another reason to love Denis Leary...

So I'm watching Rescue Me, and who happened to just pop up on the show? AMY SEDARIS! She's so friggin hilarious. If you don't watch the show, this is yet another reason why you totally should. Awesome.

Curling - it rocks the house. Heh. Get it? Rocks the house? Heh.

Tonight, I curl. And for those who laugh about curling, may I present to you this.... concrete proof that curling is friggin awesome and totally not for 80's style nerds:



You know that in 1895 those bitches were the coolest cats in Manitoba. And that part about drinking beer afterwards? Totally true.

There goes the neighborhood.

I was 7 years old when my parents decided to sell our house in a shady neighborhood in East Van and move on to greener pastures. They wanted to raise us in a safer kind of place... so we moved to Surrey. (Ha!)

For the next several years they had to defend their choice to friends and relatives. "It's not like we live in Whalley..." That was kind of true. Our neighborhood was pretty nice and safe. Full of lots of families and not too many vagrants. However, as I got older I noticed that the Whalley grossness was slowly moving closer to us. It was big news around town the first time a hobo showed up in front of the Superstore. We never really had to deal with crime in the area or anything like that.

So it is kind of crazy that 19 years after making the move out to Surrey, it has finally happened: somebody stole my Dad's car!

I don't think he really cares all that much. I bet he's already been looking for a new car! Everybody wins, I guess.

Oh, Surrey. You are just so crazy sometimes.

Lazy = awesome.

Today is Sunday, otherwise known as the day that I visit my parents and do laundry. Since I saw them yesterday I'm not going out there to visit. That still leaves me with laundry to do though. Meh. I keep looking at the heap of clothes sitting on my floor that are begging me to wash them... and I really don't feel like doing it. But I will. Because I don't want to wear ugly pants to work all week.

So far this day has been great. It's nearly 2pm and I am still in my jammies. I've watched 2 episodes of the Sopranos, and eaten lunch.

I friggin love Sunday. It is the one day of the week where it is deemed as acceptable to be a complete lazy ass. Heck yeah! But I really must be going now. I should really get dressed, seeing as it is so late. I'm so wearing sweatpants. HA!

Laaaa la la la la wait till I get my money right...

IF my money was right at this very moment in time I'd whip on over to the Ticketmaster website and buy me some friggin Kanye tickets. KANYE! Oh how I would LOVE to see that show. I love him. And would love to be that annoying girl who has the seats in front of you and blocks your sight lines because she won't stop busting out all those kickass dance moves which all involve complex arm movements.

Yeah. You know you'd love it too.

I would wear a gold chain with HUGE gold pendants hanging off of it. And maybe a hat. And pink eyeshadow.

IF my money was right.

Instead I'll probably just stay home and wear sweatpants. But on the bright side, I now have a new theme song to sing whenever I get home:

"laaaa la la la wait till I get my sweatpants on..."

So close, yet so frickin' far...

This morning I had wicked good bus karma. When I got to the first bus stop, I only had to wait a few mins before the bus came. When it got there, it was totally empty so I got a seat. Score! That almost never happens. It was awesome. Then when I got off the bus at Cambie, I managed to cross the street just in time to hop right on my second bus... which also had plenty of seating! Double score! Normally the Cambie bus fills up pretty quick, so by the time you get to 18th, you are packed in there like sardines... but not today.

The bus pulled up to a stop with a line of people at it. The doors opened and the second person to step on the bus just happened to be the most adorable boy I have ever seen. I call him my bus crush. I can never talk to him because the bus is always so full that when I am at the back, he is at the front. But not today. As soon as he stepped on the bus I looked around and grinned when I noticed that the seat next to me was empty. I looked up and watched as he walked towards the back of the bus... and sat down... RIGHT BESIDE ME!

I started to freak out a little. This beautiful boy is sitting beside me. His arm is touching my arm. How do I look? I'm wearing a hat. Everyone seems to think the hat looks cute on me, so this is good. I finally compose myself and decide to say something. Anything. I have to say something. I turn around with a smile on my face prepared to ask some asinine observation about public transit when I notice that he is wearing an iPod. An iPod. How is he ever going to fall in love with me if he never talks to me because of that damn iPod???

I made some sort of scrunched up face and turned back around. Instead of moping about it like I normally would I smiled again. Why? Because his arm is touching my arm... and I still have 2 stops left before I have to get off the bus. *sigh*

What a FOOL believes... (is that Michael McDonald is awesome.)

I think Paul Rudd really had a point in 40 Year Old Virgin... is it really necessary to play so much Michael McDonald in the workplace?

Something tells me that no, it is not necessary at all.

Pfffft.

Holiday math.

This mulitplied by 2:

















equals: I think I'm going to throw up.

Man alive.

Tell me something I DON'T know...

Okay, seriously. How shitty is Nickelback???

I think Def Leppard should sue them for effing up the Google search results for "photograph lyrics". Because let's be honest... as if this:

...is any comparision to the supreme awesomeness that is this:

I think Nickelback may slowly become the new Aaron Neville. That's unfortunate for them, because there is a slight chance that I could totally run into Chad Kroeger when I am downtown shopping for jeans in the ladies section. Then I would have to kill him. Too bad for that guy!

"That's Andrea, the office bitch."

Today whilst at a work related event where drinking is encouraged (and paid for... yes, I get those.) I had at least three people make the same comment to me. It struck me as slightly odd. Here is what they said:

"Sarah? Get mad? Be angry? I can never imagine that happening!"

The first time I responded with, "Wow. Do I never talk to you at work? Cause I am always pissed off. Like, seriously all the time."

"Really? I never see it. You always look happy and seem to be in a good mood."

"Wow, I must hide it REALLY well, cause I'm effing MISERABLE."

Then they all laughed... because I am hilarious.

I kind of thought that I had been making it pretty obvious how pissed I was. Oh well. The awesome thing I learned here is that people seem to think I'm rather pleasant and nice. So when I blindside them with my cruel manipulations and evil schemes it will be so much more enjoyable... because they will have never seen it coming. MUAHAHAHHA!

PS: Here is a hilarious random quote I overheard at some point in my day, said by a lady:

"I hate that guy. I'd like to pull his scrotum up over his head. That'll teach him."

Wow. Graphic. I'd never even say that.

Update.

It has been about two full weeks since I first changed my email notification sound on my work computer to this.

And it still makes me laugh my head off EVERY TIME.

Seriously. I get a lot of emails, people. A lot.

I bet this never happens in Florida...

One of the key things you look for when looking for an apartment are the words "utilities included". This means that heat and water costs are included in the rent... theoretically.

I am presently in one of those "utilities included" kind of situations. So why are my feet turning blue from the SEVERE LACK OF HEAT UP IN THIS BITCH?

Arrrrrgh. I just really don't want to have to wear 4 pairs of socks. It's not like an attractive single man is about to pop by randomly and see me wearing them... but still. You never know...

It's a matter of principle.

Am I asking too much? After all, it is fall.

Sarah here, reporting live from the shitstorm...

