Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Mind the Gap. And your manners, bitch!

Why are people such jerks on the bus in the morning? Today I was standing by the door waiting to get off the bus. The bus stop was on the other side of the intersection and we were at a red light so we couldn't get off yet.

So I'm standing near the back doors waiting, when this dude stars pushing his way through the crowd. He gets behind men and starts to push me out of the way. So I turn around and look at him like "WTF? Wait, goddamnit." Then he says to me in the most impatient way possible, "Come on, let's go! It's time to get off the bus now! Time to move!" So I let him go past me and he stands on the stairs at the door and looks confused as to why the doors aren't opening... then screams out "BACK DOOR! BACK DOOR!" and gets off.

I don't think he understands how it works. You wait your goddamn turn and get off at THE BUS STOP. If the driver feels like letting you off on the wrong side of the street, consider it a bonus. BUT DON'T BITCH ME OUT BECAUSE YOU ARE RETARDED.

The point of this story is, if you are going to be a total dick to complete strangers, at least do so FOR A REASON. Bitch, you ain't gonna play ME like that!

I got a rad saying from a Trivial Pursuit card which was on the table at White Spot yesterday at dinner. It is from the SNL edition. The question was "Which neighbor could not get Mr.Robinson to stop playing the drums, so he broke down the door and changed the word of the day to 'pain'?"

The answer is... MR. T!!!!!

I love it. So hard. SO, now when people piss me off, I'll be all, "You better stop playing those drums or I'm gonna change the word of the day to PAIN." It sounds menacing, no? That's right, FOOL!

And one more thing about vacations. All the kids at work are gone. They left me here with all my work parents. Now it's like I actually have to behave myself or something. Dang. DANG! Plus I am still pissed at all you bitches who went on vacation without me. BUT... I did find something that will make my imaginary vacay WAY BETTER. Look who is going to join me:

That's right FOOLS! We are totally getting matching sombreros.

Mr. T and I are going to party like it's 1989. (Not 1999, because he lost all his money in the 90's due to decrease in popularity with the kids... if we do it up '89 style, you KNOW these bitches are gonna have a GOOD TIME.)

That is all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I got yelled at by some bitch today too. I had to phone her to set up an install time and she went off about all this stupid crap. What a douche bag. So yeah, then i came home and phoned jacob and told them i wasn't comming in anymore, ever. $32 a week doesn't seem worth it to me.