Today at work is stupidly busy. Like, and INSANE kind of busy. I am taking 5 mins to eat my lunch at my desk. Arrgh. This is pretty much all that has been getting me through this day:




You're goddamn fucking right I saw Def Leppard last night. My arm is a little sore from all the fist pumping.

So yeah, listening to Animal over and over again is awesome... as is listening to Biz Markie sing "Bennie and the Jets" and forget all the words. Bitchin.

Back to work. Frig.

You got something I like...

I love this song.




Alright, will.i.am. You can have your street cred back... but on a TEMPORARY BASIS ONLY. I'll monitor your progress for the next 3 months and we can discuss having it fully reinstated at a later date. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not going to be easy. But you can thank "My Humps" for that one.

Hey, buddy!

When you meet new people there is always this weird kind of social dance you have to go through before you become official friends. It can often be quite complicated and difficult to navigate, because if you muck it up they will run off and tell everyone they know about how big of a jerk you are. And then how will you ever make new friends? You won't, not with that crowd. You will have to move on to a new group, where you could potentially eff that up too. It's tricky business.

Typically this all starts when you encounter a new person the first time after you have first met them. This is where your people reading skills can really screw you over. So you are walking down the street or wherever, and you notice the new person. What do you do? How do you deal with this. Wave or not wave? Say hi or not say hi? Friendly smile? Witty elevator comment about the weather? Inquire as to when Friday will be arriving? It's just so confusing. Make the wrong move and an entire social circle will hear about how much of a spaz you are.

This happened to me this morning. I was walking down the street and I spotted the new person. Right away I thought, "Crap! What do I do?" Then there was the weird moment when you both know that you have recognized each other. You can actually see them going through the same thought process as you. I paused for a moment, trying to gauge the situation... and then... I get the wave. So I smiled and waved back and thought to myself, "Yeah that's right new kid. You so want to be my friend."

And who wouldn't want to be friends with this winning combination of self-deprecating humour, false arrogance and biting wit? As an added BONUS, I will totally write about you on the Internet!

Just remember, you would have been nowhere if it hadn't been for that 3rd wheel on your tricycle.

Nearly all of my friends are totally or "sort of" encoupled at the moment. That's pretty neato. That makes me the Bridget Jones... except for the fact that there really aren't any attractive men with fantastic accents competing for my affections and telling me that they enjoy the fact that I am a little bit pudgy. BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SURE THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO ANYBODY. EVER.

But I digress.

When you are the token singleton in any group of friends, they always seem to think it is necessary to find you a mate. That's not the weird part. I've grown used to that. What I have noticed though, is a disturbing new trend... which is that other single friends of mine are starting to utter that famous phrase, "We need to find you a boyfriend."

I know I've whined about my friends who are in relationships saying that to me all of the time, but at least I can kind of see why they say it. Married/serious relationship types are kind of like communists or members of Greenpeace, in the sense that they really believe in the cause and will gladly spend ages telling you about how great it is and why you should give it a try. This I can sort of understand.

But what I am not clear on is why my fellow loners would be so quick to sell me out like that. I thought we were part of a team! Is it just instinct to say that when you meet a single girl? I just don't get it. Nowhere is safe anymore!

It's okay though, because who doesn't want to constantly recreate that feeling of being the only one at a wedding without a date? I don't know about you, but I thoroughly enjoy explaining why I am ALL ALONE to an assortment of random people, 17 times over. Good times. Am I right???

It's hard out there for a pimp...

You know, with all the worrying about trying to get your money from the hos who won't give it to you, dealing with the fuzz and making enough money to look fly... it's a lot of stress! Who needs that? Not me, man. Not me. What was I getting at? Oh yeah.

SO ANYWAYS... it is not only hard out there for pimps, but it is hard out there for nerdy white girls who like hip hop music. Really. It is.

On one hand, I love science. I love learning about chemicals, computers and biology. I love reading about genetics and randomly deciding to study new languages. I'm a pretty huge nerd. I admit it, and I am proud of it. I flaunt it by wearing nerd glasses and loudly discussing science in public.

But then there is the other part of me. The part of me that just wants to dance and rhyme about how hard it is on the streets. Cause it's friggin hard, man. Growing up in the suburbs can really harden a kid. And give them a seriously hardcore sense of rhythm, which makes for awesome hip hop and tap dancing skills.

Do you think maybe this is why I'm still single? You know, because I'm just so darn complex? Yes... that's why. That's totally why.

OMG!!!! IT IS TOTALLY FRIDAY!!!

*ahem*



Probably the first and only time I will ever say that R. Kelly's words echo my exact sentiments. BUT THEY DO.

Gotta go. Beer to drink. Love you!

Do they even realize?

When you look a little nerdy on the outside like I do, you often wonder if people can ever tell how friggin cool you really are without talking to you.

When I am on the bus I often think that the people around me probably think I'm just your regular type glasses wearing nerd. But they don't even know.

I mean, I'm going to see Def Leppard next week.

That right there just proves how cool I am.

The one time Ryan Seacrest didn't piss me off.

Dudes. Last night I watched the Emmy's and the craziest thing happened... it made me laugh.

This right here was one of the funniest and most awesome things I have ever seen on an awards show. I love it.



So great. The best parts are when Rainn keeps flowin and bursts out with "Let's get lost tonight, you can be my Black Kate moss tonight..." and at the very end when Kanye is all sad... "I never win." Ohhhhhhhhh, Kanye. You'll always be a winner in my eyes.

Mama's got a squeezebox.

Thanks to CBS, the following conversation from last Friday will be replayed in my head every time I hear a song by the Who:

*Baba O'Riley starts playing on the stereo*

ME: "Which fucking CSI is this one?"
DAVE: "Oh Jesus."
ME: "I know! They've ruined it. But seriously... which one? Is it the one with the annoying dude that quotes Poe and shit, the one with Gary Sinise or the one with fucking Horatio? I always get them mixed up."

Dave then went on to tell me about this clip from Two and a Half Men... but don't let that stop you from watching it! It is seriously hilarious to those who have ever thought "CSI!" upon hearing a Who song.



Ohhhhhhhh, CBS. If you are okay with mocking yourselves, then I am okay with you.

Mom, she called me the H word!

A little while ago I was talking to my mom and sister about somethingorother, and we started talking about Main street. My sister scoffed and said that she hated shopping there because of a certain type of person that frequents these particular shops. When I asked her what she meant, she responded, "Hipsters. You're a hipster, you should know."

GASP!

I lost it. "WHAT??? Why would you say that to me?? I am SO not one of THEM."

I have always hated being associated with THAT WORD. To me it implies snobbery and arrogance... which is kind of weird, considering that many of them appear to have gotten their clothes from the dumpster. (Not all of them... but you know who I'm talking about.)

Why would she think I'm like that? I suppose I dress in a similar manner. I typically do have mod-ish haircuts... and lord knows I love some new wave music. But am I a total elitist jerk about it?

I just don't know how to reconcile being so annoyed by something that I may actually be.

Maybe it's the nerd glasses? *sigh*

I'm really not into Arcade Fire at all, if that helps.

Rock-a-bye, grown up.

Once you hit your twenties, you will find that as the years edge you closer to thirty the frequency of events that force you to act like a grown up and make sensible decisions will increase. It is your basic line graph, really. When these little situations occur, you are forced to think about how it is inevitable that you will actually eventually become a real live grown up.

Not all of these events are necessarily big in significance. On the weekend, Dave and I were hanging out and playing Scrabble. When we play Scrabble, we usually like to have a soundtrack to accompany the game. On this particular evening, it was 4 separate Rolling Stones albums. We got to talking about how much we both love the Stones, and how we had both only really started to appreciate them in recent years.

It is because the Rolling Stones is what you listen to when you are coming to grips with the fact that you are growing up.

When I was in high school, I was all about the Beatles. This makes perfect sense. When you are in high school you are thinking about how great life is going to be when you get out into the world and really start to discover things. The music of the Beatles has a sort of whimsy to it... when you listen to it, it is all kind of just lovely and magical. It makes you think of hopes and dreams.

Then when you are heading into your mid-twenties, you start having to deal with things. You have to make choices. You have to work, you have to make money, and you have to pay the darn rent. You start to realise that life is real. Life is sometimes messy and dirty. It is around this time that you start to discover the Rolling Stones.

The Stones are not about hopes and dreams. The Stones are about wants and needs. They have a grittiness to them that you can't really understand fully until you are a bit older and have seen a little more. When you are twenty-something, you don't want to sit back and imagine. You want to frigging rock. You want dirty, real rock. I think the anthem of my twenties so far has been, "You Can't Always Get What You Want". The older I get, the more I understand how true that really is.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the Beatles. I always will. The Beatles are all about love, and sometimes that's nice to hear. But the Stones? They aren't about love. You know what they are about. Right now, hot, sweaty, sexy rock music is just far more appealing.

I don't have time to dream anymore... I only have time to rock. Get 'er done.

The whole thing smacks of effort...

Today I feel sickly. I just did not want to get out of bed today. For starters, my legs were feeling mighty stiff today, on account of all the hardcore fricking curling skills I busted out last night at my curling clinic.























Curling is all about lunging and bending over. That is tricky business. Hence all of the hurting.

Curling is awesome. Awesome, yet totally fricking hard. I went into the whole thing feeling a little cocky. The instructors were all, "Today we are going to learn ___, ___ and _____. You may find it to be a little tricky." I was all, "Child, please. I totally curled like, 2 times. Whatevs."

And then I had to actually to the drills... Which mostly consisted of lunging like 20 thousand times in a row on the same leg. Ouchies! By the time I got around to actually throwing a rock, I was in a fair bit of pain, but managed to look like somewhat graceful. Woot.

HOWEVER... the soreness of my body is not the only problem today. Despite having a fairly decent sleep I feel SO TIRED. I got a coffee this morning to help me out, but it only made me feel worse. All day my tummy has felt not so good, my body feels not so good and I am so tired that I can barely focus on anything. I feel like throwing up could definitely be in my future. YAY!

I have another curling session tonight. I paid $30 for this thing, so unless actual vomit happens between now and then, I am showing up. But I will NOT try very hard. Just like Britney circa Sunday night and Santana since the 90's, I'm totally phoning it in.

PS: Hey BLOGGER, if you do not stop effing up my formatting every damn time I post a picture, imma hit you. Right in the face. For serious.

Damnit, George!

Apparently George Clooney has a new girlfriend. Apparently the world is a cruel, cruel place.

Her name is Sarah. (MY NAME IS SARAH.) She is 28. (I AM 26.) She has a joe job... as a waitress. (I HAVE A JOE JOB.)

LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

If there was ever a reason to start working out and putting on makeup in the morning, THIS IS IT.

Traffic (the band) is cool. Traffic (the kind with cars) is not.

Whew! Yesterday I had quite a busy day! This involved driving to Metrotown to get a stupid ink tag removed from a shirt I bought there last week (holy ANNOYING), then driving out to Coquitlam centre to go to H&M with Steph (yay! I loved it. LOVED IT.) and THEN going from Coquitlam to meet Dave in Richmond!

This was a lot of driving. It was craziness! I learned some things about myself on this wild and crazy journey. Mostly that a) I don't understand Burnaby, b) I don't understand Coquitlam, and c) I REALLY don't understand Richmond.

There were a few wrong turns, only a slight bit of frustration, and a LOT of singing in the car. It was totally worth it though. I got to shop (yay!), eat delicious fish and chips in Steveston at Pajo's, and get a guided walking tour of Steveston with Dave! Pretty sweet day, if you ask me.

My parents have taught me well.

I took a day off work today, just because I can. I went out for a bit this morning and came home to make myself a caramel latte (yummmmmm) and watch The Rockford Files. It's kind of the best show EVER.

It just so happened that when I turned it on today, it was an episode from Season 4 guest starring one Mr. Rick Springfield! Amazing! He played this spoiled British rockstar and was kind of unintentionally hilarious. Also involved in the plot of the episode were some crazy mafia types from New Jersey. I wanted to check it out and see if it really was Rick Springfield, so I looked it up on wikipedia... sure enough, it was him! But that is not the coolest thing I learned about this show. Do you know who was a main writer for the Rockford Files? David Chase! (Of Sopranos fame.) Now that I know this, it kind of makes sense. Rockford was always a cool hybrid of comedy/drama/action... and so is the Sopranos. He's just so darn clever.

I loves me some Rockford. I think "must love Rockford Files" is a new requirement that must be fulfilled by all potential new buddies.



So, how about it? Wanna have a Rockford party? We can drink everytime he gets annoyed.

So PETA apparently controls fate.

It was not long after I had written about eating ribs that I moved in a weird way and put a rib out of place in my back.

The irony was not lost on me, I assure you.

But I'm still not sorry I did it. They really were delicious.

Today is not your day, mammalian farm creature.

I like to eat eat lots of vegetarian meals, just because I feel like I am a healthier person when I eat less meat. I've never really been crazily carnivorous anyways, so it's not really a big deal. Technically since I ate chicken yesterday I probably shouldn't eat meat today... but that is so not happening.

I'm eating ribs for dinner. And I ate them for lunch. SORRY FARM CRITTERS, YOU LOSE.

I feel very little remorse, on account of the ribs being so delicious. You can blame it all on my sister because she's the one who made them.

Mmmmmmmmm. BBQ.

Babies, learning how to rock a party and getting a new roommate.

Whew! Yesterday was a little busy. I went to the wedding of Steph's sister Danielle to fulfill my duties as chief baby wrangler for one Miss Ella. Poor little Ella was sick, so she was a little cranky. I ended up spending the whole ceremony standing outside with a baby strapped to the front of me via a snuggly. (It was a Catholic ceremony... so it was pretty long!) I seriously don't understand how moms wear those things for so long. My back and shoulders were KILLING ME after less than an hour!

When we got to the reception, I found out that not only was I in charge of cuing up the music for the official things like the first dance and whatnot, but I was in charge of ALL the music! So much pressure! I made it my mission to make these people dance, and damnit, I tried! Overall, I think I did a pretty good job for a first time DJ... especially considering I was armed only with a cd player. There was only one incident due to a mislabelled cd (which was made by the groom, so TOTALLY not my fault) which resulted in "A Little Less Conversation" playing for the beginning of the father/daughter dance. Totally not my fault.

In the end, I ended up having spent tons of time with cute babies, dancing with Steph's awesome family, playing all my favourite music, AND leaving the party with my new roommate in tow. His name is Potsie and he is a Fighting Fish who lives in a vase! He was a centrepiece on the tables... and now he is my buddy. If you have any tips on the care of these lil guys, I'd like to hear them. I want him to live for a long time!

Even Nazi Germany has to deal with inflation.

I'm sure I must have mentioned this to you before, but the man who takes care of the vending machine in my office looks pretty much exactly like Hitler. I wish I was lying about this, but I assure you I am not. It is so creepy. When I see him in the mornings, I actually RUN away and avoid making eye contact. My instincts tell me that I am very likely to have problems dealing with a man who intentionally trims his moustache in such a manner. I mean come on, HOW DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING??? He knows. He knows he is Hitler in a track suit.

ANYWAYS, last month he raised the price on chocolate bars from $1.00 to $1.15. Everyone was pretty pissed off about it. It wasn't a big deal to me, since I don't normally use the vending machine because despite being German, there are some things I just can't support. (LIKE HITLER!) But this afternoon I was feeling really very sickly and tired and sluggish, so I thought a sugar rush was in order. I ended up buying a Kit Kat bar. It wasn't until I bit into it that I realized how mad I was about paying the extra $0.15. I mean, it was okay... but hardly worth $1.15! I'd say $0.85 tops would be a fair price for mass produced, morally questionable chocolate!

So basically what happened here is that I am back to square one, because I still hate Hitler Jr. for raising the prices... despite the fact that without him I wouldn't have any chocolate at all. Whatever.

PS: I am also upset that during the entire time I was eating my Kit Kat that no one came into my office to ask me any inane questions. I was hoping they would so that I could point to the Kit Kat and say, "Can't you see? I'm taking a BREAK." Then we both would have laughed. Then I would have said, "No, seriously. Piss off."

I just called... to say... your song SUCKS.

I loves me some Stevie Wonder, let me tell you. Uptight is seriously an amazing song. Higher Ground? Forget it! So good! And Superstition... well, you know how effing awesome that song is. I don't even need to tell you. It is just one of those things that everybody in the world knows and accepts as fact. Stevie Wonder is kind of amazing. Except for that one error in judgement he made in 1984...

Or as it more commonly referred to as, "I Just Called to Say I Love You".

I know it was the 80's. Who didn't make questionable choices during that time? Republicans were everywhere, it was a very confusing time for all of us. But still. That's not really a good enough excuse for this.

I suppose the lyrics are kind of cute... they make you think of like... love and crap... but like maybe more like platonic love. Like how nice it is to just ring up your spinster great Aunt to tell her you love her (because lord knows she doesn't hear it that often). So I GUESS it is kind of nice... my problem isn't really with the lyrics. It is with the music.

Take away the vocal track. What do you have? A MIDI FILE. That is what this shit sounds like. It's bloody awful. Don't get me wrong, I love drum machines and synthesizers. But not like this. Maybe it would have been okay if he had used a guitar? Or an actual piano? Or a better melody? I don't know.

Every time I hear it, I try to convince myself that maybe it isn't total crap... maybe it is decent enough to be forgiven? But then you get to the end, which really just ruins any shred of credibility the song could have ever had... CHA CHA CHA! Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Stevie. Cha cha cha? You should have known better. You really should have known.

Question:

Top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go.
Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?

Country, Bluegrass, Blues and Other Music For Uplifting Gourmandisers

Hilly Kristal died yesterday. If it were not for this man, I very well may have turned out to be an entirely different person than I am today. How so?

Hilly was the founder of CBGB's... which is basically the birthplace of the American punk scene of the 70's. If he had never let The Ramones play there, then I very well may have never heard of them. Or Blondie. And had I not ever heard Blondie, I wouldn't have discovered my love for the Talking Heads. Had I not ever listened to the Talking Heads, I probably wouldn't have discovered New Wave music at all... which lead me to Depeche Mode, Squeeze, Erasure, and Duran Duran. I could keep going from here, but I think you get the point.

The music that came out of CBGB's ended up being pretty important to me, despite the fact that I wasn't even born yet when it all started. Discovering early punk was the thing that got me through adolescence. It's just the kind of music you like to hear when you are 16 and annoyed with everything in general. I kept thinking that maybe once I finally escaped the trappings of high school, I might be able to be half as cool as Debbie Harry. I don't know if it really worked out that way, but I still idolize the woman. (And every time I get a haircut, I briefly think about asking for Debbie Harry bottle blond.)

I always wanted to go to CBGB's to see the nastiness with my own eyes. Sadly, I still haven't made it to NYC, and it's long gone now. I guess I'll just have to order my t-shirt off the Internet. *sigh*

Thanks for helping to make me so hardcore and rebellious, Hilly. Rock on.

I hate society for making him famous and successful.

Every time I hear his name my face scrunches up and my eyes become filled with hate.

Every time I hear his voice I shudder and my entire body shakes with rage.

Every time I see his stupid face I wish I could roundhouse kick him in the head.

He is the devil.

He is Aaron Neville.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got stuck listening to the mom station today at work. The mom station seems to be rather fond of his "songs". I was having a nice day. I played Mah Jong and drank a pumpkin spice latte. And then it happened.

"I don't knooooooooow much. But I know I looooooove youuuu-oooooooouuu-ouuuuuuuuuu."

GAME OVER FOR THE GOOD TIMES I WAS HAVING. It is like some weird psychological trigger for me. I hear his disgusting lady singing and I fly into a rage. But seriously. Can you blame me?

In an effort to calm myself down, I have spent some time on youtube watching videos where people openly mock him. It really did make me feel better. Here is my favourite:

The Aaron Neville megaphone! Makes you sound like a douche!



I hate him so much. Aaron Neville ruins lives. That is a fact.

Big news!

I bet you are expecting me to say something really crazy now, aren't you? Something like, "I won a million dollars!" or "I'm moving to Toronto!" or "I talked to a boy!". And I am about to do just that. Something big happened today. This news is going to rock your world harder than that one dude who rocks so hard. (You know who I'm talking about, right? You know... that guy...) ANYWAYS, here it is. Are you ready? Okay. The big huge crazy awesome news is...

THAT PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES ARE BACK AT STARBUCKS!

Wooooooooo! I totally just got one this morning! It was an unexpected joy. I totally thought I was going to have to wait another week or two. But I don't. YEAH!

It's all about the small things in life, kids. The small things.

The suburbs are a goldmine.

I must say, I had myself quite the nice little weekend. On Friday night I took my sister along with me to see Blue Rodeo at Malkin Bowl. It was simply lovely. After all the intense rocking we did the day before at the ZZ Top show, it was a nice way to wind down and cruise into the weekend.

On Saturday I made a yummy squash, apple and roasted red pepper soup or dinner and then went and hung out with Steph and baby Ella. That kid is the cutest. Plus, I think she kinda likes me! I was a bit worried for a bit there when she was younger, but now she seems to have no problems with hanging out and sitting with me. Yay! I really love being an aunt... even though I am not *technically* her aunt. Who cares! We have fun.

On Sunday I drove out to the burbs to see my parents. My mom asked me to walk up to visit her friend Celeste with her so I could see her new house. I got the grand tour from Celeste and then was bombarded with questions about what sort of things I might need for my apartment. Do I need a microwave? Cheese grater? Basically everything in the world that you might put in a house. They have a lot of stuff that they are trying to get rid of. I kept saying no until she mentioned one thing... "Do you want an espresso maker?"

HECK YES, I WANT AN ESPRESSO MAKER!

She then went rummaging around in the garage to find it, pulled it out and cleaned it all up, even thought my mom and I both said that we could just do it ourselves. So we sat and ate Portuguese pastries while it ran through the dishwasher. When it was all cleaned up, she wanted to show me how to use it. So we pretended like we were making a coffee. But Celeste decided that wasn't quite the same, so she informed me that she was making me a latte and I was going to watch. It was sooooooooo yummy and seems to be pretty easy too! So yeah... I can now make delicious fancy coffees without even leaving my house! How rad is that? SUPER RAD.

Back at my parents house I was talking to my mom about making soup when she whipped out this kosher soup cookbook and told me to take it. She said that since I like to keep kosher every now and then that it made her think of me when she bought it and that I should keep it. Again, totally rad!

THEN my dad's friend Terry was over and we got to talking about the Sopranos. I am only on Season 4, but he told me that I could totally borrow seasons 5 and 6! SWEEEEEET.

So I arrived back home last night with all of the necessary equipment to make a wicked awesome evening:

I can now watch the Sopranos while I eat kosher soup and sip espresso from little cups just like Tony does. I am one happy girl. YAY!

And they came by the thousands... all from Surrey.

Imagine if you will, spending an evening listening to sweet music in the following order:

You start with this:



Then you add this:



... and you finish it up with this:



Add in the fact that you are actually seeing it LIVE and you've got yourself quite an awesome little evening!

I was seriously amazed by how awesome these bands still sound. Chrissie Hynde is a rock goddess! She still looks and sounds amazing... must be the vegetarian diet! The fact that I saw hilarious mullets, 2 fights and a real life AC Slater only made it more awesome. Jealous much? Yeah. I thought so.

Sam's Town

This morning Brie posted a link to an article in the Globe & Mail about the Vancouver civic strike. I can't believe it has been 5 weeks already! Though I guess if you look at the pile of recycling that is growing in my house it kind of does look like 5 weeks.

However, I'm more than willing to deal with piles of recycling if it means that people will finally get a fair deal... and more so if it means sticking it to the man!

So this one is for all my peeps that are on strike right now... roll on, kids! ROLL THE FRIG ON!




I'm not in a union, but I come from a union family. My mom's a Teamster! They don't mess around.

My life revolves around fibre optic cables.

If you had called me at work today, I might have said, "Sorry, can't talk right now. Busy doing nothing."

Because that is what I did all day. Seriously nothing. All thanks to the fine folks doing Canada Line construction who drilled through a Telus line on Sunday. Wooooooooo!

I couldn't even get on the internet! IT WAS HORRIBLE! May you never know such anguish.

I'm so glad I'm home now. Home with my internet and cable. Awwww yeah.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I secretly wish that one day I will be out walking around and will happen upon this exact scene. It would bring tears of joy to my eyes.


Buskers, this is how you make the big bucks.

Beepity beep beep beep to you too!

Sometimes a kid just feels like eating toast at 10:30pm whilst watching the Hills. So I made some. In the toaster oven. And I totally burned it.

Smoke filled the kitchen... and I knew what was coming... BEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The fire alarm went off! That sucker is loud! I managed to get it to shut up pretty quickly, so I aired out the room and ate the burnt toast.

Then my landlord came knocking at the door:

LL: "Is everything okay?"
Me (with a mouthful of toast): "Yep, it's cool."
LL: "Did the smoke alarm go off by itself again or was it just burnt toast?"
Me: "Just toast!"
LL: "Oh good! I'm glad it's not broken again."
Me: "No need to worry. It's just my pathetic kitchen skills!"

At least I can admit these things.

Now THIS is how you fight censorship...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, man. So friggin funny.

How to have an awesome Friday afternoon.

Step 1: Leave work early.

Step 2: Pick up the following items on the way home:
- chicken burrito
- crazy new flavor of Fanta

Step 3: Arrive at home and turn on the tv.

Step 4: Eat the burrito/Fanta lunch of amazingness whilst watching the end of The Rockford Files.

Step 5: Laugh hysterically when at the end, Rockford thinks everything has worked out fine... but then he makes a hilarious face when he gets a harsh DISS after all.

Step 6: Watch Magnum PI!!!!!!!

That's as far as I have gotten so far... but frig, it has been totally awesome.

Detroit PBS is my homeboy!

Everyone is all, "Whoa the Ceeb is so awesome." and I must say, they are not totally wrong in saying so. Public broadcasting is alright, man. But there is one thing I must say about CBC television... it's no Detroit PBS.

Detroit PBS is wicked awesome. They are always doing pledge drives where they play the most amazing music-related programming. It's so good. Like "No Direction Home" which is a documentary about Bob Dylan directed by Martin Scorsese... reruns of Fleetwood Mac's "The Dance" and Ken Burns' "Jazz". Yeah, I saw that all on Detroit PBS!

Two days ago I flipped over there and came across this little gem... "Johnny Cash: A Man and His Vision". It is a bunch of old performances from the TV show he had from 1969 - 1971. There were some amazing clips! CCR, Derek and the Dominoes... and this lovely little surprise here. It was the first time I have ever seen/heard this version of this song, and I totally love it. I was swooning a little in my living room. It's just lovely. So here it is for your viewing pleasure, Ray Charles singing "Ring of Fire".




Seriously... how great is that? I love you, Detroit PBS! You are the best EVAR.

No facebook? Denied!

I've been locked out of Facebook all day! What a diss! Stupid site maintenance. It has not only inconvenienced ME... but Amanda called me in a panic because she thought I had left Facebook when she couldn't see my profile. Hee hee.

Don't worry... I'm still there! Just not today.

What are you people on, dope?

There is a scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Mr. Hand (the history teacher) goes on a bit of a rant when he realizes how bloody stupid all the kids in his class are. I nearly did the same thing today at work.




Q: But seriously... why are so many people so dumb these days?

A:


Rivers Cuomo has all the damn answers.

Total DISS!

So from time to time I take my laundry over to my parents' house because Lydia and I only get 2 days a week to do laundry at our place. I always seem to miss my laundry day during the middle of the week (as does Lydia) which means that there are 2 of us trying to do all of our laundry on Sundays. To avoid a pileup, I just take my stuff out to Surrey since I usually end up visiting on Sundays anyways.

However, this being a long weekend and having had stuff to do on Sunday, I decided to take it out there on Monday instead. Everything was awesome because my mom uses this wicked smelling laundry soap AND she has fabric softener! I was halfway home, driving onto the Knight Street bridge when I gasped out loud in horror... I HAD LEFT ALL OF MY BRAS HANGING UP TO DRY ABOVE THE DRYER IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM... IN SURREY.

WHAT A SERIOUS DISS.

Do you even understand how harsh that is? They are all my best bras! Without them I am nothing! I need their support! (I really, really do. All my well provided for sistas know what I'm talking about!) So here I am at work in my sports bra... and feeling weird... but really comfy. My mom said she would totally bring them to me tonight, along with a sweater and my short shorts that I also left behind. That's why my mom is awesome.

I'll count you out, like a mathematician...

This one goes out to Brie, who played this song at Oddball yesterday. That made me really excited because up until that point I thought I was the only person who knew this song!

Check out the serious rhymes, yo. "I'll hammer your toe like a pediatrician."




Konichiwa, bitches from Beijing to Saigon.

There will be no sausage parties here, thank you.

First off, let me say that miss Mary deserves mad props for the awesome massage she gave me yesterday! I'm on the road to recovery... which involves lots of stretching and trying not to carry my entire life around in my purse. Woot.

And now, I present to you a snippet of a conversation we had at dinner last night:

Craig: "I hate hanging around with other GUYS."
Me: "Ummm... does this mean you think Dave is a woman? Because... BWAHAHAHA!"
Craig: "NO. You know what I mean. Like in groups."
Mary: "Why do you hate it?"
Craig: "It just makes me so mad. They just always want to talk about sports!"
Me: "And you just want to talk about nerd stuff like computers and science!"
Craig: "Yeah! I need conversations. I can't have a serious political discussion with a FRAT BOY."
Mary: "That's funny. They would all be sitting around talking saying things like 'Hey man, did you see the game last night?' and Craig would be all, 'No, but I'm reading books about robots!'"
Sarah: "Dude. It's so true. He's such a nerd!"
Mary: "Oh Craig, my little nerd. Always talking about science... but that's why I like you!"
Craig: "Errrm... thanks?"
Sarah:" Man, nerds are the best!"

Viva la nerd!

I think I fit nicely into both categories, personally.

Craig and Mary just finished watching the entire run of Freaks and Geeks on DVD! I am totally jealous. Apparently on the DVD's there are another 6 episodes that they didn't even air before the show got cancelled! I'm so watching it all. I can't wait. Until I get the chance, I'm using youtube to hold me over for now. This is probably one of my favourite scenes ever... because I think we've all had "that friend" who has done something so painfully lame and embarrassing whilst trying to be "cool" and "different". Watching it makes me both laugh hysterically and cringe at the same time.



Dudes, I am SO glad high school is over.

Kiss! Kiss! Bang! Bang!

If you had asked me about Kensington Park 5 mins ago, I would have told you that it was home to a really lame community centre with a crappy gym and a crappy pool. If you asked me about Kensington Park NOW, I would say pretty much exactly the same thing except with one extra part added: awesome place to watch the fireworks!

A few months ago some random chatty guy at the bus stop told Lydia that you could see the fireworks from there. Tonight when I heart the thunderous explosions start, I hopped in the car to check it out. The streets around the park were lined with cars and the park was full of people! Not English Bay or Vanier full by any means, but there were a hell of a lot more people there than you would normally find. When you get to the top part of the hill where the baseball diamonds are, you can totally see the fireworks! Obviously not the low ones, but pretty much everything else. I didn't bother to get out of the car and stop to watch the whole thing because I was all by myself, but it seems like a pretty good place to go if you want to see the light show and avoid the masses. I would suggest taking a little radio with you to hear the music.

I guess my neighborhood does have something going for it after all. Too bad I didn't think of that LAST Wednesday! Oy.

Secret secret. I've got a secret.

Today I have some sort of secret job training thingy to go to at work. I have no idea what it will be, or where it is. They are really being hush hush about it. Keeping in on the DL.

I really hope it is like this:




And then on the way home, I hope it is like this:



Please, oh please, oh please, oh pleeeeeeeeaaaasssse. But it is probably just real actual job training.

Dear lord, please let me see a powerpoint presentation soon...

Man, people are going to think I'm so awesome when I use this harsh diss on someone in the next big meeting at work.

Toothpaste for Dinner is the best!

How to drown out the sound of Celine Dion.

Method # 72:



Works like a charm... you're darn right you can rock out on a keytar!

Money money, it isn't funny... when you're living in the rich man's world.

I'm starting to feel a little bit of stress related to the possibility of moving. At first I was really excited... because who wouldn't want to live in a shiny new place? I do. I really really do. However, I am starting to realise that this really isn't going to work out the way I want it to. The problem is... money.

The bottom line is that I just don't make enough of it. Not nearly enough. I might as well get paid in actual peanuts... at least then I would always have food around. I have rent, car payments, insurance, cell phone, regular phone, cable and internet bills, visa and a student loan to pay off. And then I am still supposed to be able to eat afterwards. I suppose I can stop having fun altogether and never go out, never buy anything that is not edible and never eat at restaurants. Then I can afford to pay more in rent. That sounds like a pretty fun life, no?

I hate money. It gives me anxiety. If I am not careful, I might start getting anxiety attacks again. I really, really hate money. I guess now I just have to wait for my parents to win the lottery... because I certainly shouldn't be spending my precious pennies on lotto tickets. Grrrr.

Nerd alert, nerd alert!

If you have known me for any amount of time, you have probably discovered how much of a giant music nerd I am. Every music nerd has this one little particular genre that they are SERIOUSLY nerdy about. Not just "Oh, wow I like this song." but I mean, "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG! I REMEMBER WHEN THEY PLAYED THIS ON TOP OF THE POPS IN 1983!" I'm talking hardcore geekouts, yo.

For me, this genre is New Wave. I just can't get enough of it. (That was a subtle New Wave joke right there. You see? That is how nerdy I am. Are you starting to get it now?) I have this secret filing system in my brain that is able to categorize every New Wave hit I have ever heard. The other day at work a song came on the radio and I spazzed out. I suddenly blurted out, "OHMIGOD SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE!" Maybe you don't think this is weird... but the song came out in 1980, the year before I was born and they were never crazy popular here like Duran Duran or anything. So why the heck would I know that? Because I probably heard it once when I was 2 and I somehow retained that information. That is messed up.

Does anyone have a brain like mine? Does anyone else in my age group know and love Squeeze as much as I do? Cause if you do, I think we need to hang out. I'm tired of using my knowledge to impress the 40+ crowd at work.

Here's the song that sparked the geek out in question. It's so friggin' good.

Take THAT, Hallmark!

Any of you that have ever celebrated a birthday with me around are likely to have been a recipent of one of my awesome homemade greeting cards. I'm pretty sure that the whole reason people have birthdays is so that I can make them awesome cards. However, today the tables have turned! Here are the two homemade e-cards I got this morning at work...

This one is from David "Awesome" Track:

This one gets points for several reasons:

1) It is Harrison goddamn Ford.
2) It is Harrison goddamn Ford in a speedo.

3) This is basically the exact style of card that I make for everyone. I think it's the funniest thing ever.

4) Quote bubbles! Filled with hilarious things that the person obviously did not really say! (You really need to click on the pic to read the speech bubble. So worth it.)

Pretty awesome. Solid work, Tracker.

Then there was this little beauty, created by mixmaster Craig, the web MC:

Okay. There is a lot going on here, which is why it is so AWESOME. Craig really put some thought into this one... let's break down the points:

1) Symmetry between the "Sarah Rocks" and the photo of me throwing up the rock fist.

2) THE DEF LEPPARD FONT, DAMNIT!

3) Birthday cake, which I totally love to eat. (How did he know that???)

4) Starbucks coffee. I make Craig go with me to get some pretty much every other morning.

5) The science beaker! I really, really love science. A lot. Maybe a little TOO much.

Plus, Angus made me a card that says "YOU'RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO DYING!!" on the front of it in kindergarden writing, and Amanda gave me a photo snowglobe with a picture of me making the most unflattering and hilarious face ever captured on film.

All in all, it has been an excellent day for creativity. Thanks, kids!

Happy Birthday, random celebrities!

All of these people are celebrating birthdays today...

These stars were all born on July 20:
Rockabilly singer Sleepy LaBeef is 72.
Actress Diana Rigg (The Avengers ) is 69.
Bassist John Lodge of the Moody Blues is 64.
Country singer T.G. Sheppard is 63.
Singer Kim Carnes is 61.
Guitarist Carlos Santana is 60.
Drummer Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols is 51.
Actress Donna Dixon (Bosom Buddies ) is 50.
Country singer Radney Foster is 48.
Singer Chris Cornell (of Audioslave and of Soundgarden) is 43.
Guitarist Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam is 41.
Actor Reed Diamond (Judging Amy,Homicide: Life on the Street ) is 40.
Actor Josh Holloway (Lost ) is 38.
Singer Vitamin C is 38.
Actor Simon Rex is 33.
Actor Charlie Korsmo (Can't Hardly Wait,Hook ) is 29.
Actor John Francis Daley (Freaks and Geeks ) is 22.
Actress Billi Bruno (According to Jim ) is 11.

So am I! Plus I am younger than pretty much all of them. Woot! Also... SLEEPY LABEEF???? Ummmm, best name EVER!

26 is the new 45.

I know that 26 is a bit early for a midlife crisis, especially since I fully intend to live to the age of 135, but sometimes you just have to wonder...

Today at work they were listening to the Mom station, and when "Wind Beneath My Wings" came on, I started asking myself very important questions...



Mostly "My god... what have I done?" (TO DESERVE THIS??? Bette Midler is among the most severe forms of punishment used in this country in modern times, you know.)

But seriously... how did I get here?

Goodbye, cute city!

I may have mentioned before that I live underneath what is called "Cute City". Cute City is inhabited by a very nice mom, a very nice dad, a very cute baby girl and a very cute puppy dog.
It's pretty fun living there sometimes. Mostly when you come home from work all grumpy and whatnot... and you open the gate to be greeted by a baby and a puppy! Then you start talking in your high voice and totally forget about the fact that you were grumpy up until 5 seconds ago.

Hence why I am so sad about the fact that cute city is moving away!

That's right, friends. The landlords are moving away! I really don't know how to feel about it. We kind of wanted to move anyways so this actually works out better for us in a way... but it's kind of bittersweet. They are seriously the best landlords ever. Not many people would be willing to come downstairs in the middle of the night to kill a mouse. Or come downstairs at 6am for the same reason. Or give detailed explanations of the exact species of ant that has been spotted in the vicinity of the house. Or give you free lettuce from the garden... or give you 3 bottles of wine at Christmas to make up for the fact that in November of that year you were totally at home and trying to sleep when there was a baby being born in their bedroom upstairs.

They are moving in October and I think that it is probably likely that we will end up moving as well. It just wouldn't be the same, living there with new people. I guess we all have to move on sometime, don't we?

So farewell, cute city! Good luck, and I will miss your smiling baby and puppy kisses. (Oh, and you too, grown ups! You're alright, kids.)

Careful, he's a hugger!

My birthday is this weekend, so my parents are making me dinner on Friday. My mom likes to make dinner for everyone on their birthdays... it's just one of those things that we do. This year, some of my friends might be coming out there with me to eat my mom's yummy food and hang out. I felt compelled to warn them about something before they meet my dad:

"Just so you know... he really likes to hug. A lot."

My dad is a serious hugger. My whole family is, really. I've never really thought about it as being all that strange... when you grow up in a hugging family, you just sort of assume that this is normal behavior. I remember thinking it was really weird when I came across friends whose families didn't hug. In my house, there was rampant hugging! All of the time! Are you sad? You need a hug. Happy? That qualifies for a hug. My dog even loves to hug me. I'm just kind of used to it.

I've really been thinking a lot about this lately... which lead to my discovery of this video:



This guy is a busker from Montreal who is a serious hugger. My family does not hug as much as this dude does. But watching it made me think about some interesting things...

Which of my friends are huggers and which aren't? Do I have friends that I hug and some that I have never, ever hugged? It sort of seems weird to me that I could have people that I consider to be good friends of mine that I have never hugged before. Is it weird? Have you really cemented your friendship with someone if you have never hugged them before? I've hugged people that I've just met. Is it crazy to hug someone you barely know? Would you ever hug a stranger?

Hugging sure is complicated for something that seems so normal to me! So friends, tell me your thoughts on hugging. I'd love to hear them.

*internet hugs*

Robbie Williams... aka King of the Bongo

Okay, so I was looking on Wikipedia for somethingorother and I ended up reading the Lily Allen entry. This is where I happened upon a most fascinating piece of information:

Allen provided backing vocals on the Basement Jaxx song "Lights Go Down" (from Crazy Itch Radio) and appears on tracks on Robbie Williams's latest album, Rudebox as example on the Manu Chao-cover "Bongo Bong And Je ne t'aime plus".

To which I responded with a loud "WHAAAAAAAAAT??????".

I read the sentence out loud to Lydia and she responded with a loud "WHAAAAAAAAT?????".

So I looked it up. And much to my surprise, I actually really liked it! I seriously thought it was going to suck harder than a Dyson (they never lose their suction, you know.) but it's pretty darn good!

There's no official music video for it yet, but you can watch this one for now, just so you can hear the song. Try not to dance around. I dare you!



He's just full of surprises, that one.

So close... yet so far away...

Frig, man. I put my name in a draw to win tickets to the Hip concert tonight and I TOTALLY LOST.

I guess I can just go home and stare at a wall... which is almost as awesome in the sense that is is totally NOT awesome AT ALL. So basically what I am saying here is that I didn't win and now I am grumpy to the extreme for real.

What a harsh diss on me! Mostly because the peeps that did win can totally afford to buy tickets... and I cannot, so it is an extra harsh diss because it reminds me of how I am ghetto poor. HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING!

Plus I did not see the cute boy on the bus this morning. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO SUCK?????

(PS: Being whiny and over dramatic is an excellent way to both make and keep friends!)

Dang, it's like George Clooney hot outside today...

On any other sunny summer day, I would be annoyed that I had to come into work and stay here for a good solid 8 hours.

But not today. Today I am glad to be here... because someone had the good sense to equip this building with air conditioning. *ahhhhhhhhhh*

The morning heat also forced me to make a way early trip to the Starbucks for an icy treat... and I discovered the wonders of an iced vanilla brewed coffee. As far as Starbucks goes, that shit is cheap. Only $2.50 for a grande! Plus I added skim milk, so it's not crazy bad for me. Excellent. Say hello to my new summer beverage.

This may be the first day in the history of my life as a working adult that I actually don't want to go home... I'm so not looking forward to the sweaty bus ride home. Yuck.



You are darn right, Mr. Poindexter. Darn right.

***EDIT***

Okay, I just freaked myself out because up until 5 minutes ago I totally didn't realize that Buster Poindexter was actually David Johansen from the New York Dolls. No wonder he looked so familiar... this is just like the day I discovered that "Blinded by the Light" was a Springsteen cover. I feel like an idiot.

And you can dance... for inspiration...

YESSSSS! Apparently, Debbie Harry can read my 5 year old mind. They are making Desperately Seeking Susan into a musical!

I LOVED watching this movie when I was little... mostly because I thought Madonna looked so rad in it. I still do! My favourite part is the club scene, when she is dancing to her own song... only it's not her song because she's not playing herself in the movie.

This musical is even crazier because it will be packed full of Blondie songs. I'll probably never get to see it, but this is one musical I would totally pay to see.



Yeah yeah yeah for giant bows and new wave dancing! (And for Aidan Quinn, who I think is kind of awesome.)

Whew! I feel so much better now...

This morning on the bus I saw a kid wearing a shirt that advertised the fact that he was on his way to physics camp at UBC. PHYSICS CAMP!!!!

Suddenly I don't feel so bad about spending so much time alphabetizing my CD's.

Heh. Physics camp...

N.E.R.D.

Today I partook in what is quite possibly the nerdiest activity I have in my repertoire of activities. I know how nerdy it really is, but I don't care because I LOVE doing it.

Every once in awhile I get bored and decide to rearrange my CD collection. I have a ton of them, because I have kept every CD I have ever bought/had given to me/"borrowed" from my Dad. I'm not going to lie to you. I had made a frigging mess of it lately. They were scattered all over the place, and completely devoid of any sort of classification system. I finally got pissed off today when I couldn't find my frigging copy of Midnite Vultures. So I went to town.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Just alphabetize that shit and get it over with. It is not so simple! This is the kind of thing one really needs to think about. I once organized them all in chronological order, according to time of purchase! Mind you, it was a much smaller collection back then so it was easier. Frig if I remember when I bought/swiped them from the campus radio station!

I decided to go alphabetical for now... which ended up being the easiest way... but also the most shameful.

There is a Bush album (Deconstructed... I HAVE THAT???) right beside my London Calling CD.

Don't worry. I'm going to go kick my own ass right now. Damn my 16 year old self!

So imagine that you walk outside and you are standing in a meadow where there are fat little babies who just learned how to walk playing with puppies, bunnies, kittens, baby pandas and baby ducks. Cute, right? NOT AS CUTE AS THIS VIDEO.



A cute boy with a cute accent, singing a cute song WITH HIS EYES CLOSED while a video of frolicking baby animals plays in the background. It makes me melt.

It also makes me feel kind of pervy because he's only like, 20. But really, can you blame me? His name is Paulo Nutini and he's Scottish! It's such an awesome trick!

You can thank the flux capacitor for that one...

Conversation between slightly drunken friends on a Friday night:

DAVE: *blah blah blah, makes joke about someone's mom*

ME: (speaking in fake British accent, which is actually pretty good) "Oh, shut up you tosser."

DAVE: "Did you just call me a tosser?"

ME: "Indeed, I did."

DAVE: "HAHAHA! That's awesome. Oh wait... SHUT UP!"

(This carries on for bit.... 5 mins later...)

*Dave's mobile rings... his ringtone is "American Psycho" by Treble Charger*

ME: Ummmm... Dave, 1999 is calling, you'd better answer that!"

*Hysterical laughter and mad props courtesy of Amanda and Seth... and me.)

Damnit, I'm awesome.

Memory *mostly* full (of crap).

When I was little my brother and I used to watch a lot of TV together. It was pretty much the only time we didn't fight. Hence, a good number of my childhood memories are centred around the television. Some of them are pretty funny... and completely random. It makes me wonder why I remember them at all, since they were so weird and insignificant.

1) When I was 3 or 4 I was sick one day and couldn't go to preschool. I was pretty pissed off about having to stay in bed. My mom felt bad, so she brought our teeny tiny little black and white Grenada TV into my room, and we spent the morning watching scrambled up episodes of Mr. Dressup and Sesame Street. I'm pretty sure we got a 21 inch colour TV like 2 days later. I love my mom.

2) When I was 5 my brother and I were watching Magnum PI (I really liked the theme song) when he turned to me and said, "Magnum PI is a gaylord!". I'm pretty sure he didn't know exactly what that meant, because he turned around and started watching again. I wonder what my mom was thinking when I came up to her a few mins later and said, "Jason just called Magnum PI a gaylord! What does that mean?" (I think an appropriate answer would have been "BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!")

3) I loved watching Family Ties and thought that Alex P. Keaton was the coolest dude EVER. I loved him. I wanted to be like him. My hopes were crushed years later when I found out what a Republican was.

4) I used to watch Muchmusic ALLLLLLL day. This is where I discovered reruns of the Monkees! My mother came to regret exposing me to it after I saw the Christmas episode when Davy got knocked off a ladder, clung onto the Christmas tree and sent the whole thing falling over. Why did she regret it? Because I thought it was SO FUNNY that I had to replicate it by standing on the corner of the couch and falling onto the cushions like 70 times a day for years afterwards.

And now you can share the memories with me...



Heh. Nice shorts, gaylord. (Just kidding. I love Tom Selleck.)

Who needs the Kwik E Mart?

I dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Last night Kelly was nice enough to drive Lydia and I out to Coquitlam (or the Coq, as I like to call it.) to visit the Kwik E Mart! I highly recommend checking it out, mainly for the sweet photo ops and the fact that there are like, 9 different flavors of Squishees. (Dr. Pepper AND Root Beer included! Yessssssssss!)

Check out Kelly's Flickr for more sweet photos of our adventure. Including one of the man the dudes outside in the lineup called "a real-life Apu". Actually, before he even said that, I was talking about how I was sort of worried that basically any person of Indian descent who happens to work at a 7-Eleven is probably about 100% more likely to get harrassed by drunk kids wanting them to say "Thank you, come again!" due to this whole promotion. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

IMG_1498.jpg Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson

Oh, Ralph.

She's turning up the heat...

Karaoke party at my house! Good lord, did this make me laugh. I love Loverboy.

I've waited hours for this...

It's a good song, isn't it? IT WILL BE EVEN BETTER WHEN I SEE IT LIVE AND IN PERSON FROM MY AWESOME SEATS THAT I JUST GOT THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap, am I excited about this show. Lydia and I have AMAZING seats... row 15 at the corner section! I might cry a little. October 9th can not come fast enough. I am filled with glee right now. GLEE!